The Mailbag IV

The Last One Before 2-4

Iíve got the birthday weekend coming up, playoff previews, and awards for all my leagues, so youíll get plenty of original material in the coming weeks.  But now? Thatís right, Iím digging in and bringing out the fourth installment of the Mailbag.  Am I going to continue with the annoying Roman Numerals? You betcha, but the real question you all want answered is whether or not Iíll ever find another gimmick besides answering questions that I essentially pose to myself, isnít it?  Well no, Iíll probably never stop that.  With the writerís on strike, you can expect the jokes to be even lamer than normal, so you know just skim along.  Please note, with my ongoing conflict against Macho(Bear) this is the only time youíll be hearing about him, which is a shame.  I always get a lot of quality stuff from/about him.  Heís the modern day Loaf.  Enough of him, on then, to the Mailbag (IV) !


By the way, none of this gets into your next mailbag for obvious reasons – Anon

I might as well start off this addition of the mailbag with a quote that I canít even really post.  But, I can tell you that it was really, really funny, and in fact made fun of a number of people, events, and games.  Wouldnít you just love to know who it was about and who sent it?  Well too bad.  You have no idea how many times I get this in an email chain, text message or phone conversation.  Like I have my tape recorder going 24/7, come on people!!


I would be lying if I tried to take the upper road and claim to not care about the stats. I have a reputation of being a horrible defender and my only defense is in the stats, plus my parents have the website link and its proof that I don’t just sit around and drink 24/7 ~ J-Loh

My advice would be to make sure you give me a heads-up before your parents go ahead and sign up for the message boards, otherwise Iím going to be approving them as well and theyíll see what youíre really up to.  But they must love all the comparisons to a washed up Latino singer whoís main asset was her larger than life @$$.  Solid work, I hope they know what blogs are.  Wait a second, blog just came up as spelled incorrectly on my Word Processor.  Really, it doesnít recognize the word ëblogí?  What is this, Windows í95??


Has anyone been guarding Kneeland at all this season? His stats are killing me, this is a really tough league and he’s having a career season!  I guess that’s what has the Majic Man all riled up. ~ Sweens on AK in B1 North


Um, in a word no, no one in the North has bothered to cover the Rattling AK 47.  No wonder he likes the league so much, heís got a couple teammates to take all the attention away from him and he comes in to get his garbage points and puts up numbers.  But the league is just as tough as the A1, where the Majic Man is truly miffed that AK isnít doing the same damage.  What gives??


With Vance, Serenity Now and the Tempest Bledsoe Project, Big Shot Biggins and I have been teamates for 100+ games at CRFC/CAC.  We’re like a mediocre version of Finn & Mazzone. ~ AK

I can never resist going an entire mailbag without at least poking at Mazzone a little bit.  After lighting me and my team up for the 111th consecutive game, I still feel the urge to taunt him from afar.  Iím torn as to who Iíd take, really I am.  Can we get a tale of the tape breakdown of these two stalwarts of the hardwood??  Iím asking you the reader; youíre not getting one from me.


Every basketball team needs an Antoine, kinda fat, puts individual stats before the team, and complains constantly… I just need to develop a wiggle ~ Vig

Iíve got lots of love for the B Leagues in the early part of this mailbag.  This was by far the funniest line Vigneau threw at me in the midst of one of his, ìI should play more because the stats backed it up earlier in the seasoní rants.  My response, ìWell youíre right, youíre kinda fat.î


I still can’t believe we lost that game to Xxxx Xxxxxxx last week. That was a really tough one to swallow. I’m pretty sure their entire team showed up to the game baked.  ~ Anon

So the identity of this person being kept secret is so that when the Commish institutes random drug testing, I wonít be blamed for putting out any hits.  As newly appointed President, I cannot, in good conscious, condone these actions.  That is of course, unless Iím invited next time.


ìUmmmmm, so just don’t go?  I seriously do not get this.  It’s not like you guys are pros, can’t you just scrap it?  What is the big deal about missing a game?  I would just think going to the Celtics would be a lot better than playing.  It’s fine if you can’t, I am just blown away by this.î ~Vig’s coworker

It should be noted that this was a regular season C.A.C. game, and the Cís tickets were in the THIRD ROW!!  Vig and Sweens passed up a chance to see the first competitive Cís game of the season (for three quarters-theyíd have been blacked out by then anyway) and instead came to Wall Ball Arena ready to go, with absolutely no regrets.  What was the reward for such dedication to their teammates?  Well they lost by 9 (fourth in a row), got to complain about crappy officiating, and secretly be pissed at yours truly for being such a baby with a sprained ankle.  All in a nightís work at C.A.C.


Invisible (Re: Thursday 12 Noon Pickup): We ended up with 10; Big Ben, Richio, Superboy, KCÖgood crew

Junk: Lol, whoís Superboy?? Thatís a nickname thatís got to be made public!

Invisible: The dude with the hair and the canvas cons who likes to fly off the mats for slams during games, and they count.  I think he plays with Cheese in a League, not sure.

