Return of the Mailbag (VI)!!!

It’s about Damn Time

I know this has been much anticipated by many of you that have read the first five installments

Holy sh!t Iíve been slacking off. That last one was just over a year ago!!  But notice how I’ve improved my editing and formating! I probably had enough material for about 3 mailbags in a row, but just know that going in, most of my best stuff has been lost as I cleaned out my email from (last) Spring Cleaning. Yea the Commish made me do it, what can I say?

Most of you haven’t read them, and they’re slightly amusing (I’m no O’Cal) but if you’re bored at work (I know you are) have already poured over every stat and write-up from your league(s) (I know you have) then check out the archieves, I’m usually good for a least a good chuckle.

Let’s start with a couple of my favorites and move on to the others so I include as wide a variety of players as possible.


I’m out Tibbs. Playing in another league. Can’t handle the writeups at CAC. Just kidding….See you sat ~ Z

Seriously Z, we know the reason that you’re not playing this (last) season is because you felt so belittled in the Summer season’s write-ups.  But I needle because I care.  I expect good things out of Paul Z, including the occasional effort on the defensive end.  You’re supposed to be a leader of your team, so everyonce in a while, the faults stand out.  I didn’t mean to drive you from the leagues, but the jokes at your expense during the 2v2 made it totally worth it.


Hi, This is Bobby from the Bone Crushers (he starts off so polite and well mannered) and I would like to declare shenanigans (uh-oh) on the stats kept for our last game (jesus christ).  I never really care when stats are messed up (the people who care the most are ALWAYS the ones that say they don’t), because it seems pretty tedious to keep them all (believe us, it is), but the only stat I do care about is blocks (WAIT! you just said you don’t care!), and I had 5 last game (you did, did you?) and only got credit for 2 (so you only had 2).  If you don’t watch south park you will not understand the shenanigans reference (I do, but thanks for checking in, you went back to being polite), but the bone crushers may have to bring their brooms next game to enforce the rules of shenanigans.

Look I get it, everyone wants the stats that they ‘earn’, but a lot of things happen when someone hypothetically gets a block.  Either

A) The shot went in any, hence, no block

B) Someone else fouled the shooter on the play, hence, no block

C) YOU fouled the shooter on the play, hence, no block

D) The scorekeepers don’t like you

When in doubt, blame Canda…


TIBBS CAN’T BE BOUGHT!!!  Unless its the Celts PLUS free beer…   and we need people to lose to secure our spot…  Who’s’ the 10th game against? ~Mike D

Mike D knows more than anyone that I can, in fact, be bought.  For those that are new to the league this season, please be aware that I accept bribes in the form of beer, grey goose, celtics/redsox/pats tickets (I swear if you try with Bruins tickets I will punch you right in the baby maker) and pretty much anything with monetary value.  Got an issue or need a game changed? It’s as cheap as a 6 pack people! Ask around,people know…

As for the rest of that? Yea Iíve got no idea, as usual, what Mike D was talking about ñ he must have been drunk.


AK did you guard Duncan at all.  If so that would have to be one of the hairiest match-ups of all time.~Sweens

AK always likes to point to early season stats where he’s outscoring Sweens and I, and RoY!, but it never lasts.  Apparently this was the best rebuttal someone could come up with (it works!). And for those that don’t know, yes, it’s a damn hairy matchup
I’m gonna take a risk and go with Caitlin Vestal as my first pick. I don’t know her personally, but I hear she was good in college. ~100 Proof Juice
Two seasons ago the Women’s 4v4 league had it’s first ever draft, and JBerr went on a huuuuuuuuuuuge limb and took the 3 time defending MVP to be the first to ride her HotDog Toboggan.  Let’s say the ‘gamble’ paid off and the Toboggan rode off into the sunset while Gripp won her fourth MVP in a ROW.  Yea, no guy has done that, or probably won’t ever.


I was on vacation for 2 weeks and I just got over the flu.  I will be back in 2 weeks playing good ball!  All that aside I was an embarrassment last night in the hallowed CAC court.  boo! -Laps
Yea, any mortal basketball player can’t catch his wind for a couple runs after being on vacation for two weeks.  That is, unless you’re the Born Gamer.  Dude takes 4 months off from Wall Ball Arena, steps onto the A2 floor and drops 19 the other night.  How unfair is that? And he’s coming off the bench!!
Just noticed it online and sent it out to the team. Love the Ron Harper reference! That was my boy back in the day!

Funny and true story ñ I had to buy new shorts last night before the game and asked the team if they needed anything from Target. Tom asked me to find him a shot + a 30î vertical jump ñ so when he showed up last night before the game started, he asked me if I got it for him ñ I told him found the mojo of Ron Harper for him. It was awesome to watch him just go off last night.

Tibbs, you should have joined us for some beers ñ keep your enemies close my friend! ~Deep

Two Thoughts about this one:

1) This is the C league final when Zyme won it all and Tom Martin went absolutely BONKERS from downtown.  No one saw it coming, definitely not me, and he earned the Ron Harper nickname on his own, I didn’t hear about this story until the next day.  It’s been his shining moment at C.A.C., and Tom needs to get back on the court at C.A.C., I know he’s got a lot more where that came from.

