Oh, what a treat it was to be filling in for an ailing Alberto last nite as me, T-Hend, and Cuntry Grama held it DOWN in the 5 on 5 ladies league. I got numerous “Are you going to be the ref for the rest of the season” questions and, ladies, it is safe to say, per my style, I am a one and done-r. Your Alberto will be back next week so take it easy on him.
But seeing some of those familiar faces just brought me back to the origins of Taco Hoops at CAC. Way back in the day, the ladies use to ball on Sundays and yours truly was the only one brave enough to take on work during the Sabboth.
It was great to see some of the old (yet young) CAC vets like Rhi, Abby, Debra, Cat, Moonboots, Callie, the Big Lil Hurt and Robyn, as well as some of the other ladies who have emerged CAC icons like Magic and LJ. All of whom still cringe when they see its me behind the whistle
It was great to see that the games still start on LST or Ladies Standard Time. Show up whenever and we will start whenever.
It was great to see that the ladies have upgraded big time in the staff department from when I was running the show. CAC’s best piece of eye candy, Durbrow AKA Cuntry Grama, has things on lockdown over there. Googlie eyes over to the scorer’s table were as often as police sirens as we are nestled in lovely east Somerville over at the Winter Hill school. T-Hend is a more than capable official (fresh off his 44pt A1 performance last Monday night FYI) and Alberto is easily one of the most charismatic CAC staffers behind the whistle. (I believe the great CAC philosophizer, DLee wrote, “Alberto hates charges so much he refuses to pay his credit card bill” – or something hilarious to that effect.)
However, tonight, T-Hend informed me that we would have a special guest in attendance for the late game. Apparently Big Baby, Glen Davis’ girl plays in the league and he likes to show up and playfully heckle the officials. My initial reaction was to try and somehow get pregnant by him so I can be on easy street. Alas, father biology has played yet another cruel joke on me.
With my dreams of hitting the “bun in the oven” lottery dashed with one quick look at my firehose, I had to prepare for the playful heckling. Well, I am not one for any sort of heckling and I announced that if Big Baby heckled me, I would have something to shoot back, just as T-Hend said he did the previous week.
The last game of the night and the man himself strolls through the gym doors. To the delight of 2 straggling students at the school, they immediately rush over and say hi to him. As the game goes on, the 2 students have texted some of their friends to come down and meet Big Baby.
After half time, me and T-Hend switch sides and I am standing right in front of the 6’8″ Celts star. I made a joke to one of the players and I hear his voice from behind me telling me “Not to joke around with the players and be a serious official.”
I turn around and tell him, “Mr. Powe, can I see your ticket? If you don’t have one I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Big Baby looks perplexed “I aint Powe.”
Me- “Youíre not Leon Powe?”
Big Baby – “Man, these kids didnít call their friends to come down and see Leon Powe. You don’t even know who I AM?!?!” (Couldn’t tell if that was a dig at Leon?)
(I wanted to shoot back, “Ohhhh, I’m sorry. Um, I don’t know how to say this, but Mr. West, you were a dick to Taylor Swift at the VMAs and you should be ashamed of yourself.” ) However, I could tell my beautifully crafted sarcastic whit was falling on deaf ears.
Then, my mood changed. Wait a minute, this aint the NBA. This is CAC. When you come to a CAC game, HE should know who I am. He doesn’t read my blog? He doesn’t read my write ups? Psssssssssssht!!!
A couple minutes rolled by and we had another stoppage of play. Big Baby didn’t waste another opportunity to announce “This dude didn’t even know who I am. I aint Leon Powe,” as everyone in the gym enjoyed his ripping into me.
Again, I kept up the charade like I didn’t know who he was, but Big Baby was not enjoying the joke. Then, it clicked in my head. I have to make a rule from this day on: If any celebrities come in and watch a game that I am working, they best know who I am before I give them the satisfaction of me recognizing them (How’s that for a Kanye ego?)
Just another memory to add on the CAC Ladies memory lane. Stick with Cuntry Grama, T-Hend and Alberto, Ladies, you’re in great hands.