Tical’s Corner: K-Lid

Todayís guest may be worried about his ìprofessionalî reputation by stepping into the Corner, so we will only call him K-Lid to hide his true identity so people out in the real world will refrain from drawing a negative inference by being interviewed by yours truly.  Itís nothing but Corner Envy if you ask me, but apparently there are some fun haters out there that would hold a sense of humor against some people and do a Google search, the proverbial rubber glove search mind you.

K-Lid, itís a pleasure to have you in the Corner…

Wow.  Nice first question.  Am I in ìLoose Balls  with Tibbsî?  Do I have to write something here?  I really donít like the usual banter of ìthe pleasure is all mineî or ìthanks for having meî or ìI feel so lucky you would pick me for the infamous cornerî or  ìpleasure is my middle nameî ñ Iíd rather write something like Ali Velshiís head is squeaky clean shiny and Anderson Cooperís hair is impossibly white.

I understand you are worried about people finding out your ìreal worldî identity but did you have to use Snoopís ìblurrî from the Nothing But a G Thang video?  The only Cornerís I film are with women and thatís only if they use the upstairs toilet.

 

Youíre totally going to get busted by Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC.  Youíre gonna some how top the guy who walked in with his birthday suit, a bag of ìgroceriesî and white ankle length socks.  But, uh, back to the lecture at hand…

 

1.  Please, mysterious K-Lid, tell us about yourself and how you came to CAC, without compromising your true identity because no one will be able to tell who you are by the end of this interview anyways…

 

The Basics:

Lived most of my life in the Midwest.  Spent a year in Cali.  A year now in Boston.  Iíve got more miles on me than a French whore.  Iím pretty much obsessed with every facet of the game of  basketball.  I am now in finance working at an esteemed financial institution and lucky to still be employed.  I did not steal your tax money.  I did not decorate my office with a $2,400 trash can.  I did not push your childís stroller onto Storrow Drive.  Iím a good guy.

 

The Interesting:

I can explain to you why the sky is blue and why there are 24 hours in a day.  I get really uncomfortable approaching an intersection when the lightís been green for a long time.  The kid who did the Daft Hands YouTube video that has like 30 million hits went to my undergrad.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2cYWfq–Nw

 

The kid who got the ESPY for the best shot of the year also came from a rival basketball high school.  Apparently, he did some other ish I wasnít aware of ñ amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSPL7ZCTu_U

 

 

 

2.  You carried T-Hend, both days in the 4th Annual Andy Danielson Tourney, to 2 championship games:  Are you even human?

 

Thanks for noticing.  Are you man-crushing on me?

 

Donít flatter yourself K-Lid.  I know I got a reputation for being easier than a 1st grade puzzle, but you are like 10 years too old for me.

 

What are you talking about, Iím only 26.

 

Oh, dam, I only thought you were 24.  Man, you look old for your age.

 

(awkward silence)

 

Riiiiiiiiight.  Um, as much as ìJumpmanî or as Iíd like to call him ìThe Curious Caseî (of Benjamin Button) (I swear the kid is 24 going on 48) gets a bad rep for being a bad teammate, he was a beast that weekend and played solid all-around ball.  When you have me, Terry, and the not so Sergeon General make the finals against some NFL football player, weíll take it.  Though I think Denny Green sums it best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAN9ORwsiVA

 

3.  Are you upset that you are in the Corner and not inside JBerrís Box right now?

 

Do birds fly south in the winter?  Is the world round?  Did Columbus sail the Ocean blue?  Are guys who frost their spiked tips wearing striped button-down shirts and drinking jag-bombs and Heinekens douches?

 

4.  Initial reactions to attending your first LNO?  Give me some of your favorite blurry memories?

 

The main events that took place have been well documented on the message boards.  Some others:

  1. Getting introduced to and being asked to play wingman for a supposed ìdime.î  Jagshemesh!
  2. Promptly denying such request after said introduction takes place.
  3. JamBall eating chicken tenders at like 11:00. 
  4. Terry and Tibbs trying to figure out how they were going to tell Serge he wasnít going to be on their 3v3 team the next day.

