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A-Draft Week 1 lines + Intro
Topic Rating: +1 Topic Rating: +1 (3 votes) 
January 21, 2020
3:56 pm
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Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Winter 2020 season of A-Draft. When I sit back and reminisce on my illustrious CAC career, the year 2019 stands out as a highlight. Capping off the decade by winning championships in the highest-level league (A 5v5), the most grueling tournament in all of rec basketball (B2 5v5 unification) and finally fulfilling my promise to the fans and to the board of executives by hanging a championship banner high up in the Corporate rafters (A-Draft). Decades come and go but that banner will fly for all eternity.

Unfortunately for those of us in the Corporate world, it’s not so much “what have you done for me lately?” as many simpletons would have you believe. You see, those of us who seek to achieve, grow, and innovate are constantly asking the real question; “what can you do for me NEXT?”

So, as I turn the pages on past performance and look towards the future, I feel a frisson of excitement for what stands before us in the week 1 slate of games. Especially since I can sit back, watch, analyze, taunt, pontificate and most importantly spend 3 hours reminding you all that I am the CHAMP and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it.

 

Redeem Team (Lyon) vs. Flight Crew (Pendergast)

Coming off a final’s loss is always a tough position to be in. Luckily for Lyon he has Kap to hold his hand and walk him through this difficult time. Kap is nothing if not experienced in such matters! Speaking of experience, Lyon drafted a team full of it. They are also full of talent and ripe with potential chemistry issues. He missed a golden opportunity to name his team “the KKK” with all 3 grand wizards of locker room Kancer: Keith, Kofi and Kap. Distasteful jokes aside, they are the best team on paper*. Pendergast’s team has neither winning experience, nor talent, plus they have similar locker room issues! This is going to be a fun game. Give me Redeem Team -6.5

 

Boardman Gets Paid (Billy) vs. Team Lock Down (Brandon)

Billy’s string of dreadful, un-creative team names has perfectly coincided with the dreadful, un-creative, and delightfully unsuccessful run he’s had in CAC basketball since the retirement of his best friend and former lover Khalid. The Flint Tropics dynasty is but a distant memory. It’s a shame Billy’s daughter will never get to experience her daddy win a championship. Its ok Quinn, you can come watch old Uncle Mazz whip daddy’s ass any Tuesday night. Speaking of ass whippings, I expect Brandons team to receive their fair share this season. They lack size other than Sydorko, and with Marc as the lead guard/scoring threat it’s a team more suited to win in 2009 not 2020. Boardman Gets Paid – 4.5

 

The Crab Boys (Roberts) vs. A47A47 (Kelley)

Roberts vs Kelley aka the 1998 Utah Jazz vs the 1998 Utah Jazz. This is season 5 or 6 of the reincarnated version of A-Draft and these two have drafted the exact same team for most of them. Roberts is running it back with Kevin Swecker who somehow keeps avoiding the random drug testers I keep incessantly sending to his home and his workplace at all hours of the day. I guess this league doesn’t care about the integrity of the game because if we did, he would not be allowed to blatantly take steroids. Joining them this season is Mr. Vladi Nechev.
Based on some of the chatter from the B (trash) leagues the real Vladi died years ago during an argument in Bulgaria so I’m interested to see who’s standing behind him ala; weekend at Bernie’s. My money is on Ben Goldman! Kelley’s motley crew is almost by definition a lesser version of his previous teams. Of course hes got Struck and @Walsh as a backbone but usually there's at least a 4th starter who can score and create matchup problems. I don’t see that guy this season. Ill take Crab Boys -3.5

The Corporation - A Draft F19 | Spida Men - A 5v5 F19 | First Streets Finest - B2 5v5 Unification F19 | Friends and Family Connection - SDL W19 | This Finna be a Breeze - SDL F18 | The Corporation - B2 5v5 Unification W18 | Weapons of MAZZ Destruction - SDL F16 | Dad's Never Home - A 5v5  S15 | Dad's Never Home - B1 5v5 Unification W15 | Quantam Leap - SDL W15 | 7th Floor Crew - A draft F14 | Gotta Get Got - Franchise League S14 | Rookies of the Year- B1 5v5 Unification W13 | Corp CEO | Harvard | 63 points 7/25/14 | 85 points 11/23/19

January 21, 2020
4:04 pm
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After blowing away my intro with what could also be the start to a great autobiography, Mazz has spoken. Please  get in an orderly line when kissing his ass tonight.

3x Co-Ed champ/sexy and I know it, SHOTS, sexy and I know

1x Franchise champ/people of Walmart

1x B1 champ/love me sexy

1x B2 champ/corporation

January 21, 2020
6:02 pm
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Ben Goldman! What a reference!

Boardmen have no choice but to win tonight. Katy has given me an ultimatum that I must I win tonight to rectify the shame brought upon our family name in this post. Time to get paid! Buckets buckets.

