The Underground MixTape

Itís true: the MixTape has captured his first brick in dramatic fashion this past Monday and of course with any accomplishment comes the collateral benefits, one being the spotlight in the Corner.  I got a chance to sit down with Mike so he could give us his life story and I was surprised that he had done so many things, but win a brick.  With said brick in tow, it appears Mike has done it all:

 

December 25, some 2000 years ago, Mike tells me he is born.  He is aging like me apparently.

 

Before coming to the CAC, the MixTape led a very extravagant life.  In 800A.D. he rid Ireland of all the snakes and Italians, but let some other Irishman take all the credit.  In 1215 he made King John sign the Magna Carta, which led to the eventual neutering of the royal family.  In 1773, he put his teabag in the Boston Harbor, but it is the Harbor that shrinks at the sight of such manhood.  Of course, days later, local revolutionaries bite his style.  In 1945, he took a dump while flying over Hiroshima, contributing to the end of the War and current uninhabitable state of the land.

 

1996 years after birth, the MixTape becomes a staple at CAC because we donít have any good rebounders according to him…As Mike told me, ìA Wolverine may be able to hunt better than me, but there is no way he can out rebound me.î

 

2 years later, the MixTape begins a torrent love affair with J-Lo (the actress, not the sensational CAC persona).

 

J-Lo has to have the MixTapeís baby aborted because her womb would not be strong enough to handle his seed.  If only her stomach was as strong as her booty.

 

The MixTape dumps J-Lo and she is so depressed she will rebound with the first thing she sees.  Ah-Ha.  That explains the whole Affleck thing.

 

3 years later, he is happily wed and now has the brick in his clenches thanks to some serious choking by yours truly and some great play by his Donnellys.

 

Yet again, losing to the MixTape is bad enough, but when you lose the championship only to have to praise the man who robbed you is just the ultimate way to collect on a lost bet.  Congrats, Mike.

 

On behalf of society everywhere, we are thankful for penicillin, Chuck Norris, and the MixTape.

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