February 29, 2000

You shouldnít have, really…Obviously with February 29th coming up the Commish has decided to throw me a party at Tommy Doyles this Friday night to celebrate the exact date of my hiring 8 years ago.  If only sugar were as sweet as you!

Thatís right, holding down the same job for exactly 1/3rd of my life is pretty impressive considering my 1st grade teacher never thought I would amount to anything due to my constant glue sniffing, affinity for paste consumption, and all out propensity for dueshbaggery.  Just like reaching any milestone (if you qualify doing nothing with your life for 8yrs), you sit back and reflect on your life to see how life has changed and at the same time, stayed the same.

When I started working here, it was a different time.  A time I like to call the pre-9/11 days.  Oh, what a glorious time to be a teenager in America.  There were lollipop trees and gumdrop clouds as far as the eye could see.  It was back when a teen could get on a plane with a ball point pen without getting cavity searched by the TSA. (At least the man with the rubber glove could heat his hands up first).  Back when a teen could use his cell phone to solicit phone sex without worrying about big brother detaining him for 3 days because it turns out the 900 number was an Al-Qaeda front.  (Worst 3 days of my life.  Whoever said Quantanamo Bay is the Monte Carlo of the Caribbean did not stay where I had to.)

As a nation, we were about to welcome in the 8 yr abortion I like to call the George W. era as we saw Oleí Billy Clinton exit stage left, but not before firing off a couple knuckle-children on any white house skankís dress that was in front of him.  If CSI has taught us anything, always clean up your mess, leave nothing behind!   Soon I was entering my senior year in high school, which coincided with the first ever CAC league in the new era.  Little did I know, my life would never be the same.

The gym was going through its glory days.  The bar, which is now the group exercise room, was struggling to say the least, but it was still there and open to employees (Score for a baby-faced underage hoodlum like myself who had a better chance losing my V card to girl I didnít pay than scoring booze).  The employees were as colorful as an episode of Hee-Haw with special guest Charlie Manson.  Joey Diesel, Amy Williams, the Commish before he was the Commish all made working here a riot.  They welcomed me in as one of the elite weekend Towel Barons, who had no problem picking up dirty towels that you snooty bastards were and still are too lazy to place in the white receptacles 3 feet away, which is to say when the front desk actually allows you to take a towel now-a-days.  The weekend horse games where I was schooled in the art of the wall shots/dunks.  The standard Bertucciís delivery that seemed to make me ìloseî my wallet every time the delivery guy showed up (thanks to all who ponied up for me, I swear it was weird how my wallet kept mysteriously vanishing.  Definitely a case for Mulder and Scully).

Over the past few years, I have seen the regularís in the basketball league go through many changes as well:  Iíve seen the Wolverine retire and make comebacks to A1 more than Jordan.  (Strangely, his cat is still alive.  The first time I saw it I only gave it a year or two before it had a heart attack.  Although the Wolverine sports a stellar six pack, apparently heís never brought his cat through his religious Monday/Tuesday/Saturday ab routine.)   Iíve seen the domestication of many a greats.  (R.I.P Mixtape, the Commish, Arnie).  Iíve seen the resurgence of a select few back into the singles market (BRip the throne has been waiting for you.  JRod its long overdue). Welcome back gentlemen!  Needless to say, the plethora of characters that have influenced this league (Commish, Wolverine, Diesel, Traveling Jim, GP, MixTape, Tibbs, Fizzle etc the list is exhaustive…) truly have made work an unexplainable and comedic delight.  Not to mention the ladies league injecting some serious flavor into this previous sausage fest known as CAC.

As far as yours truly, itís funny, not a lot has changed in my life.  I live in the same place (insert any of the ìyou still live with your parents jokesî), I work at the same place (no longer a Towel Baron but now a marked official and mildly amusing blogger/writer upper), I am still a student (chicks dig big bank accounts right?  They donít care if its in red ink though right?), and have gone through a slew of girlfriends only to fall back to square one, single, with no prospects in the immediate sight (OnlineBuddies here I come).

So this Friday come on down to Tommy Doyles to take part in the first annual Tical 8 yr working in the same place celebration.  Sadly, this could be the highlight in my life….

Knock on the door.  Tibbs hands me a note.  I glance it over.

Ok, apparently this is just a League Nite Out and not my party, but you should come anyways.  Its the thought that counts, thank you all, even if it was only my thought.