Junk:  Haha! Zack! Thatís awesome.

Invisible: He is so Superboy, he needs his own comic.  Today I told him one-a-day on the mats slams.  Itís pretty funny though, can you imagine, ìDude, you were out.î Acutally I think Iím going to see if I can do it, is that weak?  Be honest, I can take it.

Junk: Consider Zack aka Superboy aka Converse to have an official nickname…

Welcome to the C.A.C. SuperboyÖ


And I get torn apart in the write up!!! (With no mention to the triple dip)

Unbelievable! ñ TKO

Leave it to one of the superstars to complain about not getting enough good press in the write-ups.  Sure he had a triple double, but the other guys on his team must have played better than he did, they were just making him look good.  Besides, any time you get lit up on the other end of the floor, which more than balances out the equation, you’re going to get some negative pub.  For a guy that boasts of not being shut down yet this season, he’s not exactly playing any Bruce Bowen-esque D.  Hmm, upon further review, heíll probably be complaining about this too.


Right, right.  I forgot about your (Mixtapeís) 45% career 3 point shooting percentage.  Then again, how could I forget your 3 pointer with 2 minutes left in our White Collar Crime quarterfinal game that gave us the lead for good?  That was the game that we were down double digits when The Hitman fouled out with 5 minutes left.  With our best player on the bench, we came from behind to win.  Legendary! ~ The Greatest American Hero

The game in question, of course, is a playoff game that took place at C.A.C. over 3 years ago.  So technically it took place at CRFC.  And no, not 3 seasons ago, but 3 YEARS ago.  I love the use of the details to point out that he knows exactly what happened when it happened.  After the game he probably went home and wrote it in his diary so heíd never forget it.  Itís kind of like I did after winning my one and only ëchip.  Wait, what?  Who said this stuff isnít ridiculously addictive?? See, there it is again, that annoying questioning gimmick.  Get a new go-to move!!


Where you drinking after the game I might join if that’s ok of course ~ Majic Man

Abracadabra Holmes!  Ok, so Talladega Nights isnít quite as quotable as Ron Burgundy, but deal with it.  Where was I?  Right, Dear tiny baby Jesus, we ask for forgiveness of any sins that might result from a night on the town with the following C.A.C. characters.  We know we may not beat the sunrise home if we are out with them, but weíll take our chances:


Fizzle, Mike D, MixTape, OíCal, or OD


Fizzle, bad news.  I’ll be on the couch until Tuesday but it was worth it!!! I LOVE IT!!!   MixTape

As you can see, get more than one from the list mentioned above in the same place, and your night is sure to be full of debauchery, they even get themselves in hot water with the ëothersíÖ


Just got in to work – Forgot to set the alarm, luckily I’m not fired.

Tibbs- I can’t believe you didn’t help me out when that C U Next Tuesday was in the process of stealing my fleece.  I’m pretty furious about that.  

Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx, as I remember, was quite a looker.  Tip of the cap to you Fizzle.  ~AO

Ah yes, the old, roll into the office at 11:30AM move and hope no one notices.  I did that a few times back when I had a real job and needed to be sober past noon.  Man I really, really donít miss those days at all.  As for the fleece deal, I was way to blitzed to comprehend what was going on, I think I just watched and giggled.


Dearest Tibbs:

On behalf of the gang over at Bubbles’ Depot, I would like to extend warm holiday wishes to you and your family; and thank you in advance for your efforts with our scheduling dilemma. 

– XXX/Bubbles

Ah, what a nice sentiment to end the mailbag portion of this blog with.  I wish the same to everyone and their family over the Thanksgiving weekend, and donít forget, games will start back up Sunday the 25th, so there is no rest for the weary.  Now if youíll excuse me, Iíve got my birthday weekend to kick off.


5 Quick Links

Iím going to include some after every mailbag.  Youíll thank me later.  This weekís theme:

5 Things to do this upcoming Holiday Season

So their actual website isnít working, but Friday 11/16 the gathering spot is the Phoenix Landing is the spot to be to celebrate my 24th.  Come on down, watch AK shake his tail feather (guh, ok just watch JBerr) and come get hammered with some of the finest C.A.C. personalities.

You should all take the time to check this out and try to attend.  This will be my first year at the SantaCon Crawl, but Iíll make sure to make it a memorable one.  Donít laugh, the camera will do all the memorializing for me, Iíve already begun working on my Santa Suit (no, not Drunk SantaÖ)

So the plan seems to get an unsanctioned LNO for New Yearís Eve at the Bell in Hand.  Iím all for it, and the Evite list is being created as we speak, the Hitman and General are checking it twice, you get the idea.  If you want the add-on and they donít have your email address, track them down.  Otherwise, send inquires to yours truly.

The holiday season is about giving, and what better way to do that then give back some of your time or resources?  This site has a lot of information for those interested in volunteering in the coming weeks, or just during the year in general.

You didnít really think Iíd let this entire mailbag pass without even mentioning the 3v3 Tourney did you?? Sign up today!!