Taking the C.A.T.

The CAC Aptitude Test

Here is a quick way to test your own knowledge of all things CAC and give yourself a score you can brag about on the balcony for years. You get one point for each correct answer and all answers appear below. And yes, if I could have figured out how to make them upside down, then I would have! And please do not look straight into my picture as it could cause serious retina damage!


1. What is Cheese’s real 1st name?

a. Orenthal
b. John
c. Rajon
d. Cosmo


2. True or False: CAC management is currently exploring a merger with the BGBL to form the areas largest “recreational” basketball league.

a. True – it’s currently being pitched as “The CAC ‘n SAC”
b. False – they’d never have us.
c. Half True – Tibbs is negotiating to acquire only the womenís division.


3. What CAC legendary pugilist was involved in the infamous “lights-out” fight?
a. “The Esclade” Mike Kaup
b. Kevin “The Barking Crab” Scott
c. Ron Vogl
d. The man only known as Jerry

4. Speaking of lights out, where did the league purchase its new scoreboard?
a. Craigslist
b. Universal Studios
c. Nowhere, it “fell off the truck”
d. Who knows, but it definitely didn’t come with a maintenance plan
5. Who was the first person to coin the nickname “The Wolverine?”
a. The Wolverine
b. The Commish
c. A former Mrs. Wolverine
d. Joey Diesel

6. True or False: Local Hero Ed Finn once scored 81 points in a C League game during his 1st season at the CAC.
a. True, Finn joined the C league solely to bolster his CAC status.
b. False, it’s a myth, like the Yeti, or its North American cousin, the Sasquatch.

7. When were write-ups originally expected from league staff?
a. Within 1 day of the final buzzer
b. Within 3 days of the final buzzer
c. Within 1 week of the final buzzer
d. If and when we got around to it (currently known as the “JBerr deadline”)

8. How many years ago did O’Cal turn 21?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 4
d. What do you mean “ago?”

9. Who is the only person to physically assault the Wolverine over an alleged missed call?
a. Fred “Lighthouse” Bermont – verbal assault can be considered physical!
b. Ian “the Jet” Whitney – played defense on me as I was trying to leave the court.
c. “Captain Crunch” John Kneeland – threw a full cone of water on me in the lobby.
d. BFab – took a charge as I was walking to the parking lot.


10. What color were the reverse pinnies that were worn in the inaugural A league?
a. Yellow
b. Red
c. Black
d. Clear

11. Which CAC high profile couple has the highest combined career player rater?
a. Conzone
b. Jabby
c. Taitlyn
d. O’Berr/Jillverine


12. Who was the 1st ever pick in the A league draft?
a. Chris McMahon
b. Greg Poulos
c. JRod
d. Sean Bradley (no, not that Sean Bradley)

13. Who is widely regarded as the greatest rebounder ever to play at the CAC?
a. Mike Turin
b. Wolverine
c. Ian “Apple” Macintosh
d. None of the above

14. What prestigious hometown boasts the highest concentration of CAC ballers?
a. Medford
b. Saugus
c. Acton/Boxboro/Hamilton/Wenham/Concord/Carlisle
d. Scranton

15. Who reffed the 1st ever CAC league game?
a. Brian the Ref
b. DMac
c. Super Mario Bros
d. Ceddy the Reffing Teddy

16. Of these legendary game-winning buzzer-beater shots, which was the only one to be for the championship?
a. The Poulos Prayer
b. The Ripley Rainbow
c. The Wolverine Heave
d. None of the above


17. Where was the first ever League Night Out held?
a. Warren Tavern
b. Tommy Doyle’s
c. O’Cal’s basement
d. Brother Jimmy’s

18. How much did the 1st league cost per player?
a. $25
b. $50
c. $75
d. free entry (and towels) for all gym members

19. Who was the 1st ever B League MVP?
a. Tom Bain”iac”
b. Jon “In the” Mazzone
c. Sergery
d. Jon Hanson

20. We now have over 120 teams. How many teams did the 1st A league have?

a. 4

b. 5

c. 6

d. Doesn’t matter, that champ couldn’t beat this years C league champ!

Wolverine Level: 20 points (i.e. get a life)

Tibbs Level: 15-19 points (i.e. you are now in the CAC succession plan)

JBerr Level: 10-14 points (i.e. good work, but you may need to ‘grease’ some of the staff)

Purple Pretendo Level: 5-9 points (i.e. still a newbie, but will study for increased status)

PStone Level: 0- 4 points (i.e. I could care less about you losers, I am just here to get paid!)


Answer Key
1.  b
2.  c
3.  a
4.  d
5.  d
6.  b
7.  d
8.  c
9.  c
10. a
11. c (I havenít actually researched this, just loved the question)
12. b
13. d (I said “widely regarded” Turin, not “regarded by wide people”)
14. b (the Vegas of the east ñ and still no referral bonus!)
15. c
16. c (always have to weave this into every conversation I can)
17. d
18. a (but we get so much more now!)
19. d
20. c