A Prelude to League Night Out

Originally Posted
2011-02-28

BFab’s Neely Fundraiser

This is only my second blog, but I imagine this will be one of my toughest to write.  I say that for a couple of reasons.  BFab tasked me with recapping the events of the Cam Neely fundraiser/going away party Friday night at Tommy Doyles.  The reason it will be so difficult is because I spent the first two hours of the party locked in to my alma mater, Fairfield, playing on ESPN2, I’m not ready to make enemies in just my first season as a staffer by posting incriminating events for all to read, and lastly, let’s just say I too got my $40 worth of food and drink at the two hour open bar…emphasis on the second part of that wonderfully delicious combo.  Details may be a little cloudy.

Well…here goes…I arrived at about 6:45 for the open bar which started at 7:00.  Naturally BFab wasn’t even there yet, but Tommy, Serge and Reddick were there and ready to drink.  This was a pretty big night for me, because as I mentioned Fairfield was playing on ESPN2.  This was a rare chance for me to watch my Stags at a bar in a season where they are the favorite to win their conference and play in the NCAA tournament!  So I did what any reasonable and mentally stable person would do…I put on a tattered reversible Fairfield practice jersey (home white side of course) that I stole (happy, Tommy?) back in college over a long sleeved black shirt, and got ready to drink heavily…completely ridiculous, but I couldn’t have cared less.

I arrived upstairs, ordered my first drink and told the bartender that BFab promised me the game would be on the TVs for me.  He obliged by putting the game, which would start at 7:00, on every TV in the place.  Well when he changed the channel it was 6:52 so everybody at Tommy Doyle’s got eight minutes of the PBA tour…yup…bowling.  YOU’RE WELCOME PATRONS OF TOMMY DOYLE’S .

I suppose I should have started from the very beginning…before ordering my first drink and getting the TV’s figured out I officially introduced myself to Mr. RoY himself, Tommy Kahana.  Tommy and I had been going back and forth on the boards but we’d never met in person.  From playing in the Wednesday coed league (The A-league so to speak…that’s right, I said it) I already knew who Tommy was by appearance as well as message board avatar.

So to backtrack a little further, my coed team played at 6:00 on Wednesday.  After our game at the King School we went to the Sunset Café for beers before heading back to the school to watch the 9:00 game.  As I walked in with my teammate Paulie, Tommy and Loren from the team that formerly belonged to LJ (Terry was sick of not getting the attention he deserved so he quit this session…but that’s another story for another time) were leaving.

“Heyyyooo,” I greeted…Tommy and Loren nodded…

“How’d you guys do?” I asked.

“We won…” was the response…no eye contact…no smile…just kept it moving…I was speechless and Paulie just started laughing his ass off.

Come to find out on Friday night that Tommy had no idea who I was by face…only through the message boards.  I guess if we’re going to call it what it is, Tommy is kind of a big deal…people know him…me?  Not so much.  But I razzed him, and  Tommy, realizing that he unknowingly “Big-Leagued” little old me quickly and repeatedly apologized.  This was going to be a fun night.

It was nice to finally meet some of the infamous CAC staffers that I’d only seen on the message boards.  Kap was in the building, afraid to sit on any bar chairs or stools after apparently falling out of one on a first and practically blind date.  Tommy was trying to instigate a bar fight between myself and Adolpho from the Toucher and Rich show.  He was hanging out by the bar, talking with some girl that tried to convince me that NASCAR is more exciting than golf…needless to say, she is an idiot.

Things started off quietly, but some familiar faces started to appear.  Of course BFab eventually made his grand entrance followed by Terry and LJ, Harvey and EJ, and of course the CAC’s TRUE power couple…NATE DOGG AND NIBS!!

There were carbombs, rum and cokes, beers, red headed sluts and even a shot of patron.  A couple of CACers thought it would be a good idea to take that shot of patron and multiply it by 5.  I won’t name names, but lets just say the night didn’t end well for either of them.

For the record, I’m not writing this blog in the order that the events happened, I’m writing it in the order that I’m remembering them.  If my writing is fragmented and not fluid…again…it’s because that’s my recollection of the night.

Of course there was plenty of discussion about the upcoming marquee coed tilt between Shirt Before The Shirt and Weapons of Mass Seduction.  Good time to mention that Loren made an appearance…I’m fairly certain I vaguely remember calling her out for throwing me to the ground once in a coed game and then scowling at me and stepping over me rather than helping me up.  I’m a pretty friendly guy without alcohol, but the beers and shots made it more than easy to bury the hatchet and joke about it, especially since she was kind enough to extend the social networking olive branch with a Facebook friend request at the end of the evening.  Gotta love 2011.

Apparently I’m a pretty good wing man when I’m too drunk to realize it.  Sorry kids but this is another one of those “not naming names” situations.  I was credited with an assist for apparently removing a third wheel from a conversation which allowed a couple of people to get to know each other a little better.  What’s an assist at the bar worth on the player rater?

…What else happened…oh yeah, when I got there, BFab gave me two raffle tickets that came with my $40 and I bought two more for $5…I can’t remember how, but I managed to acquire about another 10 of them at some point in the night.  Didn’t matter…all losers.

Sometime around midnight they finally pulled the numbers and I realized that my roommate had completely left me hanging so I just left.  You know those people that once they get drunk, you can’t keep track of them?  They just wander off…I’m not typically that guy, but I was on Friday night.  Said a couple of good-byes and then bounced.

I took the T to Davis and then made the mile walk to my place in Medford during which I called my girlfriend and I guess I repeatedly told her that I looked ridiculous in my practice jersey.  Of course the night was not complete until I made nachos and drunk comments on my sister’s facebook pictures of her and a friend with Semyon Varlamov and some other notable Washington Capitals.

Well for those of you who weren’t there…you missed out…BUT don’t be too sad.  LEAGUE NIGHT OUT takes place at that same Tommy Doyles on March 26!!  I do not believe it to be an open bar event but its guaranteed to be a ton of fun (see my first blog) with all the shenanigans from Friday night and more.  BFab, thanks for putting the event together dude.  I know you’re not gone for good, but best of luck in Stamford.  I’ll need to find somebody to heckle me until you get back…might be a five person job filling your Air Cheeseburger kicks.  Go to Bobby Valentine’s Restaurant sometime.  AWESOME place to watch a game.

Before I wrap this thing up I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a person who DIDN’T show up to the Friday night event.  My roommate Dave stayed home, but with good reason.  Dave and the WOMS fearless leader Sara stayed home and watched a webcast of the US Youth Soccer Awards Gala where Dave’s father Ed Celli was named 2010 US Youth Soccer TOPSoccer Buddy of the Year.  Mr. Celli was in Louisville, KY with three other finalists from around the country for their work as a teacher and mentor to the youths in their community.  15 years ago with the help of Dave, Ed brought the TOPSoccer program to Wilmington for young athletes with disabilities.  Over the past decade and a half, the program has flourished and now involves 100 volunteer coaches.

Congrats to Ed Celli and his proud son Dave for being recognized as the very best in volunteer service to those who have already dealt with more adversity in a short time than some of us will ever face in our lives.

See you all at League Night Out!!