JBerr’s Box: T’N’Tosti

Today I have a very special guest in the Box. Please take my lead in giving a warm, squishy welcome to  Ian T’N’Tosti, 3 time winner of the BRICK and recent recipient of the Championship MVP. I’ve brought him into the Box today to entertain my bad boy desires and expose to you all the mystery of a guy who may not be as mysterious as you may have thought…Without further adieu…

First off, CONGRATS on your 3rd Brick and A1 Championship MVP honor, I’m humbled to be sitting with someone of such skill & importance.
Jillian thank you for the congrats. Being MVP takes a lot of skill especially in this league. Your importance is almost as good as my importance, but your importance doesnt quite cut it as the level of my importance.
You’re absolutely right, it’s not even close. But, you’re the first person to ever call me important so I’m content to just leave it at that. Now, Before I ask you anything else–I’ve gotta know, how did it feel to beat the Albino Rhino in the A1 Final?? He’s been on the record saying that he was “crushed and embarassed” Do you have anything to say in response to this?
Its the Real Slim Shady/ TNTosti vs the Albino Rhino need I say anymore. They definitely got crushed and I would be embarassed too, not to say they didnt put up a great effort.
A great effort doing what? Guarding the wall? I think you’re being generous. 

When I leaked to a few other CAC peeps that I got you in my box they were shocked and admittedly jealous. You’re known to be impossible to get in touch with, so how did I score such an exclusive interview??  

For shizzle my nizzle I can understand the jealiously from your PEEPS. I was playing basketball in davis sq hitting every shot, not passing the ball being completely selfish as usuall, exploding doing what I do. You got the exclusive interview with me by begging me to answer stupid questions [ERRONEOUS!!] for a site that is getting more hits than myspace now. I mean seriously Josh is lucky to have all of these leagues without a good score board and refs that look like they were just grabed out of footlocker by the calls they makeÖ
Öand the adult small dry-fits they wear. But hey, beggars can’t be choosers and as long as everyone hates the refs that means they’re probably doing their job. But let’s get on with the show and tell the readers what they really wanna hearÖ

1) Tosti, you’re probably one of the most myserious, bad ass, sliim shady like fellas up in this jeezy and people are dying to know who’s the man behind the moves? So, please share with your loyal fans a little about yourself, where you grew up…and walk me through a typical day in the life of Ian Tosti…

Tosti? Is that Italilan, like Fragile?
When Im not igniting bombs on a local court, I enjoy MC’N in the 313 throwing my set up with headphones on slaping my girlfriend straight in her face; No, on a serious note people who know me would not call me myserious or shady. I grew up in Arlington my whole life. A typical day for me is going to work, chillin with my girlfriend, playing basketball and watching tv.
 2) Some would call you EXPLOSIVE; afterall…You’ve been nicknamed “T’N’Tosti” What do you think this refers to? Your dynamite court habits? Your personality? Extracurriculars?? (if you know what I mean)…

I think TNTosti must refer to me shooting a basketball and it going straight in the hoop if it means anything else im confused. I’ve been called Slim shady, toast and butter, toasty  TNTosti really whats next?
I only get paid to ask questions, but as long as you don’t go EXPLODING in the Box we’re straight. 
3) You’ve now carried all 2 CAC legends and 1 wanna-be to A1 Championships. Can you talk about the coaching styles of Wolverine, Ocal and Tibbs, highs/lows of playing with each of them, and ultimately the question everyone wants to know–who did you like playing for best??
I dont believe I carried any of these teams to the all mighty greatness an A1 title, I did contribute a lot though. All of these captains were pretty good at making the right substitutions at the right time. They were all good at passing the ball. Ocal is a good point guard, Tibbs is good down low putting up shots, and Wolverine is just a good player because hes part of X-men.
And he loves felines, but once again I digestÖ
It seems to me I get picked last in the draft anyways, so how much credit am I actually getting? the most improved player write up?
Woah, woah woah, there’s nothing wrong with Most Improved Status! Afterall, that’s pretty much my only shot at an award here @ CAC other than “most color coordinated”