2) I must say that anytime someone wants to buy me beers, I’m in, even when it’s the Evil Empire.  Unfortuantely I missed that outing, but it’s ok, i don’t want to hear them celebrate getting on a banner!!  I finally caught up with Deep last weekend at the C.A.C. Staff party, and the guy is a trooper.  The man can handle a CarBomb (unlike a certain other Zyme/CACer who shall HARDly remain as anonymous as FIVE guys on the floor at a game trying to FOUL in the last seconds of a close game).  I think that did the trick…


RoY: so your MVP and ROY picks really stepped it up last night

JMTibbs: playoffs baby – does strange things to people

RoY: maybe they didn’t deserve it because they aren’t as mentally tough and handle pressure like others

I really don’t remember what season, league or even players Tommy Gunn and I are talking about in this old chat that I saved, but I assume I snubbed him for either the MVP or RoY award in the division.  Hell I bet he knows exactly who, what, where, when, and why were involved in this game from a chat that’s probably a year old.


Mike (Albert) Sucks! – All Gripp Team – MNicey

Ah back in the days when B1 got awards, the Grippster handed out an ‘all Gripp Team’ award for guys that didn’t complain, didn’t get a lot of pub, just played ball for the sake of playing ball.  Well just like Canseco should give up that ’88 MVP for admitting to being on steroid, MNicey should retroactively give up this award for joining the Evil Empire.  He wanted to branch out from Gym Shoes and make a name for himself out from under Albert’s shadow, and he certainly has.  But at what cost?? It’s for Genzyme afterall – THROW IT BACK!


I’m in Chicago (don’t ask) waiting to board my flight. Turns out about 6 cheerleaders from detroit lions on on my flight…. Right now they think I play for the sox and I am texting my agent in the midst of negotiations… That’s no joke! NateDogg

Stupid Cheerleaders….


Tough loss last night.  Real tough.
We’re too mature to complain about the refs TOO much, but one stat sticks out at me:
How the HELL does Paul score 55 points (on mostly drives) and NEVER get to the foul line!!!!!!!!!!!
That is insane.  Seriously, he never got fouled?  Really?  That’s the way ***** saw it? ~Mr BiggShot

No one is EVER too mature to complain about the refs!  I remember this game vividly.  Vance Refrigeration had a chance to knock off topseeded Genzyme (led by the unstoppable Todd Billet)


JMTibbs07: Help me think of something cool for my 1000th post, at 998

TibbsLite: how about “My name is Tibbs aka Junk and I have no life. Therefore I sit and make posts and talk smack instead of doing work while in cube world. I can take any of you one on one, at least for a case of beer, and I can grow a sweet whiteman’s afro. Or at least I think so.”

This was clearly a while ago, as since Iíve changed my job, my board screen name (put up another 400 posts), been granted the fantastical, omnipotent Admin Powers, and wracked up way more posts. Unfortunately, my 1000th post was rather lame and I didnít take my sisterís advice. Hell even my 2000th post was awful – just not the milestone celebrating type I guess.  Hopefully the next CAC addict to reach 1000 posts takes better advantage of the opportunity to create a little history. The closest to the mark? MixTape is next up, (ed note: just 31 away!), and distantly Ramon (289 away), The Hitman (306) and JBerr (351 – and the odds on favorite to get there next until Mixtape found his Muse). Yea, Iím on the boards; and so is everyone else, but mostly Turin, way, way too much.

(Ed Note: This is how long ago I started this thing.  You know how much farther along these people are?? Here’s an update: Hitman-687, JBerr-775, Mixtape-1047 yea, this is kind of a start-stop-start-stop-stop-stop process)
From: Fabry, Brian
To: Jason Tibbetts (C.A.C.) []
Subject: Hey
Tibbsypoo, Next season. What would we get if I put in:

A2 (530 on Wed I assume), B2 (ditto – Tues), B2 West – (ditto – Mon), B1 West – ditto Thurs, B1 East (what night do these guys go?), C League – Mondays at Kennedy at 6pm or 630?


From: Jason Tibbetts (C.A.C.) []
To: Fabry, Brian
Subject: RE: Hey

You’d get a bill for $5100…

And of course he came right back with the retort that we’d have to give Genzyme a discount.  Ha! doesn’t he know that we don’t give discounts?? You don’t even get a towel for christ’s sake….
But seriously, if Genzyme puts in 6 team, that’s just redonkulous. Good for them that the company is willing to support them, but their closely guarded secret about C.A.C. basketball is starting to leak out.  Can BFab hold it all together and continually put in championship contenders, or like Pioli, will he step down and move on to other things? (Note: not bigger and better, pioli did go to KC after all…)

Tibbs: Way to win the Stick w/o Bermont….

Mr. Zone: Lighthouse was on the team, he just missed the pic b/c he missed the championship! hahaha…we would have lost if he was there

HA! I knew I’d get you to say something you’d eventually regret one of these days!  As most of you are probably aware, the website was on the fritz for most of the day, so I busted open my latest mailbag installment and had a crack at it.  While repeatedly hitting refresh (like most of you probably were) I got a pleasant surpise, a flashback to the 2005 site, back when I got my first takes of the crack we call C.A.C. basketball.  The outdated message boards, tabs for only 4 leagues, no East/West and the B1 Kool Aid champ pics were what greeted me.  I didn’t quite detest Mazz back then as I did now (but I think his squad beat mine by about 24, you remember that game DZ) but apparently he and Freddy, well they take it way back into the day. A little misty eyed is the way I’m going to close this, and stay tuned for more Mailbags, Views from the Balcony and pretty much everything else this season (except those B1 North Awards!!)