TiCal’s Corner: Cold Blooded

For the second straight season, Cold Blooded has taken down the “Best Run League at CAC” aka, the Sunday Morning Hungover League.  The CB boys managed to take home the coveted “Golden 40oz” last Sunday with a win over a very talented Tiger Style.  Over the past 2 years, they have been a staple around CAC and continue to epitomize what CAC basketball is all about – talent, no crying to officials, and their checks always clear when they pay for the leagues…on the FIRST try.  Its time they get their due and step into the Corner for some media praise…

1.  Please, BRIEFLY, tell us how all you guys met and came to the glorious world at CAC?

Josh Watchel: The team actually first started as free agent team in the B1 league.  Nim, Phil, and I were all original members of that team and the team name was given to us by the commissioner (I believe Tibbs ran that league).  We went on to win the league but lost the unification game.  Since then, we have added Jay and Steve to create the perfect balance and chemistry that you see on the court today.

Nim Cohen: The real unsung hero of that very first Cold Blooded team was Ziad Abdul Razzak. He is desperately missed. We like to think he is still out there on a court cashing in two-handed overhead line-drives from the elbow. Also, Josh failed to mention that we lost that first unification game because we had 2 guys show up. A foreshadowing, if you will, of missed games to come.

Phil Lord: Our very first game Josh had a triple double and I had like 25.  Nim was not in attendance, I knew from that point forward we would someday build our dynasty.  And Nim had it right we lost the unification game in our first season by 50…

Steve Chuilli: I was fortunate enough to be recruited by this already unstoppable force – I simply play my role for food – Phil pays me Raising Cane’s chicken if we win and I don’t foul out.

Jason Chiverton: I don’t know what these guys are talking about, I met most of the guys at a “Magic: The Gathering competition in St. Louis.”  And Phil sells my dealer’s dealer his stuff.

2.  At first, “it” was used to describe ancient ruling family kingdoms.  Then, “it” was used as the title to the most prolific day time television soap opera (that’s right J.R. and Dallas! – take your ten gallon hat and sit on it!  Rotating optional), then Jay Z borrowed the word for one of his songs with Mia, NOW, I am using “it” in this question:   Is Cold Blooded the greatest “dynasty” that men’sCambridge recreational basketball has ever seen?

JW: I would have to say dynasty in the making — ask us again in three more seasons when we’re 5 time defending champions

PL: Although Jhend is departing us and there is talk of other Cold Blooded Vets leaving, we will continue to hold this spot on top of the Sunday Morning League for years to come.

SC: I’d call it the greatest dynasty if I felt that was sufficient..but it’s not. This is something greater.

JC: Holla if you want drama with The Dynasty; Amil, Bleek, Jigga and… Sigel – Desert Eagle, dawg, who else but me?

NC: I like to think we rank 3rd behind the Ming dynasty and Dynasty Warriors: Gundam

3.  Has your team said “No” more to anal probes or to shooting the 3?

PL: Man do I wish O’cal got to see Big Brian Ross launch 3’s, and if he was in the 4v4 league he would be launching them up from way beyond half court..

NC: I’ll answer that question with a parable. When a certain former employee number ocho, now sadly a few shimmys away from bankruptcy, was asked why Cold-Blooded shot so many from behind the arc, he wisely replied — “because there are no fours”.

SC: No comment.

JC:  This is a ridiculous question.  100% of the time we say “no” to anal probes.  -100% of the time we say “no” to shooting the 3.  You should really stop watching the X-files. 

4.  Should Wall dunks be allowed at CAC?  If so, how much should they count for?

JW: They absolutely should be allowed, along with wall blocks too.  The crowd loves them and when it comes down to it, it’s all about doing what it takes to fill the stands right? +1 point for a wall dunk in the open, +2 points for a wall dunk in traffic…

NC: If we’re going to start creating extra points for Josh’s benefit, we should probably also penalize him 2 fouls for every offensive forearm shiver.

PL: Josh is such an innovator

SC: I’ll say yes seeing as Josh has perfected the art – 6 pointer, 3 foul shots worth 2pts each if fouled.

Jay Henderson: On a serious note, wall-dunks should be allowed, but only on break-aways otherwise as footage of JW’s Superman Smash leaks, every Sunday will be a near death experience for all participants

JC: Given that I badly missed the two dunks I attempted this season, shamefully yes. Coincidentally I was going to ask if CAC had a new Slamball league on their radar yet?  

5.  Is the “Jersey Shore” just another American fad, or is the GTL lifestyle here to stay?

JW: I just invested my entire 401K in Ed Hardy so I certainly hope it keeps going for a while longer.

NC: Oops. Josh, I wish you had told me, I just bought us all Affliction t-shirts to wear under our jerseys for next season.

