Co-Ed East Awards

By PMills

Most Outstanding Player (Male)- Matt Monroe (Wheels of Steel). Monroe has surrounded himself with a ton of talent, and continues to shine despite being on an undefeated team in perhaps the strongest Co-Ed division ever (this session’s West might have something to say about that, of course). The numbers are there (6th ppg; 8th rpg; 8th apg; 1st spg; 46.3 pr), and he’s probably the most complete player on the court of all 8 teams. He leads his squad and has one of the quickest change of direction moves that I’ve seen. Runners-up- Chris Boll (ATRJ); Matt Roberts (DLW); Tristan Mouligne (WoS).

Most Outstanding Player (Female)- Keri Downs (Wheels of Steel). When you look at her, if you hadn’t seen her play before, let’s just say she wouldn’t be your first pick on the playground. If, after you’ve seen her play, she isn’t your first pick on the playground (or anywhere else for that matter), you’re an idiot. (9.3 ppg; 3.8 apg (2nd) ; 2.6 spg (8th)). The thing to remember here is that she’s getting her stats on what is quite possibly the best co-ed team in CAC history. Her basketball IQ is exceptional, and if she’s made 10 bad decisions all season (playing every game), I’d be surprised.

MVP Male- Matt Roberts (Dizzy Llamas White). For this award, I considered the question, “which top-tier team would lose the most by losing just one player, and who would that player be?” The “Minotaur” provides an element that turns DL White into a contender, immediately. He’s consistent, he dominates the post, he leads the team, and puts up excellent numbers (5th ppg; 1st rpg). Whatever your team is, Roberts would make it better. (Runners up: Matt Monroe (WoS); Dave Celli (WoMS); Jakeen Cobb (Genzyme))

MVP Female- Lauren Kelly (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- Bursting onto the scene in her first season of Co-Ed, Lauren has given DL Purple an additional dimension, and essentially turned a team that was floundering early into one that threatened even the best teams in the division. Paraphrasing Rory Duyon, “She’s like Mariano Rivera. You know what he’s (she’s) going to do, you know how you want to hit it (stop it), but then you see the cut-fastball (lefty hook) and can’t hit it (stop it).” 8th in the league in ppg; 79% FT (2d). Forget being a mismatch on her own gender; she’s a mismatch for virtually all opposing post players. (Runners up: Courtney Schermerhorn (FF) Kelsey Simonds (FF); Gwen Browne (Genzyme)).

Most Improved (Male)- Paul Nimblett (DLP)- As the paradigm “effort guy,” there are few things I value more than someone trying to do everything they can to hone their craft. This is especially true when that someone is already loaded with talent. Such is the case with this year’s winner, who after returning from Vegas (returned in week 7), has played like a man possessed on defense. There are plenty of one-dimensional players out there that can spot up from three and chuck at a decent clip. Less that can do that and hit consistently; but only a select few that can do both and play suffocating defense, getting back on every play. If “Nibs” continues on this path, he will make a strong case for Most Outstanding/MVP next season.

Most Improved (Female)- Carissa Everett (DLW)- I’ve had the pleasure of watching “the Terminator” going from a Co-Ed afterthought to the epitome of “clutch.” Truth be told, she received her nickname from J-Zuk, a while back, for failing to convert (i.e. “terminating”) an easy lay-up. The funny thing is, same nickname now, but a totally different meaning. All “CE” does now is “terminate” the chances of opposing teams. I swear, once she developed that midrange baseline “j”, she hasn’t missed it. Always plays tough and heady defense, rarely makes a mistake (and curses herself out when she does). Absolutely carried Matt Roberts in the 2 v 2 Co-Ed tournament (he will attest). Now, if only we could get her to shoot a bit more…

East All-Offense Team (Male)-
C- Matt Roberts (Dizzy Llamas White)-Impossible to keep of the O-glass and scoreboard- can shoot up to midrange, too.
PF- Tristan Mouligne (Wheels of Steel)- Can just take games over at the flip of a switch. Hates me because I repeatedly snub him- probably works to his advantage because he plays better when he’s angry.
SF- Jakeen Cobb (Genzyme)- Puts up all-star numbers, while trying for about half the game. Best during “winning time.”
SG- Paul Nimblett (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- over 40% this season from three on 79 attempts! True sniper. You really need to feed him the ball when he’s “on.”
PG- Chris Boll (Above the Rim Jobs)- MVP/MOP candidate on a 2-7 squad. ‘Nuff said?
6th Man- Mark Claffey (Dizzy Llamas White)- Can score points in bunches from anywhere on the court. Big reason why DL White got as far as they did.

