All-Coed East & West Rankings, All Stars

Originally Posted

Being one of a select few people that have seen every coed team, east and west this season I’ve taken it upon myself to provide power rankings from time to time.  Today I’m going to get a little bit more involved with All-coed power rankings, a Tibbs-like hypothetical tournament, and 1st, 2nd, 3rd male and female all coed teams.  Enjoy…

First the power rankings…I’m basing these entirely on the teams that I believe to be the toughest even if their record does not say so.

1.  Shirt Before The Shirt – This shouldn’t come as a surprise.  Defending champs and undefeated this season.  I’m 0-3 against them in the past two seasons with some very close calls.  They lose Terry, they bring in Tommy.  Ashley has been a nice addition as well.  They are beatable, but it’s going to take a sound effort from a good team

2.  Weapons of Mass Seduction – Call me biased, call me whatever you want, but I think we’ve proven to be the biggest threat to the current king of the coed mountain.

3.  Genzyme – Yup, I gotta be honest, after SBTS the Evil Empire is the team I least want to see in a playoff game.  Now this ranking only holds true IF Lawson is back for good.  Genzyme loses a lot of regular season games, because they play so many people.  Once the playoffs roll around, the bench players start to see less minutes and the starters rarely come off the floor.  Apologies to all the teams with better records that feel like you deserve this spot.  Genzyme worries me more than you do.

4.  Bulletproof Tigers – In a way I feel like this team is the West divisions version of the WOMS.  No superstars, just a group of steady ball players.  No weak links.  This is unquestionably the most talented group of females from top to bottom out West.

—Disclaimer—there are four more very good teams to be ranked, and frankly they are all reasonably equal.  Somebody has to be 7 and 8.  It’s impossible to do this without offending or disrespecting somebody, so deal with it.

5.  Monstars – The twin towers, Swecker and Witri are one of the best 1-2 punches in the either league.  This group certainly leads in alcohol intake and overly obnoxious swagger.  There isn’t a close second and that’s why I love them.

6.  Dizzy Llamas White – This team played us awfully tough the second time around.  Nibs and Pat make for a great inside outside combination.  I don’t quite put it on the level of the Monstars duo, but when Nibs is on, this team can hang with the top tier teams

7.  Dizzy Llamas Black – Reddick is probably the best player in either league, but even he can only take them so far if they play like this did this past Monday.  I think it goes to show that the importance of Phil’s presence can’t be understated.  If Aniela had stayed healthy this team could be a couple of spots higher

8.  Hide Ya Kids Hide Ya Wife – Apologies to my former teammates.  Maybe I shouldn’t be ranking them so low before we have to play them twice in a row, but it’s been a struggle without Rappoli.  This team could hypothetically finish the regular season below .500.  For what its worth though, they are probably closer to the 3rd and 4th ranked teams than the 9thranked team.  Within the top 8, anybody can beat anybody.

9.  Weapons Above The Rim Blouses – This team might be the strongest strategical team in the West.  They game plan as well as anybody and thanks to that it has earned them wins over the Monstars and DL Black.  This team is very good at stopping teams with one or two great players.  They struggle with the balanced squads like the Tigers, SBTS and the WOMS…

10 Dizzy Llamas Blue – This is the team I’ve seen the least of but they seem to have some real hustle players.  They still look like a team that has some serious gelling to do.

11.  Above The Rim Jobs – Nice win against HYKHYW last week, but without C-Boll this team just doesn’t concern me too much.  No disrespect to Boozer, Johanson, Dani & co, but they need that energy that either C-Boll or Celli brings.

12.  Wicket Smaht Ewoks – The good news is that this team has steadily improved all year.  The bad news is they started off REAL bad.  Lee has really helped bring the team together and now that they have a group of 8 or 9 consistent players they are a team that has the ability to put a scare into some of the leagues better teams (see DL Black)

13.  Boston Beer Company – This seems like a team that had the same problem as the Ewoks.  Tons of people at the beginning of the season and they are now starting to find a rotation that hopefully works.  They’ve got two really solid girls in Becky and Kaitlin.  To be honest I think those two could do some damage in the West Division

14.  Dizzy Llamas Green – This team just doesn’t have a serious secondary scoring threat.  Dave Grubb is a terrific shooter, but even the best shooter’s struggle when other teams know that you’re the only real scorer.  If he had an inside presence to take some attention away from him, he could be so much more effective and this team could be a lot better

Tibbs did this in B2 4 on 4, and it worked better because there are 36 teams, but using the rankings above, here is  my completely hypothetical All-coed tournament bracket

1.  Shirt Before The Shirt

16.  BYE

8.  Hide Ya Kids Hide Ya Wife 45

9.  Weapons Above The Rim Blouses 41

This game would be VERY close.  HYKHYW is a very STRONG 8 seed, but nobody knows them as well as Celli, and he can game plan with the best of them.  Ultimately Meg is too much on the block, and Nate Dogg draws enough attention to get Jane Stockton and Matty A. some open looks.  Antoine Dodson moves on to the next round.

4.  Bulletproof Tigers 65

13.  Boston Beer Company 40

The Beer Company does have enough shooters to get Slim Jim away from the hoops.  I blocked 4 or 5 shots against the BBC and I NEVER block shots.  Slim Jim would have 8-10 easily if he wanted…but then again he’s a big sensitive guy and doesn’t want me to call him a jackhole.

