The Co-ed Code: A Lesson In Etiquette For The Fellas

Originally Posted

Words of wisdom for guys who like to play with girls

In six seasons as a player/stat keeper, I’ve seen a lot of players and a lot of things in the co-ed leagues at the CAC.  I’ve seen the league grow from one division and eight teams to four divisions and 26 teams.  Not only have teams and players increased, but so has the quality of play…and with that, the level of competitiveness and intensity has gone way up as well.  One ref was pretty much run out of the league, I’ve seen two ejections, including one that involved a vicious Griner-esque right hook and all kinds of other tomfoolery that have brought me to wonder what happened to the code of ethics that was understood, though unspoken and unwritten?

Well, as the league has grown, the etiquette has become sort of a foggy concept and it’s time to restore that right now.  If BFab were as heavily involved in co-ed as he used to be, I can’t help but feel as though I wouldn’t have to write this blog.  Maybe me and the other scorers have gotten soft…unwilling to put people on blast for a big block on a girl late in a blowout win…maybe the refs have gotten soft…unwilling to call a foul on a guy despite a clearly clean steal from  on a girl late in a blowout win.

I’ll preface the following guidelines by saying the I’ve probably bent and maybe even broken a couple in the past, but I’d like to think that as time has gone on I’ve grown wiser and more aware of “The Code”, so here we go…

“Co-ed Etiquette…rules to live by for guys who like to play with girls”

1.  If a girl winds up on the ground, I don’t care if you had anything to do with her landing there, rush to help her up


2.  When you’re blowing a team out, if you have to leave your feet to block a girl’s shot, it’s probably a dickhead move.  Hands straight up, feet planted, and maybe a flick of the wrist (you’d be amazed how many blocks you can get that way).

EXCEPTIONS – Through playing together in these leagues you develop friendships with lots of people from other teams…you might even be teammates in other divisions with somebody you’re playing against in a certain game.  If you have a good enough friendship where you can be an ass without ACTUALLY being an ass, then go for it.  That’s between you and the girl.  This is all pretty subjective and open for interpretation, but I get the feeling that Sabra Wrice and Nicole Wolff don’t want your special treatment.  There are a few other girls in their class but only a few.  Guys, chances are, they’re better than you anyway…so feel free to go for the block as long as you are SURE you can do it without making any contact with the lady.

3.  Same as number 2 except with steals instead of blocks

EXCEPTIONS – same as blocks

4.  If a girl blocks your shot, steals the ball or fakes you out of your Nike’s, do not get pissed off, demand the ball and fly down the court in a fit of rage barreling through defenders before throwing up an out of control layup that hits nothing but backboard as you yell “AND ONE!!!” to no avail.  Smile, crack a joke and play on.  It happens.  Nearly three years later I’m still asking Lauren Rappoli if she found my joke strap the time she damn near turned me around like Barry Sanders did to Ronnie Lippett as she flew past me for a layup (if you get the reference, pat yourself on the back).


5.  If a girl fouls you and it doesn’t get called…shut up and play…I’m sure broke this rule once or twice in the past, but I believe I’ve gotten a lot better in general in this regard.

EXCEPTIONS – I hesitate to say there are any excusable exceptions, but if you do have a gripe, handle it the right way.  This SHOULD be the case with all fouls, but wait until a dead ball and ask the official off to the side if they can watch for something the other team is doing

6.  And lastly, the golden rule…if your contact lens is poked into the back of your eye socket by an opponent, do NOT kick a water bottle or anything else in the area.  Even if you’re aiming for the wall three feet away, you’re not thinking clearly, and the water bottle may carom off the side of your foot instead of the toe and it may hit a female opponent in the leg, causing you to look like the biggest jack-hole in the entire league…not that I know from experience or anything.  Really though…no tantrums.


The co-ed leagues at the CAC have been the fastest growing of the past two years.  It’s a great balance of fun and competition…play to win, but try and put fun first.  Talk trash, but do it in a way that you can laugh about it over a beer with the person on the other end of it after the game.  I can think of a lot of people that would probably take back something they’ve said or done in one of these leagues, and I’m no exception.  I’d like to think I’m a much better person on the court than I was a couple of years or even months ago (much better PLAYER?…not so much).

So the moral of the story is, “don’t be an asshole”.  Or be an asshole but be funny about it to the point where the other team doesn’t take offense to it.  Make the most of the league.  Go out for beers after a game with your teammates…go out with your opponents.  Play to win, but have fun and don’t be a sore sport when you lose to “We’re Here For The Gangbang” in the co-ed tournament.  It’s inevitable.