Quick Hits – Dave Grubb

Dizzy Llamas Represent!

Episode 2 of Quick Hits features a man (not just any man) who has taken Tommy Kahana’s ‘5 Steps to Successful Self-Promotion, Clearly I know what I’m Doing, You Bought these DVDs for 5 Payments of just 39.95’ to heart.  It’s only fitting that the pupil should follow the master. That’s right folk’s, I’ve got the Co-Ed “Mr. Clutch” Dave Grubb. In case you don’t religiously read the boards (you should), Grubb hit the game winning 3 to give Dizzy Llama Blue (the 6 seed!) a win over the third seeded Hide Ya Kids, Hide Ya Wife (best team name this season).  It stands as the biggest upset in DL history (it’s short, but growing here at CAC Basketball). I think that earns him the spotlight heading into Round 2 of the playoffs, let’s get this show started.

JT: You know the reason you’re getting this is because you hit the 3 to beat HYKHYW.  Mariano probably deserves it, but i don’t have his email.  How’d Mr. Clutch celebrate his big shot last week?

DG: In the words of my boy Ochocinco, “Cmon son!”  You don’t need anybody other than Mr. Clutch.  Actually, it’s crazy that you’ve waited this long to invite him into the Quick Hits segment!  Ratings could have been soaring all season, but I understand you wanting to make a bang here in the Playoff edition.

JT: Despite this being called ‘quick hits’ this is going to go on waaaay too long if you refer to yourself in the third person. You can’t do what Ricky does, you haven’t done what Ricky can do!”

DG: Truth be told, Mr. Clutch celebrated his big shot last week standing around an empty parking lot with teammate Hoagie.  We were already talking up strategy against Celli’s team.  (at the time guess we overlooked the fact that Rory was on the WoMS too).  This is not even made up, but while standing in the parking lot of King, a man approached us, honestly looking like he wanted to hurt me, but I figured it was just a fan that saw my highlight on the SportsCenter Top 10, so I was already reaching for my Sharpie.  As he approached us he pulled out a bag full of DVD’s and gave us an offer hard to pass up.  $3 per movie.  BARGAIN.  Although, I had to politely decline.  I considered going out after the win, but the majority of HYKHYW weren’t overly friendly with me after the game, so I decided I’d forego getting beaten up by Matty A and his crew, so went home and went to bed.  Yes, I live a wild life!

JT: How can you possible pass up a $3 copy of Step Brothers or The Other Guys? Missed opportunity.  Can you keep the upset train rolling? WoMS isn’t actually that good you know, what’s the game plan for tonight?

DG: In no way, shape, or form are we scared of WOMS or going into tonight just feeling fortunate to be there.  The way I look at it, HYKHYW beat WOMS once and took them to OT another time.  By default this tells me we have every opportunity to take down another giant.  After tonights win I want to go from “Mr. Clutch” to “The Dragonslayer” No real reason other than the fact that it sounds Bad Ass!  I am expecting SBTS to take care of business tonight for two reasons.  One, Genzyme truly and honestly scares the hell out of me.  I know my “guns” are intimidating and misleading, but I’m actually a pretty fragile and sensitive dude.  There’s no way I can withstand getting thrown down by Ronnie from Jersey Shore. That is him out there, right?

JT: That was one reason, not two, but we’ll roll with it.  Apparently you didn’t get Tommy’s 5th DVD, “How to Talk Up Your Opponents and Give them a False Sense Of Security While Really Letting Everyone Know How Awesome You Are”.  Man, why do all these DVDs have really long names?  Everyone wants to know when you’re going to, you know, play in a men’s league.  The three point line @ CAC is even closer than @ King and the defensive is worse, if you can believe it.  Will Mr. Clutch ever convert to 4v4 ball?

DG: I’ve heard the cry from the millions, AND MILLIONS of Mr. Clutch fans myself.  The answer is, I have no answer at this time.  In fact, as a recently single Mr. Clutch, the co-ed ranks give me a higher percentage of finding a Mrs. Clutch!  I haven’t gotten to that chapter of Tommy’s DVD’s yet though.  TBD.

JT: Who am I kidding, I let the Ladies carry me too.  Tell us something we don’t know about @dgrubb3 or the Dizzy Llamas franchise

DG: Hmmm.  The truth is I have been having some pretty serious knee pain over the last 5 days.  Most people don’t know that because I don’t want to look even more heroic after we continue marching on after tonight.  Ooops… secrets out!  I’m sensing a E:60 segment soon.

JT: Come on, you can elaborate more than that.

DG: Aside from my knee hurting answer, something personal about me that gets me ticking for games.  Well, before each game I listen to Edge (from the WWE), his intro song gets my fired up for games!  I was humming it all the way up the court last week before, during and after the shot that crushed HYKHYW’s hopes and dreams.  Also, my love of basketball doesn’t end with CAC Basketball.  Shamefully I will admit, I am also an avid fan of One Tree Hill. Obviously for the basketball segments and not for the super catchy, highly realistic life drama that is Dan Scott. 

JT: I swear to god you ‘haha’ over email one more time and I’ll punch you through my computer! (haha) Didn’t that show jump ahead 5 years? I caught a clip (Gripp makes me watch Soap Net on the Weekends, what do you want from me?) and was very confused, I wanted the Scott’s to stay in high school forever, but didn’t they burn it down? Or was that a Smalleville episode? Now I’m rambling.  Without Nibs to drop the beats for us tonight, leave us with your best rhyme to take us into the second round of the Co-Ed East playoffs! 

DG: Many weeks ago I went down this road.  I tried to rap, but got boo’d off stage.  I’m simply gonna leave it with this one message.  Between the 6:00 and 9:00 games we should see some very intense action.  Rory and I have spilled our smack talk from the message board, to Facebook, to Twitter.  Time for talk is just about over.  7 Hours.  TICK TOCK.

Love it, great work man, thanks for taking time out of your busy day taunting Rory DUYON over Facebook, I appreciate it.  Co-Ed East Playoff Action is TONIGHT @ the King School, catch the fever!