Starting from the bottom up!
One of my all time favorite movie lines comes from Ty Webb, played by Chevy Chase in the movie Caddyshack.
Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height
Just one of the very many gems from this movie (#7 on my top 30 sports movies list from last May…shameless plug). Ty Webb’s nonchalant nature towards scores and statistics is endearing, but let’s be honest…here at the CAC we LOVE our stats. It’s one of the many reasons we shell out our hard earned money session after session to be a part of these leagues.
Unlike Mr. Webb, I’ve been a stat nerd since I was memorizing the batting averages of Marty Barrett and Spike Owen at age 4, so when I found out about the CAC, I couldn’t help but feel as though these leagues were created specifically for me. Well, here we are putting a bow on what I expect to be my last CAC season in the foreseeable future and I’ve compiled a list.
Over the next three weeks, starting with number 200, I’m going to name the top 200 scorers in the seven session history of CAC Co-ed Hoops. I will be releasing part of the list twice a week, starting with 40 players at a time. In week three, the week of the Elite 8 in our Co-ed Madness bracket, I will release 40-21 on Monday and 20-1 on Wednesday.
So Judge Smails, this list is for you…The All Time stats link on the league page will give you all the per-game leadersm, but these are the CUMULATIVE point totals for the top 200 scorers in Co-Ed history, rewarding those who have been here since the beginning or close to it, and those who have played on two or three teams per session. Enjoy!!
T-199 – Andrew Melchiorri (DL Orange – 5 gms), Liz Hansen (Raindance – 8 gms) – 64 points – Andrew only played about half a season. I think he was friends with one of the Claffeys. Not a bad player. Liz, was one of the lights out lady shooters that helped RD to an unbeaten regular season in F11
T-196 – Mike Gore (WOMS – 4gms), Joel Strachoda (Molasses – 8 gms), Chung (Team Ahab – 6gms) – 65 points – Chung and Strachoda are from the one season before I started playing, so I don’t know a damn thing about them, except that Chung is apparently the CAC/Asian version of McLovin…just one name. Gore’s been here for all of a month, but he already has a chance to make a big impact as the WOMS head to the tournament. Don’t sleep on this squad! If they can win a title with me, they can CERTAINLY do it with basically the same team minus Duyon plus Gore…BIG upgrade!
T-191 – Alex Wilson (Ballocrats – 9 gms), Dan Leahy (DL Orange – 17 gms), Kristen Dessinigue (Femme – 9 gms), Lindsey Lavoie (BP Tigers – 26 gms), Evan Easterbrooks (Consultants – 8 gms) – 67 points – This league misses Leahy…good message board participant, played his ass off and was a frequent post game drinker at Sunset. Lindsey has always been an underrated and consistent part of the Tigers franchise and Dez was one of the best players on the only all-women’s team ever to play and win a game in the league!
T-189 – Evan “The Boat” Low (Rim Jobbers – 49 gms), Alex Klaessig (Consultants – 9) – 68 points – I remember playing the Rim Jobbers my first season in the league. In pregame warm ups, I saw Boozer and Boat across the floor and thought I was gonna die. Obviously I would learn they were some of the nicest guys you’ll find at the CAC. Boat may not be a prolific scorer, but he’s tied for 37th in career co-ed rebounds (with Grubb)
T-186 – Marie Rozeboom (G Got Game – 9gms), James Miller (Ewoks. HPCR – 9 gms), Tom Blesso (Wheels – 12 gms) – 69 points – James seemed to be hampered by some back issues this season, but I enjoy watching him play. It’s funny, because you never know what kind of mood he’ll be in. Sometimes he’s as happy go lucky as they come, but I guess going winless can make anybody a little agitated from time to time. Marie is one of the most surprising sharp shooters in the league. That girl has no fear! If GGG has any hopes of getting past “We’re Here For The Gangbang”, she’s going to need to hit her shots!
185 – Greg Van Houten (G Got Game – 5 gms) – 70 points – Solid interior player, decent mid range jump shot, very athletic
184 – Matt Murphy (Boston Beer Company – 11 gms) – 73 points – Only things I remember about this team was that they went winless and Kaitlyn Hennigan was really the only player they had
T-182 – Emily “Claws” Clawson (Monstars – 9 gms), Elyas Bakhtari (DL Black – 9 gms) – 76 points – Claws got off to a slow start this season, but once she got going, she took the West by storm! Elyas only played one season, and he was raw, but athletic. On the right team he could have been an instrumental player.