9x CAC champion, 2x finals mvp, Nick Mazzeo's biological father

January 22, 2020
2:36 pm
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Week 1 Thoughts and Questions:

1) How many games is Mazz missing?  They aren't winning next week without him.  How many weeks can they survive w/o him and still make the playoffs?

2) How many weeks will Vladi continue trying to push the trend of wearing shorts that are shorter than his underwear?  Its a bold look.  I'll just leave it at that.

3) Will this finally be the season that Pat Kelley goes through puberty?

4) Team Lock Down can expect ~2 Bonkers Yeakley Games per season and they wasted 1 of them this week.  That could spell trouble for them.

5) Is Ryan Hof.... good?

9x CAC champion, 2x finals mvp, Nick Mazzeo's biological father

January 22, 2020
3:18 pm
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action781 said
Week 1 Thoughts and Questions:

5) Is Ryan Hof.... good?  

How is this still a question? With all due respect to Mazz, Keith, and a few others I’m sure I’m forgetting he’s the best scorer in the league. I think the question is how much we can do around him. No moral victories, but I thought early returns were promising. We hung with that team for the majority of the night before visibly running out of gas. Keith is a handful. 

January 22, 2020
4:34 pm
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dpendergast said

How is this still a question? With all due respect to Mazz, Keith, and a few others I’m sure I’m forgetting he’s the best scorer in the league. I think the question is how much we can do around him. No moral victories, but I thought early returns were promising. We hung with that team for the majority of the night before visibly running out of gas. Keith is a handful.   

This isn’t a question, Hof is a really good player. His defense is bad, ex. Keith 29 points, but his offense far outweighs his defense, especially if you know how to play with him, which I think Noel will figure out. My team played much better in the second half than the first but congrats to David for drafting a team of guys who, except for Jesse, look exactly the same running down the court on the fast break. Especially when you play in the condition I do. Lol

3x Co-Ed champ/sexy and I know it, SHOTS, sexy and I know

1x Franchise champ/people of Walmart

1x B1 champ/love me sexy

1x B2 champ/corporation

January 22, 2020
4:52 pm
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In r

keith.baranowski said

This isn’t a question, Hof is a really good player. His defense is bad, ex. Keith 29 points, but his offense far outweighs his defense, especially if you know how to play with him, which I think Noel will figure out. My team played much better in the second half than the first but congrats to David for drafting a team of guys who, except for Jesse, look exactly the same running down the court on the fast break. Especially when you play in the condition I do. Lol  

In retrospect, “Team Wonder Bread” may have been a more fitting team name for us. Just the most milquetoast group of white guys that one could possibly assemble. 

January 22, 2020
5:21 pm
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dpendergast said
In r

In retrospect, “Team Wonder Bread” may have been a more fitting team name for us. Just the most milquetoast group of white guys that one could possibly assemble.   

I thought this was a dope comment until i Googled the meaning

January 22, 2020
6:25 pm
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action781 said
4) Team Lock Down can expect ~2 Bonkers Yeakley Games per season and they wasted 1 of them this week.  That could spell trouble for them.

We had half our team last night and still had a chance to win despite no subs and some very poor decision making by me in the second half. I think we'll be okay. 

January 22, 2020
6:40 pm
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action781 said
Week 1 Thoughts and Questions:

5) Is Ryan Hof.... good?  

lol no. He sucks

keith.baranowski said

This isn’t a question, Hof is a really good player. His defense is bad, ex. Keith 29 points, but his offense far outweighs his defense, especially if you know how to play with him, which I think Noel will figure out. My team played much better in the second half than the first but congrats to David for drafting a team of guys who, except for Jesse, look exactly the same running down the court on the fast break. Especially when you play in the condition I do. Lol  

I get confused who I am half the time with this team. 

Stat Hore

 

*2x THE Franchise League Champion*
              S'18 | F'18

January 22, 2020
7:08 pm
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_Hof_ said 

lol no. He sucks

keith.baranowski said
This isn’t a question, Hof is a really good player. His defense is bad, ex. Keith 29 points, but his offense far outweighs his defense, especially if you know how to play with him, which I think Noel will figure out. My team played much better in the second half than the first but congrats to David for drafting a team of guys who, except for Jesse, look exactly the same running down the court on the fast break. Especially when you play in the condition I do. Lol  

I get confused who I am half the time with this team.   

