The Mailbag III

The Postman is still Delivering

Itís been a solid 8 months since my last mailbag blog and with the increased interaction with all of you, I thought it was appropriate to pump one out.  Plus Iím bored, and thereís nothing like a couple responsible beverages to get you motivated enough to clean out your gmail account.  As always, if youíve got something to add, drop me a line.  With weekly deadlines and pressure from above, the mailbags will be showing up on a regular basis.


Do you think anyone loves/cares about all these leagues close to as much as we do?  It would be nice to think that some people do, but that would also kind of sad/scary.  (I get the feeling that may find its way to a mailbag). ~ AK-47

You know, I thought Iíd start us off on a positive note this time around.  This is an old email from immediately after the last mailbag; you know, before the Rattling AK was burnt out by trying to hold down a real job, coach 3 teams, AND put in a couple nights a week behind the scoreboard.  Not everyone can handle that kind of pressure.  He still loves the leagues way too much, as any of my daily strategy emails will attest to, but it’s not the same without him shouting taunts from the balcony a couple nights a week.


FYI – I think JRod did a better job drafting than Turin ever has done.  Jrod for GM of the Year ~ Commish

Weíll see how this one plays out, but in the early going, Josh looks like heís actually right for once.  Who knew that the Hitman could draft a functional team that seems to enjoy playing together.  Until the end of the season, I maintain that this squad will absolutely blow itself up sooner rather than later.  But what do I know, I only gave myself the title of ëexpertí, Iíve never actually had to earn it.


So I have good guesses on the first 2 picks, but who does Adam take at #3?

Les Beaton means more winnin’. ~ Cheese

Really, is that what Moí Les means?? I have no idea if this is true.  In fact, it might be an outright lie.  Weíll let you, the people, decide.


Yo, Dart is the best basketball player I know. How do I know this?  He told me so, so I gotta believe ~ Mo’ Les

More straight out lies, coming straight from the mouthsí (keyboards?) of the CAC contingent.  If you canít trust Les, who can you trust?


Anyone for a work break?  ~ The Greatest American Hero

Most of you may have seen this already, but this is too good not to include.  For those interested, we (ok, the committee of my, myself, and I) have broken it down based upon the CACíers that play pickup on a consistent basis.  # 1Rip, #2Macho, #3Kaup, #4Tibbs, #5Mixtape, #6Ben, #7AK, #8Hitman/Rip, #9 Jeremy, #10 Thankfully no one, #11Tosti.  Watch it and you’ll understand.

Unfortunately, there is no Iron Man in the video.  You know, the guy that shows up to ever pickup, no matter the date, time, his sonís health, or his own injury status.  In our gym, weíre lucky enough to have Cheese as our own personal Cal.


Thatís funny cause I actually had myself pegged for all of them 🙂 ~ Hitman

A continuation of the last email chain, as it was sent out to a wide array of guys who could all relate.  I will agree that the Hitman filled many a qualification.


You gonna behave at the party?  I invited some co-workers, and Iíd prefer not to be to embarrassed.  Just be good and I won’t have to bring out the Wrecking Ball! ~ The Sergeon General

Itís a long story, probably one that doesnít need to be rehashed, but Sergeís angry alter-ego has acquired the moniker of ìThe Wrecking Ballî.  If you don’t know, it’s because of a lack of Vesticular Fortitude on that fateful night many weeks ago.  Itís something I have gained a plethora of lately, much to his chagrin.  But mostly it has to do with him punching holes in the walls of his own apartment.  If only we had gotten it on video.  Basically, he Hulks up, almost on command, and isnít afraid to start swinging.  But the warning is not needed, I always behave when adult beverages are around!


It is incredible how we both completely lied to each other about him (Majic Man) yesterday.  Did you have any idea I was going to take him.  As I said he’s seems like he’s either McMahon or Mazzone.  The happiest person today when the rosters came out, without question, is Trevor.  I definitely plan on e-mailing him saying that a HUGE trade went down and that Serge re-acquired him. ~ Rattling AK

Letís break this down into the two parts that it requires.

1)      Heading into the draft, no one really knew who this Chris Maciejczak character was.  Sure his self-proclaimed stats were big, but everyone gives themselves a little bump when describing their game.  Both of us did our research (hitting up his boy Vladi Nechev for the insider info) but didnít want to admit it to the other.  As it turns out, heís a bigger, dare I say, better shooting Mazzone (, so AK definitely went in the right direction drafting him 3rd overall.  Iím just pissed he did, otherwise he would have lasted to me at number nine.  Although the good news is he seems to be hooked on our homemade crack.  Great, I just gave the Mazzarati more ammo when we face off against one another, like he needed it.