 

5.  Who are K-Lidís fave five right now at CAC and why (personality or playing talent wise)?

 

  1. My homeboy Jean-Claude Van Tran:   He can whoop me in Madden, but then pick up my tab at the 99s right after.  (BTW, I own him in NBA2K9 and FIFA09).
  2. The Sergeon General:  Heís got love for the game and claims he used to be able to dunk.  Can someone whoís been at CAC for a while verify this please?
  3. Squid aka Sam Quinn:  His tentacles swat any balls near the hole.  Heís good at blocking shots too.  He also throws good house parties and lets me use his room to suck face.
  4. Jamil:  His sports IQ is almost on par with mine and I think itís pretty cool he just wants to put a squad together to win the ship without himself playing.
  5. THend/Lawson:  This oneís a tie bc if you put Lawsonís offensive game with Terryís Defensive game, our Genzyme squad wouldíve been undefeated.  Also, these are my soccer hooligan buddiesÖMANCHESTER UNITED FC ñ Weíll Never Die.
  6. MORROCO:  Oh, you donít know who that is either?  Maybe CUBA can help.

 

6.  When is the juice not worth the squeeze?

 

HA!?! What?  Finally, a worthy question. When the juice commits another crime after he was given a get out of jail free card?  I know, I know, thatís all I got on this one. Answer me this wise sage, when is the squeeze worth the juice?

 

When she says the 10th is on the house.  It makes the 9 times you paid before all worth the squeeze if you ask this gentleman who loves to pay for a milked prostate.

 

7.  If you could Twitter anyone in the world right now, who would it be and what would said Twitter contain?

 

Evan OíDorney:  ìOMG, dude.  I just watched you own that anchor on CNN.   LOL, LMAO, ROFL.î

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhXKXQeLYKc

 

8.  Favorite aspect of CAC?

 

So speaking of twitter, CAC is more than a bball league.  Itís a social networking phenomenon.  Itís really no different than Facebook if you think about it.  You have all these ìFriendsî you barely know.  Some are super creepy. Some you donít even like.  Few you actually talk to.  Also, Bill Fratelli takes the art of Poking to a new level. Gross.

 

What improvements would you make to the CAC experience ?(at this point the Commish would like me to remind you that you do not get any royalties for any ideas we steal)

 

  • Institute a 24 second shot clock
  • Move the 3 point line back
  • Require 6th grade English Equivalency for people who write
  • Give the Gallagher Brothers a raise for putting up with Genzyme this past season
  • CAC Pub Crawl
  • Allow hazing of rookies
  • Create, market, and sell a CAC trivia or board game

 

9.  Greatest Song Produced by Dr. Dre:

 

A) Forgot about Dre

 

B) Aint Nothiní But a G Thang

Definitely B.  Takes me back to when I was 6 and my wardrobe consisted of alternating between my generic Bulls Jersey from Marshalls, my Orlando Magic Starterís jacket, and my No Fear t-shirt.  ìYou miss 100% of the shots you donít take.î

 

C) No Diggity

 

D)  Just Dance

 

10.  I got a gambling itch that Iím hopiní you can scratch in the right place. Who is winning the NCAA Final Four and who is winning the NBA championship?  Win I win millions I promise to cut you in or give you another interview.  (To some a shot in the Corner is Priceless btw!)

 

I think UNC will beat Michigan State in a landslide.  I would also guess Ty Lawson gets like 8 steals and Ellingsworth is named final 4 MVP.  What do I know though?

 

Lakers over Cavs in 6.  Sorry Cís.

Sidenote:  LBJ will be MVP and JJ Reddick will bring back the awkward cutoff from his Duke days for next season.

 

Wow, you are either really Ms. Cleo in disguise or you are two weeks late!  Just kidding man, this was definitely worth the wait and I agree, unless the Cís can get healthy, fast, we will be watching the finals.  But watching Kobe hoist the trophy may just light a homicidal rage in KG so bad that we go 98-0 Next season, so it may work to our advantage.  K-Lid, it was a pleasure to have you step in, go in peace to love and serve the lord.

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