Yeah when you pass the ball. Lol

3x Co-Ed champ/sexy and I know it, SHOTS, sexy and I know

1x Franchise champ/people of Walmart

1x B1 champ/love me sexy

1x B2 champ/corporation

January 27, 2020
2:41 pm
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Write ups posted on the league page. I'll post them here too. Power Rankings/Lines tomorrow morning

 

Redeem Team 84  Flight Crew 76

Redeem Team survives Hof’s attempted assault and battery

Lyon and crew began the season with a solid win against the suddenly interesting looking Flight Crew team. Hof was on fire for the middle part of the game, exposing a weakness in the Redeem Team roster (guard defense). 2015 Kap aint walking through that door! Luckily, they made an adjustment and put Kofi on him which worked. Redeem team also exposed Flight Crews lack of interior defense by feeding Keith the ball and letting him ransack the opposing defense to the tune of 20 points in the paint. That ultimately was the difference in the game along with Kofi jumping them out to a hot start.

Grades

Kap (C) – 10 assists is nice, but Kap needs to hit his 3s for this team to contend. Kap has totally embraced the facilitator role to an almost Rondo-esque level of specifically looking for passes that will generate an assist. He’s not quite at that dangerous level yet

Lyon (C+) – Is Lyon expecting a better grade? Because if he is, I’m disappointed in him. He should be better than a rim runner/rebounder at this point. His offensive development seems stunted and he’s not the force at the rim on defense that we all expect him to be. Other than 1 flashy block I didn’t see him changing shots or altering them. I expect more

Cavano (B-) – You saw flashes of good (relentless hustle, timely basket cuts, opportunistic defense) and flashes of bad (turnovers, rushed shots, forcing the issue). Cavano can make or break them with his decision making. If he lets the game come to him and plays under control hes a stellar bench guy in A draft.

Kofi (A) – He gets the bump from B to A solely for his second half defense on Ryan Hof. He did an awesome job of staying low, keeping his hands up and not biting on the many head fakes and hesi’s that Hof threw at him. Offensively Kofi took what came to him and didn’t try to force anything. Very solid game from Kofi

Zikaras (B) – Teams are still determined to post up Zikaras against smaller players to try to take advantage of the mismatch despite his low success rate doing so.

Keith (A) – Dominant blue-collar effort from the Red Baron. Flight Crew couldn’t stop him. For a serially unemployed guy, Keith was out there putting in work!

Hof (A) – He balled out. Plain and simple. If he can be this efficient going forward, he will be a superstar in A-Draft. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been able to be as consistently efficient at this level of competition, which is why his teams have never contended for a championship

Pendergast (A-) – I liked what I saw from Dave. He’s sneaky a top 5 athlete in the league, able to create separation against just about anyone and he can elevate and finish at the rim. His squad probably needs more from him on the defensive glass though

Joel Shaffer (B+) – One thing that stood out to me watching from the scorers table was Joels help defense. He consistently stepped into the lane to prevent easy drives by Lyon, Kap, Kofi etc. That doesn’t show up in the box score, but it mattered. After a big offensive season with Lyons team, his shots per game will likely go down next to Hof. Finding a way to help them win on defense is key.

Ryan Noel (B-) – I thought Ryan could have played better. He’s a rookie so I’m still figuring out his game, but he looked like a contributor. I just don’t know if he can be the #1 big for a contender.

Jesse (A-) – He had some big plays especially in the first half. He’s another guy where picking his spots and letting the game come to him will be key to his team’s success. He is a pest on defense and constantly finding a nose for the ball. I like him attacking the rim rather than settling for 3s

 

Boardman Gets Paid 83  Team Lock Down 77

Board Man almost misses payroll

Billy has to be breathing a sigh of relief after barely edging out an undermanned Lock Down team missing Marc Leblanc and David Adubi. Yeakley was absolutely unconscious from the field, nailing his patented Kobe turnaround J (RIP Mamba) and lighting up the porous defense from beyond the arc. Seriously how do you let him walk into at least 8 or 9 uncontested 3s from straight on? Numerous times I watched as the defender went under a screen against Yeakley. That falls on the “coach” which is what Billy fancies himself. Luckily Lock Down did not live up to their name on the defsnsive end, and scoring came quite easily for Marc, Jmul and rookie sensation Jacob. Even Billy and Jenco were getting to the hoop at times! I expect Billy’s team to contend but they have to find defensive scheme or else they’ll need to get 90 every night.

Grades

MGW (A-) – It kills me to see him playing for Billy. The Hyphen did it all and yet as well as he plays his well-rounded, stat stuffing box score always seems to surprise me. He impacts the game on so many levels both offensively and defensively. He does get a minus for going under a screen against Yeakley.

Billy (B-) – He gets docked a grade level or 2 for not coming up with a Yeakley stopper and almost losing this game.

Jacob (A) – Good debut for Jacob. You can tell he has played the game at a high level, possibly college D3/D2. He always found himself in the right spot because he knows how to space the floor. He’s still getting his feet wet and I expect some big games from him this season. He’ll be right up there in the league leaders for 3pt and scoring.

Jmul (A) – Jmul cleaned that glass like Billy used to clean Khalids cock. I had him for only 2 offensive boards which is a travesty of stat-keeping because he had at least 5 or 6. Ill correct that.

