TiCal’s Corner: Damian Ruff Ryder…Ride or Die

Today�s guest is another great addition to the CAC, seemingly inbred, staff family who is in his third season as a CAC player, but his first as a top-notch CAC staff technician.  The Ruff Rider has a lethal trey that I have taken advantage of for 2 A1 seasons now and already has a title as he and his Separated At Birth crew took home the B1 Unification title in the Fall.  Damian will be covering the A 5v5 this winter, but more importantly, I get to get my rookie hazing on…

 

(Tical yells from the basement) Mom!!!  Get me the CAC Paddle and the Meatloaf!!!

 

Damian, it�s a pleasure to have you in the Corner…

 

Glad to be here.  What took so long to get me an interview?  I thought immediately when I signed up to do stats this was a requirement. 

 

I am only one man (and I use the term �man� very loosely with a well earned poetic license).  Tibbs doesn�t have time to do interviews as he deals with 1,234,249 CAC teams and has to tend to his soon to be 25pt/game ball and chain.  Plus, since the Wolverine has been inducted into the Hall of Fame, the man doesn�t have to blog anymore.  The Semi-Retired legend just tends to his kitty and eats his fruity pebbles.  However, with Gerrity stepping up with some GREAT blogs, I get a feeling that the CAC community is in for a treat.  I hope he starts interviewing people.  I see potential…

 

I hope Tical is a Method Man reference.  If so, you gained a lot of cool points.

 

Of course it�s a Method Man reference.  The original CAC scribe, Diesel coined the nickname a long time ago.  Plus, me and Meth are related.

 

(Ruff looks perplexed)  You…don�t look related.

 

Yeah, man, we both got that Black Irish thing going on, like Donovan McNabb.  I�m half…but no one cares who is in my Family Tree.  I could name drop all night.  This is about you, so let’s get this on…

 

1.  As always, please tell us a little about yourself and how you came to CAC…

 

I�m 31 years young.  I grew-up in Roxbury but have lived in Dorchester and Mattapan too.  Right now I represent the W (that�s right Watertown).  I didn�t start playing basketball until I was 12 years-old.  My first sport was soccer.  I have played with, against and witnessed some of the best basketball players this city has ever had.

 

Coming to CAC was no accident like your conception Tical. 

 

I thank God for the broken condom and lack of a �pull out� by my pops every day.

 

I love basketball and always look to play in the most competitive leagues available if it works with my schedule and I can field a team.  I had heard that CAC had a really competitive league inCharlestown.  I entered a team and it was definitely competitive and we unfortunately didn�t win the league.  I had always wanted to come back to CAC and try the A1 draft league.  Last year I came back to CAC and right now I play in 3 leagues.

 

Once you�re in, you�re in.  CAC In, Never CAC Out.

 

2.  You are a Newton North boy and I have seen some of those Newton North cats (from his Sunday Morning League), so my question is, why is all the basketball talent in Newton North?  Did you guys trade all the hot women to Newton South for anyone who could ball (I once dated the supposed �hottest chick� from Newton South and she looked like the monster from Beowulf.  She looked nothing like her Match.com picture!!!)

 

You see Sean that�s your problem, go directly to the source (the school) not a website to get a girl.  I�m currently with the hottest girl from Newton North so I feel privileged.

 

See, that�s what I mean!  I did try to go to the source and explain that I was trying to pick up chicks in person because websites can be so misleading, but that asshole principal at your alma mater kicked me out.  It totally ruined last weekend for me.  But I digress…

 

So you got the proverbial (and maybe literal) �Prom Queen,� and apparently, you�re part of town had all the ballers too.  So give me the explanation on how all that talent came out of NN

 

Well, there are three explanations for the talent at Newton North.

 

1)      The Metco Program For those who don�t know, the Metco program bussed inner-city kids to suburban high schools.  I was apart of this program and there were lots of schools that benefited from this program.

 

Wait, I thought the only purpose of the Metco Program was to give Dennis and Callahan (no relation) racially motivated jokes?  Someone had to keep up with Don Imus and his �nappy headed hoes� skit?

 

Some people are just idiots.

 

Aint that the truth, but why do they all have to play in the B1 East?  Just kidding!!!  So go on, why else has NN been able to sprout so many ballers.

 

2)      NAA This was a very competitive youth basketball league.  I definitely played in it.  They keep stats, had a pre-season work-out where kids got rated and then were drafted by various coaches.  I think I still have the record for most points in a quarter in which I scored 24 points.

 

3)      X-Factor For some reason or another at least 5 kids in every league in Massachusetts went to Newton North.  Don�t believe?  Well ask.

 

3.  Now that you are doing stats and write ups, do you have a newfound respect for all that Tibbs does in one week…Well, newfound implies that you once had respect for him, so would it be fair to say that at least you have some respect for the Player Prez?

 

Believe it or not, I�ve always had respect for Tibbs.  Tibbs has never disrespected me so I have no reason to not respect him.  I respect him most whenever he guards me.  For some reason my shots always fall.

 

I will also say that keeping stats is definitely challenging so anyone who does this I have the utmost respect for.

 

4.  Who are the worst 5 NBA players that you have ever seen and why?

 

Only 5?  Ok, these are in no particular order.

 

Kwame Brown:  He actually wasn�t a terrible terrible player but c�mon son.  He was the # 1 pick in the draft, was drafted by the greatest player ever Michael Jordan and just never lived up to his hype or expectations.

