Random Notes ~ Tiger Woods

Originally Posted
2010-03-02

Ok, ok ~ so it has been awhile.  I know.  Problem is – the juices are not running freely as I no longer cover a league so I’m not getting great material – like Meat Hands Layman, or Tratior Bugbee, or even just killing the Commish or Tibbs over the pettiest of stuff.  But for those who used to read my writeups – I always end with a “Random Notes” section at the bottom with material collected as the game progresses but may not be material to the actual game.  So maybe I’m starting something new here as well.

 

I am going to try and take a topic and then bullet point random thoughts about that topic.  Some will ramble, some will be concise, some will probably rub you the wrong way.  But I figured I would tackle a taboo subject after watching THend – Jumpman walk into the CAC with a “Just Do Her” t-shirt from Barstool Sports:http://www.barstoolsports.com/cart/index.php?sitessel=2

 

Anyway ~ I’ll throw this link on the Open Thread on the Message Boards as well to maybe get some feedback from the CAC population.  Enjoy:

 

Tiger Woods ~ does anyone see the lunacy in this?  Tiger is the MJ of this decade.  Plain and simple.  The best there is. Roger Federer is close if you consider tennis a sport (as if soccer is?) – but Tiger portrayed himself as wholesome.  Jordan never did.  That is truly the only difference between these guys.  Plenty of guys – including Jordan – get caught with infidelity.  Jordan is/was a killer by nature.  Jordan’s Hall of Fame speech was jaw-dropping. If you have not sat through Jordan’s HOF speech ~ and clearly Wolverine didn’t cause Filosa should have cut and pasted the transcript of this speech and just changed the names to kill people ~ here it is:

In Part III – “I don’t look at this moment as a defining end to my relationship with the game of basketball.  It’s simply a continuation of something I started a long time ago”.  You know what he means with this quote as he ends his speech?  I am not done shatting on each and everyone of you in this audience no matter if I have shorts on, a suit on, a ref shirt on, a beer in my hand, a better poker face at 2am…no matter what ~ I’m better then you.

 

Woods should have contacted Jordan for his speech writer.  Now – Woods had to apologize to a few people.  He did NOT have to apologize to you or me and the apologies should have been saved for behind closed doors.  Did he cheat in golf? Did he gamble away the fortunes that we as golf lovers and buyers of his products bestowed upon him? Did he “retire” to try volleyball as a career?  Did he spit in your face when you asked for an autograph?  He put the entire sport of golf on the map.  Jordan at least had Larry and Magic before him to pave the way for douchbaggery on and off the court.

 

Look at Magic Johnson.  The man professed to having HIV at a time when HIV automatically made you gay, a dirty needle pusher, or someone off the back of an illegal boat from a foreign country.  Magic was MY Jordan (showing my age) and I was devastated, but he still didn’t owe an apology to me even though the disease would steal him from his “back nine” in the NBA – which in turn meant I got robbed of a few more good seasons from Johnson.  Didn’t matter but this is the only “press event” that parallels Tiger’s and Tiger didn’t contract a deadly virus that could have infected thousands (yet).

 

Woods is in his prime.  The only thing he needed to say to you and I was – I’m coming back to the game we love and will never disrespect it the way I’ve done with my transgressions.  The rest of the dog and pony show is private.  His apologizes to his foundation, his peers, and especially his wife should be behind closed doors.  Jordan not only cheated on his wife, he divorced her, slept with 100s of women on the side, gambled away millions of dollars with his golf buddy Chuck Barkley, and divorced his wife to the tune of 250 million dollars.  We are talking about the #1 Most Expensive Divorce in Celebrity history according to Forbes Magazine:

 

Now I mentioned Magic’s mega-conference and I know exactly where I was for that (freshman year in college) but with that said ~ does anyone remember a “mea culpa” on national TV on every channel known to the Comcast family of network channels for Jordan or any other infidel?  I don’t.  The only reason I know where I was at this “defining” Tiger moment in television history was I was home from work looking for a channel that was NOT covering this charade.

 

Who is Tiger Woods kidding?  He looked like a buffoon.  Standing there stoic – some say robotic – I say cartoonish – trying to apologize for something 3 out of 10 men do and 9 out of 10 men think of doing (Tibbetts being the lone hold out cause he would die a slow death).  I was waiting for the puppet strings to start moving in the shine of the 800 spotlights on him like a Cirque de Soliel show.  My wife barely knows who Tiger Woods is.  She loves hockey.  She’s from New England.  Was Woods catering to the women who watch golf? All 17 of them that don’t play on the LPGA tour?

 

Without being tied to a national network or writing a column even though I’ve been at the Boston Herald for 10 years – I can speak the uncensored truth here.  Bill Simmons of ESPN came close to what I am saying and Gerry Callahan of the Herald hit some home runs ~ but Simmons acted as if we ~ as sports fans ~ deserved an apology.  Callahan thought Woods was sincere even though he did not have to be.  Bull.  The rest of the yahoos were PRAISING this charade.  Woods was as sincere as I am when I tell my wife I won’t go out drinking ever again with the fellas from the CAC and pretend I’m still 26 rather then (fill in the blank).

 

If Woods was working on his marriage – he’ll be back playing golf soon and that is all he needed to say to us.  Could have said it shagging fly balls in spring training.  Or hitting some practice swings at Cambridge Municipal.  I recently went to a Knicks game at MSG and had a conversation with a long-time friend pre-game about the Woods-Jordan dynamic.  His original take was – that he loved Jordan and would have loved if he was ever a Knick (very few Knick fans believe this as they grew to hate Jordan as much as Spike Lee hated Reggie Miller, who was a poor man’s Jordan to Knick faithful) but my friend Jeff didn’t like Woods cause he thought he was “fake”.  Couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

Woods is the “fake” Michael Jordan of this era cause Jordan was just smart enough to never apologize ~ even in his HOF speech.  The best is the best for a reason.  Take no prisoners and sure, there will be mistakes along the way, but never apologize.  In short ~ by trying to portray a “wholesome” image ~ he duped every consumer, fan, and the sport.  Huge mistake and basically now makes him look fake.  No one would ever say that about Jordan – the real deal.  Say you were wrong for only the right reasons and move on cause once you admit you were wrong – you are right again – so you can always consider yourself moving forward.  Woods lost that somewhere along the way to his PR puppet masters in this nightmare.

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