Jenco (B-) – If Jenco would just abandon the idea that he is a 3 point shooter and focus on going to the hoop he would be a really useful offensive player. He had a few drives/finishes at the rim tonight that looked downright Mazz-ian!

Brandon (C+) – Tough night for Brandon. I liked what I saw from him last season, as bad as his team was. He’s got a quick first step and a smooth jumper when he is set. He can guard just about anyone too. However tonight he looked like a guy that just wanted to chuck off the dribble 3s and take possessions off on defense.

Sydorko (A-) – Mike played well but instead I’m going to focus on his very obvious offensive flopping. Mike cut it out man. Its not a good look for a guy who would probably be the one to come out alive if we stuck the whole league in an Octagon. You aren’t getting fouled when you throw your hands up like that

Yeaks (A) – I think if Yeaks joined the over 40 league (he is over 40 I think) he would average 70 per game. Maybe 80. He’s become very Fermon like in that it doesn’t really matter what the defender is doing, if he’s “on” the shot is going in from anywhere in the gym.

 

The Crab Boys 47  A47A47 30

Crab boys impose a second Irish Potato famine on A47

Fun fact: The worst year of the Irish Potato famine was 1847

Is it too early to panic at A47 headquarters? 30 points must be a franchise record low for PK + friends. Sure, you can say they were missing Struck but given Strucks attendance history I think you can expect 5-6 games out of him. After seeing them without him you can mark the next 3-4 he misses as losses. As bad as A47 looked I wasn’t that impressed by Crab Boys. This was an ugly game and while Roberts and co are no stranger to winning ugly games, they’ll have to figure something out on the offensive end. Ganley gave them a nice spark which is probably what allowed them to remain ahead. 11 points combined from Swecker and Vladi isn’t going to get the job done.

Grades

Vladi (C+) – Am I grading Vladi too harshly at this stage of his cacreer? Probably. He didnt do anything badly, but he also didnt do a whole lot on the positive side either. There was still some life in those old Russian legs which was nice to see.

Kerr (A) - He led the team in scoring and rebounding which is exactly what you hope for. I think he might actually live at the MLK school because he was the first one in the gym for the early game. Oh and after the game I saw him brushing his teeth in the boys bathroom..

Roberts (A-) – He gets in the A range for a typical Roberts quote "I know im always out of shape but man...I'm especially out of shape right now". You and Kap both buddy.

Swecker (C+) - I thought he was going to dominate agaisnt the Struckless lineup. Instead he didnt really exert himself a whole lot. He must be tired from breastfeeding his daughter.

Ganley (A-) - He gave them just the spark on offense that they needed to win this low scoring game. Ganley is secretly or not so secretly every captains favorite role player. Every captain including myself heaped praise on him at some point Tuesday night.

Kelley + Walsh (F) - The only way to describe their performance from 3 point range  - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Famine_(Ireland)

Colin (C+) - With Kelley and Walsh LARPing their way back to 1847, Colin had a chance to step up and pick up the scoring slack. He did not succeed. Colin needs to find a way to get easy offense for his team when the chances come.

Tom (B) -Tom was a bright spot for A47. He gobbled up 5 offensive boards and swatted a few shots on the other end. A47 didnt take advantage of his performance but it shouldnt be forgotten nonetheless.

Gill (B) - Quiet game from Mike. Granted he makes his money on the densive side and they only gave up 47 points. Some of that was defense and a lot of it was the painfully slow pace of play that Pat Kelley+Matt Roberts teams often impose upon their opponents.

The Corporation - A Draft F19 | Spida Men - A 5v5 F19 | First Streets Finest - B2 5v5 Unification F19 | Friends and Family Connection - SDL W19 | This Finna be a Breeze - SDL F18 | The Corporation - B2 5v5 Unification W18 | Weapons of MAZZ Destruction - SDL F16 | Dad's Never Home - A 5v5  S15 | Dad's Never Home - B1 5v5 Unification W15 | Quantam Leap - SDL W15 | 7th Floor Crew - A draft F14 | Gotta Get Got - Franchise League S14 | Rookies of the Year- B1 5v5 Unification W13 | Corp CEO | Harvard | 63 points 7/25/14 | 85 points 11/23/19

January 27, 2020
8:09 pm
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A- for Pendergast? Damn your expectations must have been quite low!

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January 29, 2020
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goonies hey you guys GIFImage Enlarger

which one of you jabronis forgot your basketball sneakers at the gym last night

"My P.O. telling me I need a 9 to 5
But I already got a job, and that's staying alive"

January 30, 2020
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Sydorko said
goonies hey you guys GIFImage Enlarger

which one of you jabronis forgot your basketball sneakers at the gym last night  

I think I did!  Texting you now

9x CAC champion, 2x finals mvp, Nick Mazzeo's biological father

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