Sergen’s Table: Playa Prez

Tibbs, I would like to thank you for taking the time to be on the Sergeon’s Table.  It has been two years since you were last in O’Cal’s basement (Tical’s Corner) and have been running the CAC basketball leagues.  Please make yourself comfortable and don’t worry, unlike O’Cal’s basement or JBerr’s box i keep the Operating room a sterile environment…  (mostly because I can’t convince any ladies to visit it)

I’m not sure how you’re going to edit this, but it should be interesting. Why was I asked to wear white gloves, I won’t be the one doing any procedures, right?

I’ll start with some easy questions…
Today O’Cal just posted a blog featuring Tibbs Lite, she claims that 9 out of ten times she can beat you at Horse, True or False?  She then goes on to mention pong, please tell me you can at least beat your little sister in pong.


That’s absolutely true, in horse you actually have to be able to consistently make shots.  Have you seen my J? By far the best shooter in the fam.  However, I like how she tossed in the “used to try ridiculous dunks” tidbit. You hear that people!! I used to be able to dunk!!

As for pong, except for one anomaly, another cape weekend, I own her, and everyone else, that steps up to the table.

Well, at least you kicked her @$$ when we played drunken horse, I still can’t decide if that was a good idea or a bad idea
I will also give you a chance to defend yourself, from Tibbs Lite’s accusations “…the phase in his life that he wouldnít wear jeans – he had an entire drawer of black sweatpants heíd wear everyday along with a Christian t-shirt”
Ha, I was hoping that would never come up.  But one correction, it was two drawers!  This is what we call the extremely awkward phase of my life, and it inhabited over half of it so far.  You’ve got to remember, I was the smart, nice, Christian kid; traits I thankfully grew out of as soon as high school was over.  But yea, as if being called Virgil wasn’t enough, my pasty white complexion really stood out in black sweats and t-shirts, all with a Christian theme, but most with a vicious looking lion or bloody dude.  I hoped people wouldn’t actually read the words. Thank god I was on a couple sports teams, or else I don’t know how I would have survived, obviously I was not so popular with the ladies…
Smart?!?  What happened to that kid, damn you alcohol…
Ha – except that I was saying “Hooray Beer!” since I didn’t want to be that guy…
How much did you pay O’Cal to draft you that high in the first round?  It must have been a lot since I tried to trade Terry and a case of beer for you and had my offer rejected.

I offered O’Cal every bribe in the book prior to the draft, but he made me no promises.  It lined up perfectly for me to take him, and I’m glad I didn’t put myself in as a captain. Now I need to get my head out of my @$$ and start to play well.  Let’s be honest, no one really wants to play with the Jumpman, they just have to because he’s decent at Wall Ball Arena.
Ah, nothing like bulletin board material.

Who would be on your all lefty team?  Would you even make the team?
It’s recently come to my attention that I wouldn’t, so I’ve made it into a B5v5 team.  Now we’ve all seen how well I do at putting those teams together, so let me throw the line-up out there and see what you think.

Starting line-up: 1. Ben Gregory 2. Sweens 3. JRod 4. Tibbs 5. Brian Darcy
Bench: Eric Spindt, Dan O, Cheese
, Matty O’Brien (the new one), and can I take Gripp?? She shoots Lefty…
Coach: Serge

If I was the coach you would have to rank the team last, but would you do that since you would be on the team?  We all know how much you love yourself, especially on your futon nights..

Listen, nothing gets the blood flowing for a little Tibbs self love (no not THAT kind) like a few vodka ice teas on the futon.  After a couple half and halfers I’m sending out annoying texts, drunkenly posting on the message boards, and telling Bush how good I think he is in B1.  Yea, I’ve cut back on that recently, thank god…

For people that say you don’t have a real job can you describe what a typical day is for the President of C.A.C. Basketball and what are some of the issues that you have to deal with?
Besides listening to everyone b!tch about their stats, the location of their games, time slots, and being ‘underdogs’ my day is fairly mundane. Answering random questions about rules/regulations and payments, updating the rosters online to make sure everyone gets their stats, WRITE-UPS, scrambling to find fill-ins because someone is almost always ‘sick’, keeping on top of the staff and making sure the Commish doesn’t drive me crazy all in the same day.  And that’s before I start watching you all play ball at night.  That’s obvioulsy the easy part, the hard part is making you all sound good on the interwebs!!

The worst weeks are the 2 prior to the season starting and the first 2 of the season.  That’s when it actually feels like a real job.  Between making and maintaining 13 separate schedules (with every one’s requests), ensuring we have staffing at each gym (and that those staff members get to play in as many leagues as they want), getting the rosters ready for the website, and getting teams to actually pay, it’s a pain in my @$$.  So yea, 12 weeks out of the year, this feels like a real job.  I can’t complain.

If you take away all the complaining people might actually have time to be productive at work, no one wants to do that.  We also know people love to b!tch about stuff (scoreboard!!)
What were your goals when you took over and do you feel like you have met them?
My first and foremost goal was to build the league up as much as possible and therefore, justify my new position.  I mean seriously, you’re paying a guy full time to run a recreational basketball league for men and women? Really?  Needless to say, I’ve been squeezing every available time spot I can out of Wall Ball Arena, Morse, and any other gym we can get our hands on.  Since the Winter 09 season, my first full-time recruiting, emailing and annoying everyone on C.A.C.’s extensive email list, we’ve never been below 100 teams when we had never previously cracked that number.  This season we’ve got 123 total teams and the 5v5 Leagues are obviously starting to explode before our eyes.

