Nobody likes report card day, but instead of traditional grades, letís give each B2 team an athlete or celebrity that best represents their performance thus far this season at CRFC. Can you imagine if grades worked this way in high school and college?
B2 EAST
The Mullets: Tom Cruise
Still the biggest fish in the pond despite ample evidence that they are going a little crazy.
Cha-Ching: Colin Ferrell
Tons of talent and good looks, but might not be focused enough to reach full potential.
Drago: Jessica Alba
Bursting onto the scene out of nowhere to quickly become a media darling.
Serenity Now: James Brown
The hardest working and most enthusiastic team in the business.
Genzyme: Teri Hatcher
You never know if the really good version or the not so good version is going to show up on any given night.
Millenium: O-Town
A group of reasonably talented white guys that when put together can have some surprising success.
Wizards: Flava-Flave
Struggling to find its current relevance after so much respect and success in the past.
Ripcord: Tim Thomas
Moving out west might be just what the doctor ordered.
Archemix: Don Cheadle
Nobody is really quite sure why they havenít had more success thus far.
B2 WEST
BALCO: Barry Bonds
Top of the heap but still hasn’t been significantly tested.
B Squad: Twice A Prince
Just how far behind is 2nd place from the frontrunner?
(If you arenít a horse racing historian, you may have to Google that one)
Wheelers: Sir Mix-a-lot
Little in the middle but they got much back.
Even More Cowbell: Will Farrell
Too easy
Get Shorty: Kevin Youkalis
Holding their own after a stint in the minors.
San Juan Expos: G-Unit
A hodge-podge of random guys who you donít know much about, but you get the feeling youíd probably want to hang out with them if given the opportunity.
Biogen: Martha Stewart
Playing well despite its history of corporate scandal.
ALS: Cal Ripken, Jr.
Very likeable who everyone wants to see succeed.
Showtime: Journey and Def Leppard
A group of veterans who somehow find themselves playing together again.
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