PL:  Well I just went out and got a ton of spray tan products so…

SC: It’s the GTL “lifestyle” cause its GTL – FOR LIFE…. p.s., you might wanna invest some of that 401k in Tide detergent too

JC: Don’t know, I’ll ask Snooki once I get off parole for knocking her out.

6.  Why is the Sunday Morning League, the “best run league at CAC?”

NC: Please, Tommy has a big enough ego already

PL: Who said it was the best run league…. BOOM ROASTED

SC: There’s a golden 40oz for a trophy – ‘nough said

JW: Is it or is everyone just so hungover that nobody remembers the fact that every game starts late and write-ups only come out on time when Tommy has a big day…served!

JH: TK is really, really good at gchat

JC: Is this like the last day of school when they try to give out awards to all dumbass kids so that no one feels left out?  Sorry, but Kittenstyle and CACless just got worked in the playoffs – go down to Michael’s Arts & Crafts and buy you own gold stars, we’re not giving you any.  And tell those jerks at the front desk that as champs we should have access to the gym towels.

Tical:  How dare you come into my Corner and treat me like one of my escorts. That stings, that stings!  

7.  Ok, this is a “throw your teammate under the bus question.”  You cannot answer for yourself.  Someone else on you team must answer: Saturday night comes calling, what is everyone on CB doing…

JW:  Bringing girls back to the apartment only to ignore them so we can throw dumbbells through a tv screen and yell at our neighbors until 5am…

PL: From what I hear Jhend is hanging out with a European TV show host or he and josh are drinking til 6am, nothing too exciting… but I think that is why we need to do some team bonding

NC: Nobody really knows what Phil is up to, except that it probably involves private jets and dubious Columbian cartels. All I can say is that every time he misses a game because he is “down south for work”, he comes back with bigger rims on his Batmobile. It also unclear whether Steve, aka the big Ivan brother, is involved somehow, or if he just spent his Saturdays breaking rocks and logging timber.

JH:  If Water & Ham is on the schedule for Sunday you know Chiverton is getting his 12 hours …Also, rumor has it that the Lord is also Lil’ Wayne’s #1 supplier of Sizzurp.

JC: Sunday morning is part of Saturday night for this team.

8.  Who has the best “PWH” story?  (playing while hungover).  Throw some out there. What did you do the night before, and how did you play/how did you feel (throwing up, passing out, falling down, etc…)

PL: The story of josh attempting to bring a surfboard into a bar then the next day dropping like 30 while wearing a wig the entire game after halloween

SC: I second Phil’s comment

NC: All I can say is that you don’t really want to be downwind of Chiverton on those early morning games.

JH: Have had some good ones ….. the wig was classic ( I was also dressed as Robert Downey Jr. from Tropic Thunder that night) … Another good one was on the eve of the championship game in the first infamous season where Josh and I received a phone call from Nim 5 minutes AFTER the game was supposed to start and we had yet to find our ride to the game, personally, I was a disaster.  We had thrown an “after party” into the very early morning, luckily for us, our hangover had yet to kick-in, we were still drunk.

JC: The time I pooped on Nim during a game per the above.

9.  Should John Calipari aka Chokey McGee be allowed to coach College Hoops?

PL: If he ever gets kicked out, I’m sure he would do well at CAC.

JC:  Cold Blooded doesn’t associate with chumps.  Except Jay, who called Cal to get his SAT scores changed so he could land that new job.  Weird that he simultaneously enrolled in Kentucky and signed up for the women’s practice team?

JW: I’m pretty sure that paying players and bribing refs is not only allowed at CAC, but encouraged so it’s only a matter of time till he moves from college to a real league

NC: Isn’t that why the CAC staff/old-timer teams win so many games? You would know O’Cal.

Tical:  If it weren’t for getting every call, I would never win a game.  Apparently, Danny the ref and DMac, did NOT get that memo in the Semi’s of the Hungover League and the A1/A2 playoffs.  Everyone needs to keep the media on their side.  I can make people and I can break people at CAC.  All it takes is one blog or me getting Phil to plant his stash in their locker while a convenient call is made to Cambridge’s finest.

10.  You guys have accomplished so much here at CAC, what’s next for Cold Blooded?

PL: charging fans to watch us play on Sundays.. .with that money we will fly Jhend in to make the Sunday games

SC: Skies the limit – we don’t predict the future we just dominate the present and celebrate the past

JW: Letting all the fortune and fame go to our heads, ruining our lives and ending up on an episode of True Hollywood Story

JH:  5am Sunday Morning Fung Wah trips back from NY to play on Sundays.

NC: We’re actually putting together a curling team. Look for us at the next Winter Olympics in Sochi 2014.

JC: A marquee showdown with Prince’s squad on season 6 of the Chappelle Show.

Gentlemen, it was a pleasure to have you step into the Corner.  You definitely brought “it” as far as guests go.  Those ghostwriters earned their bank.  Best of luck defending the title and setting the standard for franchises here at CAC.