5.  Monstars 77

12.  Wicket Smaht Ewoks 48

I know everybody looks for the big upset in 5-12 matchups, but it just isn’t happening here.  These two teams have gone head to head twice and the combined margin of victory is somewhere around 70.  Sorry Ewoks…you’ve made great strides, but this is a bad matchup

6.  Dizzy Llamas White 61

11 Above the Rim Jobs 53

This is actually tonight’s matchup!  I know this is a boring bracket with all favorites winning so far, but there’s a reason for it.  I said there is a clear divide between the top 8 teams and the bottom and I meant it.  Might have to wait for round two for upsets.

3.  Genzyme 58

14.  Dizzy Llamas Green 31

Despite the final score this would be worth the price of admission.  We know how intense P-Mills gets.  Watching him battle in the post with Jeff, the guy from the Planet Fitness commercial would be priceless

7.  Dizzy Llamas Black 65

10.  Dizzy Llamas Blue 43

Reddick is fuming over being the 7 seed and droped 46 points, shooting 11 for 21 from three point range.  He also hit 7 of 7 from the line and made three buckets in the paint.  Sorry DL Blue.  You can blame me for this one

2. Weapons Of Mass Seduction

15.  BYE



1.  Shirt Before The Shirt 71

8.  Hide Ya Kids Hide Ya Wife 52

Another matchup actually taking place tonight.  Sorry Jane & co.  Losing Lauren was tough and I just don’t think there is enough offense to keep pace with the top seed here.  They are unbeaten for a season

4.  Bulletproof Tigers 54

5.  Monstars 55

There is no love lost between these teams and it’s a terrific matchup, but the Monstars seem to be peaking at the right time.  The Tigers rolled through the first half of the schedule, but now they can’t even get a full team together because they are off gallivanting around Vegas and going on vacation in the middle of a stretch run. All TJ is think about winning.  That’s what the Monstars will do.

3.  Genzyme 63

6.  Dizzy Llamas White 66

Everybody knows about Pat Brown and Nibs, but you can thank MATT ROBERTS for this win.  They needed to muscle up to stick against a physical Genzyme team and Matt Roberts and Nick Bruce give them the ability to do so.  This is a gritty DL team and find a way to keep Keith and Jeff off the boards

2.  Weapons Of Mass Seduction 68

7.  Dizzy Llamas Black 49

Well, we have the blueprint to stop Reddick, and the Reddick-stopper…ehhh Reddick-slower himself, Mr. Dave Celli.  However, Mike responds incredibly well to bulletin board material and I’ve given him TONS of it in the last 1,600 words, so I’ll change my score prediction to 68-63…WOMS still win



1. Shirt Before The Shirt 70

5.  Monstars 60

I believe that Swecker and Witri can matchup talent wise with any duo from any coed team…yup, even you Tommy and Tibbs…but the people around Tommy and Tibbs are pretty damn good to.  Loren is one of the best shooters in the league regardless of gender, Vig is an underrated rebounder scorer.  Everybody on this team can play, and everybody can hit from 16-18 if you give them the space to take the shot.  No disrespect to the other Monstar players…there is depth on this roster, just not that kind of depth

2.  Weapons Of Mass Seduction 63

6.  Dizzy Llamas White 55

Come on…did you really think this tournament was going to end any other way than WOMS vs SBTS?




I refuse to predict the outcome of this game.  Too superstitious, and I’ve been to and lost two coed championships already.  I’m not about to jinx another one.  This championship possibility may very well become a reality.  Stay tuned for details or call your local ticket master.



G – Tommy “RoY” Kahana (SBTS – E)

G – Dave Celli (WATRBs – W, WOMS – E)

G/F – “Apolo” Swecker (WATRBs – W)

F – Jason “Tibbs” Tibbetts (SBTS – E)

F – Mike “Reddick” (DLBA – W) – MVP



G – Loren Turner (SBTS – E) – MVP

G – Erin “EJ” Johnson (WOMS – E)

G/F – Gwen Browne (Genzyme – E)

F – Steph “Jinx” Cziria (WOMS – E)

F – Meg Driscoll (HYKHYW – E)



G – Dave Grubb (DLBU – E, DLG – W)

G – Nibs The Baller – (DLW – E)

G/F Mariano Ocampo Garcia (DLBU – E)

F – Micah Witri (Monstars – W)

F –Slim Jim Henderer (Tigers – W)



G – Sara Doherty (WOMS – E, WATRBs – W)

G – Jane Stockton (HYKHYW – E)

G/F – Captain Morgan (Tigers – W)

F – “Sweet Lu” Botelho (Tigers – W)

F – Ashley Wetherell (SBTS – E)



G – B-Dome Sloan (Tigers – W)

G – Jakeen Cobb (Genzyme – E)

G/F – Matt Roberts (DLW – E)

F – Nate Brigham (HYKHYW – E)

F – Pat Brown (DLW – E)


G – Alleigh Marré (Monstars – W)

G – Kaitlyn Hennigan (BBC – E)

G/F – Eileen Devlin (DLW – E)

F – Caitlin Tibbetts (SBTS – E)

F – Heather Marino (WOMS – E) 


In no particular order…Carissa Everett (DLW –E), Danielle Angelillo (WATRBs – W, ATJR – E), Becky Eastman (BBC – E), Jen Kuzmick (DLW – E),  Keith Schofield (Genzyme – E), Lee Stoiser (Ewoks – W), Ebon Kim (Ewoks – W), Rob Vigneau (SBTS – E), Rory Duyon (WOMS – E), Chris Johanson (WATRBs – W, ATRJ – E)


Aniela Liesman and Lauren Rappoli both deserve to be mentioned.  They would both be shoe-ins for the top 3 All Female teams if they didn’t get hurt.  Heal up soon ladies!