Quick Hits – RoY-VP

Cuz you don’t get enough of him in general

I need to post more, you know you all like my ramblings, but I’m also lazy, so there’s that.  Why not make most of you all do the work?  In lieu of more long, drawn out interviews, I’m going to be posting some ‘Quick Hits’ with CACers you already should know to get a feel of where they’re at.  Come on, you love the idea, and you know it’s better than Kap’s solo blog so far.

Who better to get the first crack at this than the master of self-promotion, the man behind the iron curtain, for 3 more weeks, and a true CAC Legend, Tommy “RoY” Kahana

TK: There is nothing quick about this….

JT: Fine whatever, just answer the damn questions. As you’ve said on the boards you’re stepping down from SML – Mrs. RoY really must have bribed you really well, what will you miss the most and not miss at all about covering Sunday Mornings?

TK: Strangely enough I think what I’ll miss most are some the weird things that happen at the SML every week. Such as Matt Maloney giving weird creepy man hugs every time he comes in, Kap stumbling in looking like death and crushing 5 red bulls before his game or my team notoriously showing up late for every game as I warm up on the court wondering if I’m playing 1 on 4. As for what I won’t miss, well that’s easy. All those times I had to cut out early from hanging out with you guys, well I had to go home so I could report to duty the following morning. It obviously had nothing to do with me being summoned or anything….

JT: Obviously, no one summons a potential Hall of Famer, not even Mrs. RoY! What advice do you have to the next generation of CAC statkeepers?

TK: Great question. I think we’re getting a new breed of staffers as epic veteran legends, such as me, decide to walk away on top and they’re still trying to figure things out. Some people think they got it right (see Rory….) but I think what all the players really want is a little bit of effort and pride out of us. It’s not just about getting lines/stats/write-ups up every week. Add some personality to your work, don’t be afraid to make fun of you, the players, the league, and give them something to look forward to every week. It’s never good when the league is more shocked by the fact that you posted something as appose to missing a week.

JT: No one is shocked when I miss a week of anything.  Unless it’s food and drink, then they’re shocked.  Let’s make this even MORE about you – you’re the master of self promotion, what are your top 5 tips to get noticed?

1) In your first game at CAC drop 32 points, begin to self proclaim yourself “Rookie of the Year” at LNO the following week and make sure it makes the video (man, remember those days). Then proceed to bounce around to other leagues to win more ROY awards and you got to make sure you get a nickname that sticks…fittingly I got RoY….

I tried to find that video, but since it’s pre-Beloved I think the Hitman destroyed it.  I’m wearing a sad face, it was pretty epic. You know, back when I would show for LNO.

2) Get a CAC message board log-in and hound the boards daily with shameless and nonsensical rants about yourself, your teammates and the opposition. Heck, you don’t even need to be part of a particular league to get involved.

3) Getting on these type of blogs used to be huge. Whether you’re the source of the post or mentioned, it doesn’t really matter. Buddy up with the writers; remind them why it’s important to have you (the brand) on it. And if it comes to it, bribe your way, because at the end of the day, any press is good press.

4) Get your own league. I mean, that’s easy money. What better way to self promote yourself than spending the entire time writing about yourself during lines, write-ups, previews or awards. You basically have the freedom to write whatever you want about yourself. Of course you may alienate your league and have them running for the hills, but does it really matter, you got your name out there.

Yes! Everyone join staff! Seriously, I’m looking for a couple good CACers that want control of stats/write-ups. It’s more power than you’d think.

5) Lastly, the one lesson I’ve learned at CAC is that Hate = Love. So basically, make sure you’re hated. No one is going to write glowingly about people they love, but you damn well know they’ll talk about you when they can’t stand you. So don’t be afraid to call people out, and if you don’t back it up it’s even better. You’ll be vilified by everyone but you could get an entire thread of 50+ post of people writing about you.

JT: How pissed was the Co-Ed west at your antics this season? You even took over their facebook group page (yes, this is a real thing, and it’s awesome)!

TK: I’m pretty sure most sincerely hate me. Not only did I take over their league on the boards and facebook page (and I agree it is pretty awesome), but I even won one of their awards. I’ve gotten some severe hate posts from the likes of Alleigh, Todd Carlson, Celli, and Sweckerk that have truly come right from the heart. I’ve already dominated them on the boards and FB and they despise me, imagine what happens next season when I join them and continue my domination with my play. They would go straight out bananas…..but like I said, Hate = Love…..

JT: This season alone you’ve been a part of one of the greatest games in the B1 history, as well as one of the greatest upsets, last night, AND a part (not necessarily an MVP, but a part of) of a Co-Ed undefeated squad.  What do the cards hold for the next step in a living CAC Legend’s life?

TK: It’s certainly been a fun season with some great games. You’re right, that B1quarter final game was the craziest game I’ve ever been a part of. As for what’s next, well my Saturday night have freed up now which will be nice. I’ll continue to scour the message boards and interject where needed and of course be part of several leagues. I might not be on the staff anymore but my brand is going nowhere. I’m still waiting for that HOF invitation to come…by the way, wasn’t there a vote suppose to happen soon?

I knew you’d bring it back to that at some point, I think that’s a good time to end. Not quite the ‘Quick Hit” I envisioned this morning when I woke up, but let’s hope this has more staying power than O’Cal.  Until next week people, remember, you want people to talk about you, you’ve got to talk about yourself!

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