 

Michael Olowokandi:  Probably the biggest bust as a # 1 pick that wasn�t due to injury.  Amare Stoudemire had one of the best dunks of all time on him.  He actually ended up on the Celtics and rumor has it you could catch him and Acie Earl at Brandeis parties.

 

Jason Collins:  I can�t believe he is even in the NBA still.  His career averages are terrible.  Granted he�s tall but I really can�t name anything he�s ever done significant in the NBA.  I honestly would take any center in the NBA over him for the whole span of his career.

 

Ed O�Bannon: He was the reason UCLA won the championship in 1995.  I mean I never thought he would be a superstar in the NBA but he only lasted 2 seasons and was just too slow to play in the league, maybe it was knee injuries but Google him and look at all he did before playing in the NBA.

 

Miles Simon:  He played on and was the leading scorer on crazy Arizona Wildcats team with Mike Bibby.  His game was always kind of awkward and I thought he would have a tough time in the NBA but he only lasted a few games and was unable to land on any teams.  Prior to his Arizona days, I actually only saw him play in a NBA summer league game and he just didn�t look like the same player it was sad.

 

Just as long as Scalabrine was left off that list, I can live with it!

 

People can say what they want about him but if he joined any of the CAC leagues he�d win every award possible. 

 

5.Will Separated At Birth Repeat this season in the B1?

 

YES

 

If everyone on SAB had to live under one roof and be filmed 24 hours a day in one of CAC�s new Reality Shows, �Beyond the Walls�, please give me a little insight into everyone�s personality.

 

Due to my contractual commitment to Frail I cannot reveal that type of information.  SAB is a brotherhood, once you are in you can�t get out.  Well you can get out but again I can�t reveal that sort of information, nor would I ever want to go through with it to get out. 

 

Anyone who wants out has to serve up a warm cup of fellacio to Frail huh?  He would do that!

 

As far as SAB goes, our chemistry on and off the court jelled so well.  This obviously led to our championship.  If this show did actually happen it would be highly rated and good times.

 

6.  Toughest question of the interview:  Who has shot more 3�s in their lifetime, you or Tommy K aka RoY?

 

This is actually an easy question.  The answer is RoY without question.  When I was in my prime I rarely shot 3�s because I was quicker than everyone and no one could contain me.  I started shooting 3�s my Junior Year in high school to add to my arsenal.  RoY was jacking 3�s out of the womb.  I will say that at the rate I am at now I will probably catch him though.

 

7.  What past job would you rather leave off your resume: Martha Cokely�s campaign manager or Ron Jeremy�s fluffer (or feel free to write one in)?

 

Only because it�s you Sean will I answer this question.  My sophomore year in high school I needed basketball sneakers.  Once the cost went to $100 my mom said I had to get them on my own.  Being a responsible young man and desperate, I got a job at Taco Time.  Taco Time was like Taco Bell and Anna�s Taqueria combined LMAO.  My first week on the job they had me making tacos.  Mind you, I had never cooked in my life but was reading a recipe on making taco�s.  My third week on the job the place went out of business.  Could it have been the tacos?  I will never know but I did end up getting my sneakers, 2 pairs actually.

 

Sometimes, the Corner can get emotional when we go down memory lane.  Thanks for sharing.  No extra charge for the tears rolling down all you loyal Corner readers� eyes.

 

8.  Super Bowl prediction…who you got (give us a final score!)?

 

I actually want the Saints to win but don�t think it can happen.  Colts win 34-24.

 

I have heard the spread will be the Saints getting 5pts.  In all honesty, I would take the points.  I see whoever has the ball last, wins this game either on a TD or a field goal.  That being said, I got to go with whoever is getting points.

 

If there is a God, it will be leaked over the next week that Peyton Manning was an accomplice in the Marvin Harrison and Plaxico Burress� shootings, thus making him unavailable to play.  I don�t care how it happens but someone out there better find a way to get Peyton�s sperm on one of those guns!  Women�s League, time to earn your keep around here!  (I�d man up myself but I�m not as young and attractive as I use to be)

 

9.  Who are the top 5 players at CAC right now on the court?

 

I�m only going to pick Wall Ball Players because I only played A 5V5 once.  I will say when I did play A 5V5 in Charlestown the team that represented Charlestown High was crazy.  They had a female coach.  To this day it�s probably the best team I have played against in a league.

 

5th man would be Jared Perrine.  I was one of the biggest nay sayers when Tibbs gave Jared the MVP in the Spring of 2009 but the more and more I saw and played against him I was impressed with all the things he could do on the court.  Look at his number they really don�t lie.

 

Big man would be Chris Kerr.  I actually played against Chris in the A5v5 Charlestown league.  We beat his team but he was a beats and the only player on his team.  I also was on the court when he scored 63 points after playing a game before that.

 

Combo player would be Preston Raymond.  He�s a tough cover for anyone and can do it all except ref.

 

Guards: Me and you.  No explanation is needed.

 

What is your favorite aspect of CAC hoops?

 

There really is a lot which you don�t get from other leagues which make it fun.  The stats, message board, players, staff etc…  If I had to name one it�s got to be the stats though.

 

It is shocking to hear that someone at CAC loves the stats…absolutely shocking.

 

10.  What intangibles will you bring as a CAC staffer and what do you predict your legacy at CAC will be?

 

I�m a leader, like to have fun and enjoy life.  My legacy will be a winner that played hard and treated everyone with respect.

 

Damian, it was an entertaining pleasure to have you step into the Corner, good luck on Sundays and in the Romper Room on Wednesday nights….(P.S.  Lets get that brick son!)

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.