181 – Justine Hill (Wheels, 2Y4UB – 34 gms) – 77 points – Don’t judge her by her height or her point totals…she can ball. 74 assists to go with those 77 points are 49th all time
180 – Heather LaCasse (Commandos – 9gms) – 78 points
T178 – Shaun Parkin (Back Door – 13gms), Randy Messer (Back Door – 18gms) – 79 points
177 – Kirill Chupakhin (Back Door – 6gms) – 80 points – I remember there being a Back Door Babies team, but I don’t remember a single player they had. This was quite a few sessions ago and all the post game beertowers at Sunset have clearly taken their toll on my memory
176 – James Bizeur (Commandos – 9 gms) – 82 points
175 – Chris “Manu” Lehmkuhl (BOOM – 7 gms) – 84 points – MANU! Maybe the best pure scorer on last sessions Boom team that made it all the way to the finals. I think I found out late in the season that he was German? I can’t remember, but I remember being surprised. He got a tech or two from D-Mac…his favorite move was the smile, followed by the eye roll and then rolling the ball in the exact opposite direction of the ref AND the other team when he didn’t like a call. It was 50/50 douchey/funny…then again, the same has been said about me in general…so he was alright in my book.
T-173 – Katie Munrow (Back Door – 18 gms), Jared Mercuri (Child Please – 9 gms) – 85 points – Big J-Merc…a/k/a Mike Rocco-Lite!!
T-171 – Keith Kantor (DL Franchise – 40 gms) Pat “P-Mills” Millina (DL Franchise – 54 gms) – 86 points – How appropriate that these two finished tied! I don’t think Dave Claffey ever had two more faithful Llamas. Keith always made games fun and loved to rag on me for missing his “alleged stats”. As for Mills? What can I say about Mills? Maybe I should wait a couple of weeks and then say it. P-Mills meant well. We didn’t agree on much of anything, but I still insist that he mostly meant well, even though he got into an occasional pissing match with me, somebody else, or withheld championship stats over a petty argument from a year earlier. He had as much passion and drive as anybody on the court. Unfortunately, those characteristics didn’t carry over into his staff duties. Aside from all that, he is a good guy, who loved to play the game, and loved to drink beers when the game was over. A-ok by me!
T169 – Bob “The Bully” Haas (9 gms), Ebon “The Ebonator” Kim (Ewoks – 9 gms) – 87 points – “The Minotaur” and me brought “The Bully” over the co-ed ranks this season and I couldn’t be happier that we did. He and Roberts have battled many times in our epic B2 showdowns and now they are two peas in a pod…the meanest looking really nice guys you’ll ever meet. Seriously, if I ran into Matt and Bob in a dark alley, I’d probably wet myself while they would probably just be trying to lend me a flashlight. Ebon was one of my favorite players to watch a year ago on the Ewoks, but sadly health issues have kept him off the court since. He’s also a D-Mac favorite
168 – Andy Jensen (Molasses – 6 gms) – 88 points – who?
167 – Matt Guerra (DL White – 17 gms) – 89 points
166 – Scott Tarentino (DLO, HYKHYW – 15 gms) – 92 points – Tarentino is a big man…my lasting co-ed memory of him will be the time he pretty much made Jason Baklavas sh*t himself after he undercut Tarantino. Scott started to go after him, and I’ve never seen somebody go so white in my life
165 – Mike Gerrity (TY Jager – 9 gms) – 96 points – A fan of Springsteen is a friend of mine
164 – Amber Wantman (G Got Game, Sexy – 15 gms) – 97 points – Easily the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen in CAC-ball…think Mike Singletary, but short and female
T-162 – Amanda Vigneau (J Shore Franchise – 36 gms), Letricia Castillo (Make It Drizzle – 8 gms) – 98 points – Letricia is apparently the best player (maybe second best) on Make It Drizzle. They’re going to miss her in the playoffs. And Amanda? Well, anybody who can put up with Tibbs for four straight sessions is a saint in my book!
161 – Justin James (HPCR – 5 gms) – 99 points – Justin was the best player on a pretty bad team once he joined up halfway into the season. I credit him for sticking with it and busting his ass throughout the whole season unlike the first guy they tried to bring in to help out. Dion or something…dude basically quit in the middle of the third game.
Later this week we get into the triple digit scorers!! 160-121!! Stay tuned!!