Tical’s Corner – Jon Mazzone

This weekís guest is none other than my fellow Big Nice teammate, Jon Mazzone.  Ever since the day he joined the gym, Jon has been a born CAC winner.  Heís known for lethal 3-pt shot and ability to keep his composure under the most extreme conditions.  Although Tibbs has a ton of on the court animosity for my man, everyone else seems to be a fan.  Today, I get him to step in the corner to our recent success in the red-headed step child of a league known as the A2, and other interesting commentary

 

Jon, thanks for taking the time to sit down with me.  Thereís nothing more pleasing than media accessibility to todayís stars.  

1.  As always, please give us the low down on your stellar past.  Where you grew up, life/basketball highlights low lightsÖ

 

My so-called stellar past started on a dirt road in the blazing metropolis of Littleton Mass. The youngest of 3 boys, I received my comupins on several occasions. I then moved ontoActon Boxboro where my life took a turn for the worse. The combined varsity basketball record my junior and senior year, 4-36, so I guess you could say that is a low light. From there is was on to good ole Westfield State for 4 yrs of hoops, drinking and some other hazy activities that I am unable to discuss in order to protect the innocent, but mostly b/c I canít remember.

 

2.  What page are you on from the Ticalís Corner with Ed?  I just got to the part where he was marooned on an island with Dr Everything and a Buckhunter arcade game.

 

Itís not so much the length of his responses, itís the fact that I went to state school and never saw anything resembling those words in my studies. I thought Ed was for the people, but man, I donít know after that.

 

Luckily my 4 yrs at Harvard Beauty Academy paid off and I could pick up what he was putting down because I could see how the lay person would get shook by his argot.

 

3.  Is the Cougar Den, excuse me, The Warren Tavern/Turin Dome the new Studio 54?  Weíve all had some surprisingly great/fun nights there recently.

 

I go for the fish and chips.  The added attractions are just a bonus in my mind. I mean they already move the timeline up for paying the cover from 9 to 8. Whatís next?  We have to start dressing up in lavish costumes to gain entrance? What is this crazy world coming to! Next thing you know Fred Bermont will have hair, hate lighthouses, maps and bridges?

 

Or Turin will offer his services as the Cougar Denís official designated driver?

 

4.  Why was the KG trade good or bad for the Celtics?

 

I was skeptical about the trade when news first broke (the second time). I thought we were giving up a good amount, but then watched the press conference and decided to suck it for 3-4 yrs of fun and enjoy it.

 

I totally agree, Ainge has been rebuilding for years now and Im sick of it.  I want 3 years of fresh air.

 

5.  Favorite CAC moment, on or off the court?

 

Asides from 3 different championships, with a 4th hopefully on the way, it would have to be my first game ever in the hollowed halls of the then CRFC gym. I was given a technical foul by none other than the Wolverine for some choice words about his officiating, or lack there of.  Since that episode, I have managed to keep my composure, as you have witnessed first hand.

 

6.  Haha, speaking of that, how do you manage to keep your composure all the time on the court?  Do you use the Serenity Now approach or some recent Meditation technique that celebrities are using?

 

Sometimes itís not easy, but I generally use the Lloyd Braun Serenity Now approach. On a side note, I am one hell of a computer salesman and will be getting that water pick any day now.

 

7.   How many sides are there to Chris Adams when he has a drop of alcohol in him?

 

Good timing on this one. I just spent a weekend in Newport with the C.A.C alcohol in moderation spokesman.  I have seen many sides to one Chris Adams, dating back to college orientation when we first met. I would say there are at least 7 sides to him; some cannot be described in this forum. However, I think we have all seen the arm around the neck WWF side to him, the one that requires a chiropractic re-alignment the next day.

 

Every time I drink with him, I have a great time.  You guys must have had waaaaay too much fun in school.  In fact, maybe if you didnít room together youíd have hit the books a lil harder and been able to understand Finnís patois.

 

On a side note, the worst semester I ever had at school was the one I spent rooming with Chris while he pulled down a 4.0 and decided to go to Northeastern. Once we found out the Chinese Restaurant delivered and took checks, we were doomed.

 

8.  What advice would you give Lindsay Lohan to steer her life in the direction yours has been?  You know, how you have managed to never put any intoxicants into what you call your body, ìthe Temple of Mazzoneî

 

These young celebs today, they have no boundaries. I would highly suggest to Lindsay that she look more closely at the example that Brittany Spears is setting and follow that. Although it would be fun to see her go from Herbie the Love Bug to Herbie loves BugÖ..so I may sit back and watch this one from afar. I canít share the ìTemple of Mazzoneî secrets with unwilling participants.

 

As I have learned many a times Mazz, you can bring a horse to water, but you canít make her sleep with you.

 

9.  Me and the Wolverine are in a heated bidding war to obtain the first publicizable pictures of the Commishís upcoming bundle of joy, who you think will prevail?

 

Wow, I must admit that I am torn on this one. My friends on the Wolverine Haters would like nothing more than to see the Wolverine fail, but the Wolverine also combined the Local Hero (Efizzle) and myself on his 3-3 team back on that fateful December day and we have been taking CRFC by storm since. However, you are the point guard of the team, the heart and soul leader of the Big Nice, except of course when those profanity laced tirades come out of nowhere and I have to calm you down with a timeout and speech of composure. Since I have to decide, I am gonna say while you and the Wolverine are vying for the rights, Tibbs swoops in out of nowhere and steals the lady, I mean pictures, marking the first time Tibbs has ever really come through in the clutch. 

 

Iím not touching that one, although I do love the on court/lockeroom envy rivalry you two have.  However I will suggest we copyright a new phrase for Tibbs.  Everytime Tibbs hits a shot, and we wonít hold our breaths, I think we should start screaminí ìHeís in the Mazzone!î

 

10.  Finally Jon, leave me with the greatest piece of advice anyone has ever given to you:

 

ìA flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.î ñ T. Webb

 

And a Ticalís Corner without the proper colloquial speech is just a Wolverine Trap.  I love the thesaurus button on Word Docs.  Jon, thanks for your time and letís take home the A2 trophy tonight!

 

OíCal, itís been my pleasure to take part in Ticalís Corner. I look forward to future endeavors with The Big Nice franchise. Now if you excuse me, I have to go recharge my batteries, you sandbagginí son of a bitch.