Trap with Ian Whitney

This weekís guest in the Trap is team Captain of Ripcord and Kool Aid Ian Whitney. Much improved since his early days at CRFC where he averaged a mere 6 points a game, Ian is now averaging a very healthy 10 points, 5 rebounds and 6 assists for his B2 East squad.  Ian also serves as the team captain for the B1 Kool Aid squad which recently had a key signing extremely close to the trade deadline that vaulted them up to the top of the contender list for the B1 title. His B2 East chances? Well, letís just get right to the interview…

Wolverine: Thanks for being on this weekís Trap, Ian.

Whitney: Thanks for having me, and donít count out Ripcord just yet.

Wolverine: Please tell the CRFC Nation where you are from, what sports you played in college, and how many times you honestly think you deserved to be thrown out of a CRFC game?

Ian:  I grew up in Littleton, Massachusetts and went to High school in Acton, which is how I know most of Kool Aid. I am flattered at your question that you think I could have actually played college sports. Most importantly, I should have only been thrown out of 1 game and DMac was reffing it.

Wolverine: Let it be known that I am tightening the rope on you and Bermont. Are you seriously considering moving Ripcord to the B2 West next season in light of your current record? Sunday nights is now another option for you as well.

Ian: No, there will be some changes to the team next session and I think we will be much more competitive, but thanks for the advice.

Wolverine: Do you think CRFC should take a cue from the World Cup and add extra time to the end of games?

Ian: I think if you could just get Serge to stop staring at all the girls coming in, then we wouldnít have an issue with the clock.

Wolverine: In your opinion, who are your top 5 all-time overrated athletes?

Ian: Reggie Miller and Terry Glenn.

Wolverine: Maybe I learned the wrong definition of ì5î in kindergarten?

Ian:  Didnít you grow up in Saugus?

Wolverine: Fair enough. How did you manage to sign Local Hero Ed Finn right before the always fungible CRFC trade deadline and what does that do to Kool-Aidís chances in the B1 East?

Ian: Well, we had discussed him joining the team before the season started, but Mark Raymond agreed to come out of retirement. So, we obliged and then he backed out. We asked Finn to re-join, and how could he say no to Kool Aid?

Wolverine: Seriously, everybody loves Kool-Aid. And I deserve some credit for this since Mazzone, Finn and I played in the last 3 on 3 tournament together.

Ian: I think youíre just jealous we didnít ask you. Donít take it personal, I just figured I wouldnít know who to yell at during the game.

Wolverine: I am a little jealous of everybody really. What about your chances now for the B1 title?

Ian:  We have an excellent chance to take home championship. Itís been far too long since Kool Aid has been on the victory stand. 

Wolverine: Does John Mazzone have an anti-motorcycle clause in his contract?

Ian: No, we are actually hoping he hits his head and gets some sense knocked into him and stops shooting 3ís like he is Antoine.

Wolverine: Is it true that you and Mr. Fantasy Stat Fred Bermont have a secret pool going as to who can push me the furthest on the court without getting a technical foul?

Ian: Who said it was secret? No, seriously the actual pool is to see who can get you to just finally give in and give one of us calls for an entire game.

Wolverine: And is it also true that Bermont is fascinated by maps of all kinds?

Ian: It is true. He is one strange kid, but there is nothing wrong with a healthy obsession with maps.

Wolverine: Maybe if it was 1824 and we lived west of the Mississippi.

Ian: He has helped me get to many a remote ski mountains riding shotgun.

Wolverine: Interesting that you guys require ìremoteî ski locations. Letís move on. How has being a direct descendent of Eli Whitney affected your life?

Ian: Besides all the royalties from the Cotton Gin, he did nothing for me.

Wolverine: Other than me, what is your favorite aspect of CRFC basketball?

Ian: Does yelling at you include you?

Wolverine: Yes, I am part human after all.

Ian: Then I would have to say just good old fashion competition.

Wolverine: Letís pretend for a moment that my screenplay gets picked up by HBO. Obviously, I wonít be reffing at CRFC anymore, but Commish manages to negotiate with HBO to film a CRFC version of the Sopranos. Would you rather have Jamie-Lynn DiScala, Drea De Matteo, or Lorraine Braco play your goomah? Remember, Edie Falco is not an option ñ thatís Tonyís girl and you donít mess with the bossí wife!

Ian: Honestly? Thatís one tough question. 

Wolverine: Yes, this is the Trap after all, but all men must eventually choose.

Ian: All right, Iíll take Drea De Matteo then.

Wolverine: Canít go wrong there. Should human growth hormones be allowed at CRFC?

Ian: You mean theyíre not?

Wolverine: Well, none of our rules are really written down, but Iíd say no.

 Ian: I better tell Fielding to clean up his act then.

Wolverine: I expect more from the former Wolverine Award winner and fellow Tufts graduate. Do you find it odd that GDI has a Charwick, Nowicki, Novak, and a Nowak on the same team?

Ian: I didnít know that, but I think that they should be forced to change their team name and let you decide what it should be.

Wolverine: Tick Tak would be my suggestion. Thanks for being in the Trap, Ian.

Ian: No, Wolverine, thank you, for the Trap, all those crappy calls and your good nature on the court.