Trap with Mr. Fantasy Stat Fred Bermont

This weekís guest in the Trap is Mr. Fantasy Stat himself Fred Bermont. After playing the Robin role to Superman Jon Mazzone on the B1 Kool Aid squad, Bermont decided to jump to our B2 East league and play with his boys at Millenium and star in his own show. Since then he has turned into quite possibly the most complete player in the league, as he currently holds the #2 spot in rebounding, #1 in assists and trails only Ian Tosti of the Town, Josh ìMVî Piekarski and Jay Sar in the player rater category. Letís get to know this guy a bit more and talk hoops, maps, and presidents.

Wolverine: Thanks for being on this weekís Trap, Bermont.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: No problem – this is so much better then programming databases. Maps and Presidents? This should be good.

Wolverine: Please tell the CRFC Nation a few things about yourself, like where you are from, what sports you played growing up, and when you 1st thought of making a sport out of yelling ìCímon Wolverineî after any call or non-call by yours truly.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: I grew up in Acton, Mass, a suburb about 23 miles outside the city on Route 2.  I played basketball for Acton-Boxboro and played little league baseball as well.  And yelling at the refs has always been a hobby of mine.  I decided to go professional once I saw you daydreaming on the court while I was getting hacked and finally waking up as I barely touched somebody.

Wolverine: It seems to be a recurring daydream. Does constantly yelling out that phrase help relax you on the court, kind of like how Monica Seles used to relax by grunting after she hit every shot?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Yeah kind of, I get pretty heated out there for no reason.

Wolverine: I am glad you finally admitted to that.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: And just like Mr. Constanzaís ìSerenity Now!î I have ëCome on, Wolverine!î

Wolverine: Sounds like a good team name for the Fall. Millenium had been playing some very good ball as of late before dropping a tough one to the league leading Mullets. How do you rate your teamís chances in B2?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: I think we have a decent shot if we can play some tough defense, cut down on the turnovers and get a couple balls to bounce our way.

Wolverine: How do you rate my chances of getting invited to any Millenium parties?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: 0% since they donít have any of those fun parties anymore. Sorry.

Wolverine: Not that itís a requirement, but you donít even work there do you?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: No, I left in April, but I have still managed to be on the basketball and softball teams hopefully for years to come.

Wolverine: What is the biggest lie you have ever told a woman?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: That I went to Cornell Law, when I actually was a 2.7 student at Ithaca College. 

Wolverine: At least you chose a school in the same state and can talk up the area. How has the addition of Local Hero Ed Finn affected Kool-Aid?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: It has had a positive affect. First, his all out hustling has made us much more aggressive on both sides of the court and gives us some much needed perimeter defense. Second, adding another true scorer to take some shots away from Jon ìEmployee #8î Mazzone makes us more balanced.

Wolverine: I thought his nickname was ìMVP?î

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Maybe in the Wolverineís world, but to us he’s ‘Tubby’ or ìEmployee #8.î He hucks those threes like Antoine, but he keeps on telling me, ìHey, Antoine won a ring, call me Tubby all you want.î Anyway, if we play smart by working the offense down low, we become very difficult to guard. And lastly, he just is crazy and I love it – never seen a kid fly into the wall so many times and I love the energy.

Wolverine: He is a true warrior. Is it true though that you heavily lobbied against his signing because he took away some of your stats?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Nah, not me, itís all about the Wís. Anyway, my role on Kool-Aid is to get rebounds, defend (fouls) and assists. But mostly I want that W.

Wolverine: In the last edition of the Trap, your boy Ian outted you for enjoying the ever popular pastime of reading maps and learning about lighthouses. Care to explain yourself?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: First off, please refer to Ian as Mike Seaver as he currently resides above his parentsí garage.

Wolverine: Funny, he didnítí mention that in the Trap. I may go old school on him and nickname him Fonzie. By the way, Growing Pains was a great show ñ one of the best lines ever was when Mikeís friend Boner revealed that his dadís name was Sylvester Stabone. Classic.

Mr. Fantasy Stat:  Heís not cool enough to be Fonzie, hence Mike Seaver, but maps and lighthouses are awesome! My thought is that one should explore their passions.

Wolverine: That is exactly why I have Cinemax.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: You need a lady friend. Iíve had a passion for maps ever since I was a kid – the interstate highway system just seemed pretty cool to me. As for the lighthouses, well, they are a link to our past, a bygone era if you will, also most of the structures stand in some of the most scenic spots in the world, and thatís pretty cool as well.

Wolverine: I really want to make fun of you right now, but that is actually a pretty good argument. Are you more excited for the possibility of AI joining the Celtics next season or the unveiling of Celtics new dance team?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Easily AI. I could care less about the dance team. Iím old school when it comes to the Cís. Going to a game is almost over stimulating.

Wolverine: You really should get Cinemax.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: I just want to watch some basketball and not have T-shirts and dancing teams bombarding my senses. I might be in the minority where I think AI would be a good addition. Heís got a bad rep, but is one hell of a player, love his attitude while on the court.


Wolverine: Letís play a little word association game. You know how this one works, I say a word and you say the 1st thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Sure.

Wolverine: David Stern

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Love the iron fist rule on the NBA.

Wolverine: The Commish

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Similar, stylish hair cut as me.

Wolverine: The NBA

Mr. Fantasy Stat: A good style of play is finally coming back.

Wolverine: CRFC Basketball

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Good times, good competitive outlet.

Wolverine: President Bush

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Wow, worthless?

Wolverine: Jessica Simpson

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Came out terrible in the whole Nick and Jessica ordeal. Her ìtalentsî are great though.

Wolverine: Zinedine Zedane

Mr. Fantasy Stat: I wish I could head-butt like that.

Wolverine: Are you more afraid of traveling to North Korea or North Medford?

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Probably North Korea, however Saugus, thatís a different story.  I drive on Route 1 as fast as I can to get out of that town. Ian (Mike Seaver) avoids Route 1 altogether to avoid that town.

Wolverine: Well, then he is missing out on some fine dining and entertainment establishments. Thanks for being in the Trap, Bermont. It was a pleasure.

Mr. Fantasy Stat: Thanks, and for this you get one free week of no complaints. Oh wait, who am I kidding? Maybe 5 minutes if youíre lucky.