Abby Greshik, Team Captain of the Hoosiers

With the Womenís League in full swing, one of the most talented and charismatic players to emerge has been Abby Greshik of the Hoosiers.  Luckily for me, Abby set aside some time of her busy schedule to sit down and chat with me about hoops and a day in the life of Ms. Greshik.

Abby, thanks for stepping into the Corner for a much anticipated interview.

No problem. Iíd like to thank the academies, my parents, god, my agentÖam I forgetting anyone? Iím sure Iím forgetting someoneÖmy dog skipper, my fans, myÖ.

I got 10 questions that Iím going to fire away at you, hope you can handle it.

So do IÖkeep it easy, though, Iím a bit of a lightweight.

Iíll be gentleÖHere we go Abby Greshik, please, wipe your shoes before stepping into the Corner.

1.  Abby, give us some background information about yourself, where you grew up, anything of interest that you would like to share, basketball backgroundÖetc

HmmÖIím originally from North Dakota

North Dakota???  Thereís a North Dakota now???

Yeah, thatís the state in the middle, thatís apart of Canada in every way but name.

Canuck bastards, always bragging aboot their free health care and aboot their unlocked front doors.

Whoa, did I strike a nerve Sean?

Iím sorry about that, you were sayingÖ

So, I grew up on a farm and went to school in a ridiculously small town, then to college in a slightly larger (but still ridiculously small by Mass. Standards) town, then moved to beantown to get my M.A. I played a couple years at Jamestown College before hurting myself (like an idiot).  I was pretty small for a center/forward, but Iím mean, so it was sort of an alternating type of game for me: against small forwards, I was like a bull in a china shop, against the big ones, I was more like a pinball bouncing off the solid walls in the machine.  Always an adventure.

Variety is the spice of life

2.  Take me through a typical day being Abby Greshik.  Allow us to walk a proverbial mile in your shoes.

Well I work at a textbook publisher, so itís a lot of reading and writing (but no ërithmatic, fortunately).  Itís not very interesting for most people.  I get up, go to work, read, then write, then read some more. Then thereís lunch, then I do more reading and writing, I go home and do it all over the next day.

(snoring in the back ground)

Hey!  Wake your ass up.

Oh, sorry bout that, you were saying something about those damn Canadiens.

Never mind, next question.

3.  Whatís more annoying, getting poison ivy or watching those two idiots from the Appelbees commercial, you know what Iím talking about ìA three hour tour!!!î

Having not had poison ivy, I gotta go with the Applebees guys. No brainer.

If I had money for another TV I would have put my foot through it the hundredth time I saw those two morons.

Yeah, especially with their new commercial that they have out now.

Oh, man, not another one!  I think Iíd rather sit through Beaches then watch them sing another crappy commercial.

4.  Talk a little about your Hoosier team.  What is everyoneís roles on the team?

Weíve got a motley mix of folks in there. Kate B-G is one of the smarter players Iíve seenóshe sees the floor really well, and is always solid on both ends of the court. Allison is a great player to have on a team-funny and works hard all the time. Same goes for Anna FuhrmanóI swear that girl never gets tired. Debraís a bit of a banger insideósheís a force to be reckoned with. We also just picked up a new free agent, Tiffany Jones. Sheís probably our most aggressive player and definitely helps pump up the rest of the team. Sheís great at splitting the defense, moving the ball around the floor, and getting scary on D.

And if I ever give her a call, she would be that much better.

I know, could you give her a call or two here and there.  The way she places D, Iím pretty sure she could take you if you piss her off again.

Great, yet another woman I have to worry about knocking me out and giving me a wedgy

5.  Do you find it funny that someone who looks like they are 13 is running your basketball league?

Not really. So long as you donít have a wrestling buildówrestler bodies on short guys give me the willies.

What are you talking about???  Iím jacked!

Sean, I hate to be the one that tells you this, but your mom is lying to you, you arenít that big.

(Slight Sniffle)  The truth always hurts.

Iím sorry, why donít we move on before you have a mental breakdown.

6.  Now that I am composed, tell me, whatís a better chick flick:  Dirty Dancing (which I canít stand but every woman in my life is obsessed with), Fried Green Tomatoes, or, name another one that I havenít listed and why?

Iíve never actually seen Fried Green Tomatoes, and Dirty Dancing is all right, but not the best chick flickóIíd have to go with Say Anything. Thereís lot of good stuff in that one, including a guy in a giant chicken suit.

You can never go wrong with a guy in a giant chicken suit, however, and people may disagree with me, but I believe that movie glamorizes stalking.  Iím not to sure if the cops wouldnít come if I was standing outside some chickís house holding a stereo and a pocket full of dreams.

Donít ruin my movie, Sean!!!

Sorry, AbbyÖTruth hurts doesnít it?

Thatís because I said you werenít jacked isnít it?

You are perceptive

7.  How much of what the President says to you believe, break it down in percentages?    Do you support the Decider?

Are we allowed to use profanity in this interview?

In the Corner, I am the Decider and you may say whatever you want.

Ok, Iíll just sum it with this, heís the type of guy who would read the cover of the Count of Monte Cristo, laugh, then call all of his friends to be like, ìGuys, youíll never believe this, some guy named dumbas, wrote a book. You got to check it out.î

Wow, way to be witty, I just got that one.

Thank you

8.  So far in your short life, what has been your finest accomplishment or what are you most proud of?

I once made it three-quarters of the way through gargling Happy Birthday to my sister (an annual event) before spitting water everywhere. It was a fine day. I hope to someday make it all the way, but I donít want to get my hopes up.

RightÖWell, I guess itís ok to have dreams.

9.  Funniest drinking story that you can share?  I love hearing answers to this question.

Letís just say that it involved a number of tequila shots, a Jamaican rapper who tried to kidnap me, a Range Rover, and a mechanical bull somewhere in Texas.

Wow, that sounds exactly like mine, except it was a Portuguese rapper and a Jeep.

Small world.

10.  Abby, with my final question, do me a favor and leave me with the funniest movie quote that you have ever heard:

I met her at the mall. I should have known we were doomed. 

Haha, thatís great stuff Abby, thanks for your time.

My pleasure Sean, and please, for your sake, give my girl Tiffany some calls.

After today, she gets the pass.  Good luck this season.