East All-Offense Team (Female)
C- Kelsey Simonds (Femme Fatale)- Great all-around player, consistent, tough and outstanding post moves. Would have been an all star in either league.
PF- Meg Driscoll– (Femme Fatale)- Natural on-court leader, excellent post moves, great finisher.
SF- Lauren Kelly (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- See above. Haven’t I gushed enough?
SG- Erin Johnson (Weapons of Mass Seduction)- Joke all you want about her free throw stance- it’s more accurate than anyone else’s. Also, can drive to the hoop, shoot from range, and do just about everything else.
PG- Courtney Schermerhorn (Femme Fatale)- Ms. Clutch is always there when you need a point or three. She scores a lot, but scores most when it’s most needed.
6th (Wo)man- Loren Turner (Wheels of Steel)- When she’s on, she’s one of the best shooters from distance in the league. 8-10 last week in the Co-Ed West Semis from 3!

East All-Defense Team (Male)-
C- Pat Brown (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- Just imagine what his stats’d have been if I hadn’t missed them all!
PF Nick Altschuller (Wheels of Steel)- Plays with the effort of a little guy in a big guy’s body.
SF- Nate Brigham (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- Excellent reaction/coordination; can successfully defend all five positions; great worker.
SG-Garrett Tingle (Genzyme)- tremendous hustle and energy; gets to balls he has no business getting. Difference-maker.
PG-Dave Celli (Weapons of Mass Seduction)- There’s not a stat for “shut your man down.” If there was, Celli’d lead the league in it.
6th man- Rory Duyon (Weapons of Mass Seduction)- Does everything right and makes his teammates better; excellent passion and technique in the post to outwork larger players.

East All-Defense Team (Female)-
C- Kelsey Simonds (Femme Fatale)- I wanted to “spread the wealth” here, but couldn’t justify it. 2nd in the league in blocks, 15th in rebounds. Too dominant to exclude.
PF- Danielle Angelillo (Above the Rim Jobs)- plays “mean” in the post, and I mean that in a good way.
SF- Heather Marino (Weapons of Mass Seduction)- the only time Heather will be listed at “small” forward in her life- top 4 in blocks per game.
SG- Sara Jo Roberts (Above the Rim Jobs)- Was the only person in Co-Ed able to limit Jakeen Cobb. I don’t think I need to go further than that.
PG- Sara Doherty (Weapons of Mass Seduction)- great lateral movement, first step. Very good at shutting down the perimeter.
6th (Wo)man- Keri Downs (Wheels of Steel)- complete player; in her element on the defensive (as well as offensive) end of the floor- 8th in spg.

“All-Snub/Incredible Hulk” Award-Tristan Mouligne (Wheels of Steel)- I know, I know. Look at all of his stats in limited action on a superstar team. And damn, can he ball when he’s angry. When he’s not (or when he’s abroad, sailing the English Channel or something), “Pegasus” is generally content to launch uncontested shots from three. Nice guy, fierce competitor when he wants to be.

“Type-O-Positive” Award- Nate Brigham (Dizzy Llamas Purple)- Most unselfish player in the league, without question, maybe ever. Could easily score 15 per if he wanted to. What the “Universal Donor” wants to do is make your game better, whoever you are. He’ll grab rebounds (6th in league); steal the ball (7th in league); block shots (1st in league) and drop “dimes” (1st in league). The only quintuple-double threat I’ve ever seen in co-ed, and if I were putting together a team, the first person I’d pick for it.

