Guess Whose Back with a Brand New Track – RoY

Tical’s Corner – RoY part duexxx

Today’s guest is no stranger to the Corner or to CAC.  He has been a CAC staple for the last several years, a great teammate of mine, and the proprietor of allegedly, “the best run league at CAC, the Sunday Hungover League.”

Tommy, it’s a pleasure to have you back in the Corner…

Thank you O’Cal for having me again. I see the basement hasn’t changed much, although I do like the newly added pictures of Brooklyn Decker from the SI swimsuit issue. I have the exact same ones on my wall at home next to all my Tommy Points.

Yeah, but I bet yours has lot less stains on it, but that is neither here nor there.  We at CAC need to hear from you as you have recently returned to action after being sidelined by a fractured foot for over a month.  As a man who is an admitted shot-addict, please tell us how bad the detox was from your “jumper addiction” this past month?  Any dry heaves, chills, late night trembling, sub-conscious right arm extensions?

Wow, I have to tell you that was the longest 6 week stretch. You’d think Mrs RoY would have been happy to have me around every night, but in fact she was miserable and is excited to have me back out of the house. It has made the transition back a lot easier as the lady has not only encouraged me back, but forced me to make an early return. I’m not sure why she doesn’t want me home, but I’ll take it.

Women are a crazy breed.  I still don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.  Now that you are back, if the powers at be set up a 3pt contest between you and Kaplan, who comes out as the top trey chucker?

I’m obviously going to take myself. I’m the wily veteran and I’m pretty sure I can get into Kaplan’s head. I mean, how hard could it be, just antagonize him about not passing the ball enough and he’ll get flustered. Obviously I don’t pass either, but at least I’m comfortable with it. He’s still out there trying to prove he’s a great team player. Being a team player is greatly overrated.

I would love to see you and the young buck go toe-to-toe.  The powers at be need to set it up.  Since the only day he doesn’t play is Sunday’s, maybe we should set something up.  Speaking you Sundays, why is your baby, the Sunday Hungover League the “best” run league at CAC?

Aside from me running the league?   Well I actually have to thank you guys for making this league run so well. It has truly been a pleasure working for you guys because I sense you guys sincerely appreciate my efforts. We certainly don’t have some of the loud mouths that other leagues have, but we have plenty of personalities and I have a sense they’ll start coming out more and more as the league continues to develop.

 Who are your personal fave’s in the Sunday League (besides yours truly of course)?

 Well, that’s stating the obvious. If you’ve ready my v-day lines you’d know my feelings about you, but there are a few others I truly enjoy. JHend of Cold Blooded has been an absolute pleasure to cover. The guy’s game is sick (which you’ll see first hand this weekend) and doesn’t get enough respect. He’s also increased his banter on the forms and personally through GChat. Another one is Morgan of Hungover. All year long I’ve gone back and forth with him about the league, stats and hoops.

What was your reaction to the Inaugural CAC Hall of Fame induction?

 I think it’s one of the best things CAC’s ever done, aside from appointing me the owner of the Sunday league. I’m glad it’s not just based on hoop skills or championships (which I lack in both) but also weigh the character you bring to CAC. I think it might give me a shot someday.

Who should be the very NEXT person honored to be enshrined in CAC Lore.

 There was a guy who helped me get introduced to CAC that I think is a must for the next ballot. He’s been a mainstay in the hollowed walls of CAC, he’s multiple titles but most importantly he owns Tibbs!! It’s non other than Mazzy Maz, Jon “I’m in the” Mazzone. I’ll never tell him this in person, but he’s a clear first ballot, or I guess in this case, next ballot hall of famer.

 Wow, a vote for Mazzy.  And for the record, I did NOT influence RoY’s choice.

What is wrong with the Celtics?

 How long do you have? They’re old, injury prone and missing their shots…..wait, that sounds an awful lot like me. Anyways, they need to get younger because I think their window is closing fast. I would have liked to have seen Kevin Martin here but I’m still holding out hope that PP opts out of his contract and then we have a shot and the cash at LeBron. Hey, I can dream…..

 What was your immediate reaction when you heard Boner died from the 80’s hit show, “Growing Pains” died?  Favorite “Boner” moment?

 Well my initial reaction was “wow, I can’t believe this guy was still around”. You never want to see anything bad happen to people but I just fully expected something bad to happen to him years ago. All that money and fame at an early age could go to your head…which is why the league bosses continue to keep us down. Clearly Josh and Tibbs have thought this one out and are looking out for our best interests.   What about you?

 My Favorite “Boner” moment was when I found out I could have one.

I hear that!

 I meant, when I found out I could have a best friend to dump on and treat like an idiot.

I hate when you talk about Tibbs like that.

 Is there any sporting event or playoff system better than March Madness?

Not one bit. Last year I purchased the DirecTV March Madness package and it was the greatest thing ever. There really isn’t anything better than watching ever game in the tourney. I will be doing the same this year and might even extend an invite to a teammate or two.

 How does Tiger Woods right the ship?

Listen, I don’t condone what he did, it’s gross and inappropriate for a married guy (so I guess he can still be your idol for a while) to act that way, but it’s not like he cheated the game like ARod or Manny. What he is going through is a personal issue and as long as he hasn’t cheated the game, I could care less about his personal life and it’s none of my business.

All the man has to do is come back, say how sorry he is (not while reading a piece of paper), and WIN.  If the man continues to win, all will be forgiven.  America loves the comeback story.  Plus, it wouldn’t hurt if he stopped texting.  Learn from drug dealers and Mafioso alike, get a “buffer” if you are going to bang porno stars and other trashy whuuuuuuworrrres.  Where was his caddy in all this?!?  That’s what a caddy is for!

Tommy, you have won championships, 3 on 3 Tourney’s, and now run the “best” league at CAC.  What else is there to accomplish?

Well I learned from a few current teammates of mine that you can never have enough championships, so my quest continues.  But what I’m really looking to accomplish is to have the Rookie of the Year award that are handed out throughout the leagues officially named the Tommy “R.o.Y” Kahana Award….has a great ring to it doesn’t it? I’ve approached Tibbs about it but he isn’t sold entirely just yet. Obviously I have some work to do, but an endorsement from you would probably help right?

It does have a nice ring to it.  It sounds a lot better than the Matt Filosa “Comeback Player of the Year…for the 5th time” award.

Tommy, it was a pleasure having you in the Corner.  Continue to bring it as one of CAC’s best and brightest!

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