 Ive been doing the same thing, playing the same way, its just if im on a crappy team I’ll shoot the ball instead of making the right pass, is that selfish?
Not if you come from the Terry Henderson School of Basketball. Sorry, that was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it? Dammit! (through clenched teeth) I always DO THAT! (slamming fist into the box)
I would have to say playing with [censored] sqaud was the best, because we played together, werent selfish, and enjoyed the last 8 wins.
And there you have it, [censored] by a long shot. But I will warn you right now, due to censorship your answer could be compromised at any given time.
4) What size tee-shirt do you wear?? You get those things custom made? And after what, THREE BRICKS now and the Commish still hasn’t ordered any XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-L championship tee’s–how do you feel about this? I know you wear your CAC apparel outside the gym.

I try to shop at Big in Tall. Yes, I’m a little disappointed I cant use my CAC A1 champsionship shirt as a bed spread/ tee shirt yet. But, CAC apparel is becoming bigger than nike, adidas, and reebox now, so I’ll deal with what I get.

Story of my life.

5) Speaking of livesÖCan you tell me how significant of a role basketball plays in your life?
When I droped the mic… Basketball was really the only sport I was considered good at early on, so I stuck with it. A lot of my friends share the same interest and its competitive. My senior year my highschool basketball team won the championship in the fleet center and we dedicated the championship to a student named Orlando who had died in a horrible car accident. Now after highshool I work for the Boston Celtics and to me there really cant be a better job than that. So basketball does play a big role in my life.
6)  How did you score such a money job with the C’s? Can you tell us any scandalous behind the scene stories involving any of the coaches or players??  Give us somethin juicy…  

Well its a long story so ill sum it up, My good friend of mine who I grew up with already worked for the Celtics and there was an opening and he called me.
During the 06-07 season when we played Minsota, at halftime KG tried getting in the celtics locker room to fight gerald green. Now Kg is number 5 and gerald is no where to be found, the basketball gods were at work.
I’m a fan of the #5 myself, it’s my CAC number. But more importantly, I see you’re spiritual and I like that.
7) My editor has informed me that there are rumors that you’re next in line for Lucky’s job down @ the Garden, is this true?

No im not, does your editor have a mental problem?

On the record I’m prohibited from answering that question. But you’ve played with him, you tell me?

8) I’ve heard that you’ve had a lady rumored to be your girlfriend watching you play lately–can you clear these rumors up.

I do have a girlfriend her name is Kerri. But the girl friend/ baby sitter as written up in that write up, that woman, the one your talking about, oh yea that was my birth mother. Im adopted and I met her for the first time this year at a celtics game and its been going great ever since. Does that clear up the rumors? Everyone seems so tuned in. Nice one Tibbs Nice one.

Yeah Tibbs, way to go, dick! He can be so insensitive. Although, your mom must have been flattered.

9) Part of your edgy look are the tatoos you rock, do they have any special meaning or importance or are they just part of your image?

The one on my left arm is a sun that symbolizes freedom and light.

ÖAnd serves to blind defenders when they gaze into it, allowing you to get those bombs off.

And the one on my right arm is a tribute for my sister that past away, GOD rest her soul.

That’s what they call wearing your heart on your sleeve, that’s an honorable thing to do.

10) League Night Out is Saturday September 6 at the Greatest Bar, your fans have yet to see out on the town and they are itchin to know if you’ll be making an appearance??

Is doctor dre gonna be there?
Doctor Dre’s dead, he’s in Ocal’s basementÖ.I like to rap sometimes.
I mite owe it to my FANS but really how loyal are fans lol I probably wont make it, I have celiac desease so I cant drink beer! Im still getting used to it. I mite go though.
Don’t worry, there are plenty of other ways to inebriate yourself, and no doubt the people attending LNO know every last one of them!
So, FinallyÖNow that I’ve made you even more famous, do you think you could hook me up with a pair of C’s shorts??
I mite be too busy freestyling or blowing shit up. Probably not unless Im given more, I gave them all away, Ill see what I can do.
Comm’n! Hook a girl up!  
 Ha, thanks for takin the time to show the CAC World who the Real Slim Shady is. And Watch your step outta the Box, it could be slippery.