Tical’s Corner – Steve Martin

Most of you CAC ham and eggers just go through the motions and treat us CAC employees as a dime a dozen, but most of you donít realize that Steve has been around since Dinosaurs used the gym to run ball.  Steve has been a manager for years at the club, specializing in being the clubís running aficionado.  More importantly, if you ever played a game on Monday or Wednesday, chances are, the always smiling, bald headed face of Steve Martin has scored your game, especially if you played against me or Tibbs.  Today, I get him to step into the spotlight to discuss the old school CRFC vs. the new school CAC and other lifeís mysteries.  Weíre making history today as the first non-player to ever be interviewed steps into the Corner.


Steve, thanks for taking the time to site down and talk with us.


1.  First off Steve, give us your tail, where you grew up, how you landed at CAC, then whatever it was called, etcÖ

I  grew up on the mean streets of Somerville Ma. Also known as ìthe all American cityîÖI was just getting out of my 10th or so rehab stint and I just  thought maybe Iíll try to be a little less self  destructive and sober up a little bit..


Rehab?  I hate quitters, but I forgive you Steve.  You are definitely the Big Toe everyone loves to have on their foot here at CAC.


2.  OK, right off the bat, describe the difference between the ball played, weíll call it pre-Commish and the hoop played under the Commishís regime.

we just ran non stop .. if you were out of shape you didnít last long .. we didnít stop every other minute and wine about every ticky tack foul or non call.. also, we played very hard but very clean ..today when guys get beat of the dribble they slam you into the wall.. I see guys get undercut, there is just no respect for the fellow baller Ö


I would definitely say there are a good amount of people that just straight up hack every time they get on the court and the sad thing is they have no clue what they are doing.  Worst people to ref too, because these are the people who donít know the game and are screaming at you for calls.


3.  Who was the best player you saw Pre- Commish era and describe why he or she was the best?

Two guys come to mind.. Mike Fahey who had a try out with a few pro teams .. he was strong and had unlimited range ..and John Kuster .. ì I donít know if I spelled that rightî.. he played 4 or so years in the proís and was the starting point guard with Phil Ford on the North Carolina  team that lost to  Marquette  is the finals one year.. he had a cross over dribble that would break you in halfÖ


Disappointed I didnít see your name on that list, but if I had rephrased the question, who had the best bank shot in the game, I know that was all you.

3a.  Commish era?

Tough one here..  Iíd say Big Mac. His name is all over those banners hanging on the wall 


The Chise is definitely the most dominant player I have ever seen in the CAC cage, but would have loved to see him and Feddy St. Pierre go at it.  I would definitely put the Chise, GP, and JB in his prime as the best and most dominant players in the Commish era.


4.  Is there too much whining in basketball?

Now this is an easy one Ö a one word answerÖYES.


I completely agree, watching the NBA now is like watching the youtube clip of Rosie OíDonnell and Liz Hasselback bitching back and forth.  Where are all the men at?  Too many boys in the NBA now.


5.  What should the Celts do with the 5th pick?

Trade it if you can get some good vet help ..they donít need to get younger ..young teams donít win in the NBA.


Couldnít agree with you more.  By the time this team matures, Pierce isnít going to be the same player.  He is on the Johnny Damon decline and has at best 2-3 solid more years left in him before he turns into Gary Payton and starts backing up on championship teams NOT in Boston.


6.  Did you forget the first time you took me out running and you basically had to carry me back like the scene from the end of Bodyguard yet?  I still think you pulled off a 5 minute mile with the 150pds of dead weight on your backÖ..

Hey Iím stronger than I look..lolÖsean  I thought you were faking it .. I figured carrying you back was a better option than the mouth to mouth you were begging  for..


I knew I should have roofied your water-bottle.

7.  Who will Steve Martin be pulling for in 2008 for pres?

To be honest with you they all disgust me ..iím going with the write in voteÖ donít be surprised if your on my short list


Steve, appreciate the thought, but I wonít reach the age requirement for another 12 years, or pass the drug test for another 6 months.


8.  Favorite Diesel moment?

There are so many I donít know were to start Öhis whole life is a non stop comedy act ..reality TV at its best….But I definitely loved watching him play basketball.  He would get so red when he got mad and would scream so loud at the refís it was just too funny. 


Mine has to be the ride home from the Commishís wedding.  It was me, him and his well-endowed date.  We stopped at a liquor store after we had just spent the last 10 minutes discussing how expensive the shirt he had on was.  Of course, he had to take it off, and rock the undershirt on the drive over, you know, to give his date a sneak peak at the gun show. Well, once Diesel and I walked back to the car from the store his brand new shirt was sticking out driverís side door and the door wouldnít open, leaving him to believe the shirt was jamming the door.  Diesel asked his date to try and open it from her side, as well as asking her three different times if the door was unlocked, to which she replied, no.  Diesel starts rocking his car back and forth vigorously back and forth, trying to loosen the shirt from the door.  What a sight people got on Somerville Ave.  This man built like a house, pushing a car back and forth like the Patriots just won the Super Bowl.  Rocking didnít work, so Diesel just lost it, and began ripping the shirt out violently.  $200 down the drain.  Wah, wah.  Still, the door would not open.  Finally, I go around and hop in the car to see if some remnants of the shirt were stuck on the inside, when I notice the door is STILL locked!!!  Apparently, Diesel was not with this girl because she could split the atom.  Everyone who knows Diesel can tell you when he gets mad, heís about as red as tomato with red paint lying in a pile of ketchup. Needless to say the rest of the ride was done in silence as I struggled to hold back the tears of laughter.


9.  Should Bud Selig attend the game when Barry Bonds breaks Aaronís record?

Iím not a Barry hater..just because his head is the size of a compact car, doesnít make him the only guy on the juiceÖ he might be a dick but he shouldnít be the poster boy of the steroid era.. so I guess the answer is yes .. the commish should stop hiding in his office. The only guy that should be upset is hammering Hank .. the true home run king..


10.  Are you a Sopranos man?  What is your feeling about the ìcut to blackî ending?

Sorry to say havenít had much time to watch the show .. Iím to busy score keeping guys basketball games at the CACÖand by the way whatís up with the fantasy basketball within the CAC league .. you guys are FREAKS.

I must say I have heard the same rumors and fully agree this is a violation of League policy.  Anyone caught with CAC fantasy leagues will be treated like Pete Rose and will be banned from CAC.  Plus, we all know Tibbs is going to cheat to make his team win when he enters stats.  The kid can not be trusted and continues to leave trash in my car when I drive him home.  Clean up you drunken slob!

10a.  Steve, youíve walked the walk and talked the talk at CAC, give me your most memorable or infamous moment you have witnessed at the Club..

back in the day when the bar was open at the gym this place was out of controlÖ sean, I could tell you stories that would make your head spin.. but  i never kiss and tell.. and of course the worst day at the gym was when they closed the bar down ..lots of history and memories ..iím getting all chocked up just thinking about itÖI have to stop writing now I need to get some tissues..

Its all good Steve O, wait a few more years and retire on the proceeds you make from publishing the CAC kiss and tell book.  It seems like yesterday, but I remember when I first started working here the Herbís Bayou CafÈ was looking like a ghost town.  Like all good things they have to come to an end, usually with people taking 12 steps to move on.  Steve thanks for taking the most important step of them all and stepping into the Corner.  Thanks for working all those games for us spoiled hoopers.