My second was to incorporate and listen to the players and heed their concerns/complaints/advise.  It’s an area where I’m continuing to get better at, but we’ve come far.  As almost everyone knows, they can put a request for specific times and locations and I’ll do my best to accommodate it.  My favorite example so far, is the Woman’s 5v5 League playing at the King last season.  They were livid about the lack of three point line, crappy backboards and banged up floor.  Now the C league plays there as well, but I didn’t hear a peep out of them. But the Women were so adamant, that this off-season, we bough new back boards (at the gym waiting for installation) and are paying for a three point line to be measured and painted on the court (this weekend).  In response, the school has promised to investigate the ramifications of repairing their court floor at the next budget meeting.  It’s a step in the right direction, that’s for sure.

I know that a lot of the people will appreciate the work on the court although Billy’s taped three point line was a work of art.

I also really wanted to get the players involved a whole lot more vocally.  The old message boards (pre 2006) were a free for all, but even the current message boards still left a lot to be desired as of September 07.  So the easiest way to get players involved is to talk about them, obviously.  Pre-game lines and polls have certainly opened that up a lot and I feel like we’re seeing a whole lot more player participation.  I mean it was easy when there were only a couple leagues for everyone to know each other and develop rivalries. But now, with 13 leagues, over 700 players per seaosn, it’s tough for everyone to know everyone else.  So yea, it takes a bit to develop that same ‘familiar’ feeling as if there were only 16 teams and 2 leagues.  One of my favorite things is when guys on the balcony ask “which is (insert message board screen name) on the court?”  It means they’re paying attention, making connections, and have more to talk about at the next League Night Out.

It gets better than that.. Someone once asked Filosa who is the “Wolverine” dude that was doing the write-ups

What do you think the biggest change has been in those 2 years?

Hm, that’s a tough one.  I think the biggest change has been the fading into obscurity of the Wolverine.  It’s sad really, ever since I took this position, you’ve seen him be less and less involved in the leagues.  And it’s not that I’ve forced him out or felt threatened, this is all on his own!  Don’t get me wrong, his last two blogs were great, typical Wolverine stuff, but they were all he’s done in the last six months.  We don’t even get his write-ups any more!

But seriously, I think we’ve really started to get nail down the 5v5 leagues, that’s really the only option we have to continue to grow the leagues.  We’re maxed out with 76 4v4 teams, including Morse, and unless we knock down 3 more racquetball ball courts (fingers crossed), we can’t fit any more teams into Wall Ball Arena.  Hell, our B5v5 West league has teams that would have won our very first A5v5 League So that has really taken off in the last two years, next season you’ll be seeing a B2 5v5, making the league completely mirror our 4v4 structure with an A5v5, B1 5v5, B2 5v5, and C 5v5. Next up, a draft league?!?

If President of CAC Basketball was an elected position you would be up for re-election, what would be your campaign platform and do you think you would even get elected?  I hear there are plenty of people that would like to run against you.

I think I would get elected.  I’d hire O’Cal as my campaign manager to make sure he gets the word out, he’d spread it quicker than crabs, that kid.  The Commish would obviously have my back as my finance manager, (sponsored by Genzyme!) and Gripp as my Public Relations Specialists, because if she can’t talk me up, then no one can.
Who would dare run against that team of All-Stars?  I mean, I can only pay in beer, occasionally, and that’s if my Public Relations Specialist has been paid recently.  I don’t think anyone would stand a chance or even run against me.

Would you be accepting donations from special interest groups?  I hear that Genzyme has a gold card and you are a sucker for beer and potato skins.

You all know I already accept donations from any and all special interest groups.  Free drinks are the surest way into my heart and the top of my inbox.  Plus, it gets special favors done, switching game times, write-up love, blog interviews, etc etc.

Where do you see the league going in another two years?  How do you assure that the quality remains at a high standard with all the expansion?

Long term, I’d really like for C.A.C. to own its own 5v5 location with a couple of courts in the immediate Cambridge/Charlestown/Somerville area.  While the upfront costs wouldn’t be cheap, the long term benefits would be enormous.  Aside from easier staffing and scheduling, we’d be able to maintain our location and guys would be able to congregate in the same way they do at Wall Ball Arena.  I think that would really help foster the same sense of community in the 5v5 leagues that we have in the 4v4.  And you know what that means, more teams coming back, guys putting in multiple teams, and more revenue in Josh’s pockets.

As for the high quality, well then that comes back to the stat staff, refs and website work that everyone puts so much effort into, as well as the players putting their efforts in.  Listen, this is way bigger than a one man job, that’s why we have a great staff of scorekeepers who double as scribes keeping everyone into the leagues.  O’Cal has set the bar so high, that the rest of us are just trying to live up to it.  But you know what, we always need more volunteers to step up and show their wit and written skillz to the league off the court.  For those that are interested, shoot me an email (

Notice the change in email? I hate not being to access all my emails unless I’m at a certain computer (damn Outlook!) so yea, hit me up on the new gmail, it makes it easier for everyone, but especially me, and that’s really all I care about.

Tibbs, thank you for taking the time out of your scheduled drinking to be in the operating room.  I’m sure that everyone appreciates all the work that you are doing for the league, even if they don’t show it with a 6 pack…

Also, I regret to inform you that I just learned your insurance claim was denied.  I know you went through a lot of trouble to get your balls back from Gripp, I will not be able to reatach them.

-The Sergeon General-