“Billie Jean King” Award- Alleigh Marré (Femme Fatale)- Much like the award namesake (, Marré took on the challenge of showing the men of Co-Ed that an all-woman’s team could be successful, without any special treatment. For awhile, it looked as if close to victory was going to have to suffice for Alleigh’s brainchild Femme Fatale, until the last regular-season game of the session, where the y-chromosome was finally defeated, in dramatic fashion nonetheless. If you want to learn to ride a bike, you just keep practicing, and then you can be happy of yourself. That is the lesson of the Femme Fatale, who I very much hope return next session.

“LA Express” Award- Jakeen Cobb (Genzyme)/ Dave Celli (Weapons of Mass Seduction)/ Dave Boll (Above the Rim Jobs) These players take you coast-to-coast faster than anybody. Don’t blink, or you’ll miss the bucket the other way.

“Paging Dr. Evil” Award- Christopher Harvey (Weapons of Mass Seduction) All season, we heard rumors of Evil Harvey being unleashed, but we totally got gypped. All Harvey was was a nice guy and fierce smiling warrior in the post, albeit clearly a point-shaving nice guy and fierce smiling warrior in the post. No nasty streak anywhere to be found. Lame. Sidenote- I think his influence is softening EJ, too. Double Lame. Will somebody please kick Harvey in the groin so we can get a little angry?

The “Allstate” Award- Kristin Mraz (Femme Fatale)- Quick with a helping hand and “accident forgiveness,” Mraz is often the quarterback of the most fundamentally sound team in the league. Her “good hands” issued assists at a 3.7 per game clip (only behind Brigham and Downs) this season.

“Mama Said…” Award- Loren Turner (Wheels of Steel). Don’t call it a comeback, she’s been here for years…. And don’t call her, well, you know…

The “6:30 p.m.” Award- Jakeen Cobb (Genzyme)- Since we know Genzyme only plays the first game of the evening, 6:30 or so is the time that Cobb decides to “show up” (even though he plays the first half usually). But my goodness, when he does start to care/play/whatever, he’s usually the best player on the court, no matter who the opponent. Did you see him drop 17 in the second half of an All Star Game?

“Deadlines? What Deadlines?” Award- PMills (CAC Staff)- I know how much you all love your write-ups, and I just can’t bring myself to giving you less than my best (you should see what passes for a write up in some of the other leagues), but failing to get them out at times (especially late in the season) was really letting you all down. For that, I am really sorry. I’m going to get better at the timeliness part of it, hopefully without sacrificing any of the quality that I think (and hope) you all enjoy. Mea cupla, all. Not everybody can be Co-Ed Scorekeeper of the Year, Rory Duyon.

Unsung Heroes/Hustle Award– You are unheralded, unapplauded. Yet you bring it every game. We all know it’s only Co-Ed recreational basketball, but you play it like it actually is. Every play, every week is the CAC Championships:

Wheels of Steel- Justine Hill
Dizzy Llamas White- Jen Kuzmick
Dizzy Llamas Purple- Keith Kantor
Weapons of Mass Seduction- Christopher Harvey
Genzyme- Julio Pacheco
Dizzy Llamas Orange- Dan Leahy
Above the Rim Jobs- Erica McCrea
Femme Fatale- Rebecca Pelletier

All P-Mills Team- This is the squad I’d happy take into the heart of “The D” and ball against the toughest MFers you could find, after a quick trip through the metal detector, or hell, that is. Not a single member of these squads has or will ever give up, no matter what the odds. No blood, no foul? No problem…

1st Team
C- Matt Roberts (DLW)
PF- Nate Brigham (DLP)
SF- Rory Duyon (WoMS)
SG- Loren Turner (WoS)
PG- Courtnery Schermerhorn (FF)
6th man- Bryan Arndt (WoS)

2nd Team
C- Nick Altschuler (WoS)
PF- Luana Bothelo (FF)
SF- Chris Angelillo (ATRJs)
SG- Nick Hogan (DLO)
PG- Nick Bruce (DLW)
6th Man-Pat Lawson (Genzyme)

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