5 on 5 A Charlestown Awards

This league has gotten so good that we at CAC had to start a B league just so we could get all you studs the competition that you deserve week in and week out.  Needless to say this was an insanely competitive league with a ton of talent.  All of the fans have voted and the award winners are listed below.  All winners will receive a free bottle of Ticalilicious, the new fragrance from CAC and one coupon for half off one Happy Ending from YOUR choice of Chinatown message parlor.


MVP ñ Basil Wajd, CTown Fire ñ Despite CTown Fireís struggles at the end of the season, mostly due to the absence of the Colman bros, Basil was the most consistent player throughout the season with his perimeter shooting, ability to dominate the glass, and his defense.  You need a player to start your CAC franchise and are not on crazy pills, you best pick Basil with your first pick.

Runners Up ñ Dan Martin, Jared Hite


Rookie of the Year ñ  Dan Martin, Living the Dream ñ Thunder Dan was the best offensive post player in the league hands down.  Dan had a combination of power and finesse that could only be comparable to my Monopoly play when I get to be the Battleship.

Runners up ñ Mike Kozial, Brian Andruskiewicz, Steve Lavapacelo, Jared Hite


Defensive Player of the Year ñ  Jared Hite, Tuesday Night Lights ñ Protect your Cornhole!!!  Hite Em Up treated his teams basket like it was his Cornhole and he was doiní a 3-9 in Walpole.  Nothing was getting in their basket when Jared was in the game.  In all seriousness, if TNL wins this yearís belt it will be more a credit to Jaredís D rather than TNLís offense.

Runners up ñ Tommy Pagos, Will Jones, Jeff Kane, Preston Raymond


GM/Coach of the Year ñ Mike Ellis, 3E ñ This was the hardest award to give out because the MixTape had a strong case for picking up Hite and Naz during the season but when I thought about it, Mike Ellis got his boys to get his boys the 4th seed despite not having the same team play 2 weeks in a row.  At the beginning of the season he was robbing the Westford cradle to get some young gunners to get some Ws and now Mike got Killa Kell back in the lineup and lo and behold they handed CTown Fire a devastating loss last week.  Mike Ellis proved this season he is a mover and a shaker when it comes to his roster.  With people like Mike running the company, should it be any surprise that 3E Moving Company still has yet to record any moving related fatalities throughout their existence?  You canít watch a Road Runner cartoon without seeing Wile E Cayote dropping a piano on himself and why?  Because he aint a professional like the 3E Moving Company.

Runners up ñ The MixTape


Unsung Players of the Year ñ This award is usually given to the player that stepped his game up to the point where he put his team on his back and answered the hero line when the phone was ringing.  This season there was 3 players that went above the call of duty and totally elevated their game to give their teamís a better chance of getting Ws.

Zack Ellis, 3E ñ Dropped 40 against the defending champions and is the steady shooter that 3E always relied on to get a bucket

Dan Duggan, Quincy ñ Averaging a cunt hair under 15 points, Hacksaw was the Big Toe of the Quincy squad.  Every game this season he was their best overall player and when Quincy needed to make a play happen, Dan made it happen on both ends of the court.

Shawn Driscoll, Eat It to Beat It ñ The Pistol is the biggest guard in the league and totally abused any big man that tried to stick him.  McDavid will be sponsoring Shawn next season as the number of broken ankles rises each time he busts out that cradle rocking cross over.  With the pull up jumper back, the Pistol at times has taken games over.  A lot of Eat Its success can be attributed to his streaky scoring.  YOU, you bring youíre green hat!


6th Man of the Year ñ Mike Hoar, Eat It to Beat It ñ Boo You Hoar comes off the bench for Eat It and I am pretty sure if you put him on any team in this league he is that good that he could start.  This guy is Captain Clutch and came up with numerous big buckets this season that I can remember off the top of my head.  Any time you can get a guy to average double digits in scoring while coming off your bench is going to be about as valuable an asset as Ron Jeremyís 3rd leg has been to him for his porno career.


All CAC 1st team ñ Basil, Hite, Martin, Polansky, Z Ellis

All CAC 2nd team ñ D Gallager, PStone, Driscoll, M Ellis, Kane


All CAC Defensive Team ñ Hite, Jones, Kane, Pagos, PStone


The Joey Diesel Award ñ this is the first time this award is given and it is awarded to the most entertaining person of the league.  For those that donít know, Joey Diesel is one of the faces on CAC Mount Rushmore and was responsible for injecting CAC with the flavor and entertainment value that you all take for granted now.  The inaugural award is given to none other than, The MixTape, Mike Turin from Tuesday Night Lights.  He will never win the 5 on 5 MVP, but my man is responsible for bringing a certain level of entertainment to each game.  From his numerous attempts at AND1 moves during games, to threatening his own players with subbing himself into the game if they didnít play any better, the MixTape represents what CAC is all about:  Being competitive while bringing a certain level of fun and humor which separates this league from every other basketball league.

Runners Up:  Colin, Living the Dream,  Sully, 3E,