2)      As most of you may know, Trevor has been drafted 1st overall by the General (or should I say Wrecking Ball) for the past 2 seasons.  The seasons didnít end so well, so needless to say, TMac is glad to have the burden of expectations back on his shoulders.  Weíll see how he handles them from here on out.  The prank was definitely way too cruel to carry out, and may have resulted in a homocidal three point bomber invading the CAC.


JMTibbs07: Help me think of something cool for my 1000th post, at 998

TibbsLite: Yeesh

JMTibbs07: Yeh, I just realized

TibbsLite: how about “My name is Tibbs aka Junk and I have no life. Therefore I sit and make posts and talk smack instead of doing work while in cube world. I can take any of you one on one, at least for a case of beer, and I can grow a sweet whiteman’s afro. Or at least I think so.”

This was clearly a while ago, as since Iíve changed my job, my board screen name (wracked up another 400 posts), been granted the fantastical, omnipotent Admin Powers, and wracked up way more posts. Unfortunately, my 1000th post was rather lame and I didnít take my sisterís advice.  Hopefully the next CAC addict to reach 1000 posts takes better advantage of the opportunity to create a little history.  The closest to the mark? MixTape is next up, (ed note: just 52 away!), and distantly The Hitman and the Wrecking Ball (ed note: both 600 away).  Yea, Iím on the boards; and so is Turin, way, way too much.


Who are these dudes??  I was scared when I first saw the team but in all my years playing A1 against tibbs he has never drafted a bad team so I had to put my faith in that, lol ~ Ramon

Thatís right, Moneís got my back and he trusts that I can put together a ball club despite not knowing half the guys I took.  Sure, we need him to show up on a regular basis to be effective, he is after all my first round pick.  But by the time Mone works himself into game shape it will be the playoffs, right in time for us to make our run.


I hate you so much!! How could you lie to me like that and end up giving the free burger of the Majic Man!! You know that my allowance only gets me so far and my mom can’t cook! A man’s gotta eat! ~ Tical

Ok so this is the only email that I actually made up, but it’s fitting and I know it’s exactly what O’Cal was thinking when he saw the latest b.good PoW update.  Tough Luck son, only those that can grow a ‘stach are eligible (Ladies excluded).


Buy a bottle of Belvedere for $36, buy the next for $1 ñ Kevy Kev

And you know what, I actually resisted!  I know youíre shocked, heck, I could have had two bottles of vodka for a whooping $37 bucks.  But it all worked out in the end, as I bought one from Ceddy the Reffing Teddy for a mere 20 dollar bill.  Thatís almost the same, you know, except half, and I spent half the money.  Wait…


Tibbs, Where is the League Night Out on Friday? PZ

Oh you mean you havenít heard?? How is this possible?? Come on Z, League Night Out is on Friday (ed note 10/12, which you already know, be there!) and at the Greatest Bar in Boston.  Contrary to what you may have previously heard, I will NOT be buying everyone drinks, but will remind you of your duty to make sure that the ENTIRE staff is well-saturated.  I would not withhold the same privileges from my fellow staff members that I, myself, deserve.


5 Quick Links

Iím going to include some after every mailbag.  Youíll thank me later.  This weekís theme, the best lists that can be currently found on the internets.

Top 15 Football Catches of All Time [The Angry T] ñ Obviously everyone has their favorites, but this is a fairly comprehensive list that has a little bit of something for everyone.  A must-see simply for the WOW factor.

Top 10 Ways John Madden Likes to Service Brett Farve [Five Tool Tool] ñ Listen, Iíve been sick of Brett Favre since I was in 8th grade and he led the squad that spanked my Pats in the Super Bowl.  This really made my day.

Top 6 Picks from the Sox AL-East Clinching Party [LOLJocks] ñ Ok, so this isnít actually a list at all, just 6 random pics from the after party when the Sawx clinched the division.  But theyíre all great and itís a hilarious site to check out.

Top 10 Sports Commentary Pet Peeves [The Top Tens] ñ Itís baseball playoff season and the NFL is in full swing, and most of the time Iíd rather watch the games on mute.  Hereís a few reasons why.  Yea a top ten list on a top ten website, go figure.

Ten Things I think Heíll Thinks He Thinks [Kissing Suzy Kobler] ñ Listen, Iíve directed you to KSK in the past, and if you havenít gotten hooked yet, then you donít have enough free time on your hands.  Itís great satire (and they get to swear!) Iím so jealous.