This weekís guest in the Trap is The Mullets main man and fellow Saugonian Jay Sartori. Jay has quickly emerged out of the large shadows cast by older brothers Jim and Jeff to become the greatest athlete ever named Sartori to come out of the Gus, epitomized by averaging over 35 points a game in the B2 League over the past 2 seasons and earning MVP honors and a Championship along the way. Letís get right to it to talk Hilltop, hoops, and high hair.
Wolverine: Thanks for being on this weekís Trap, JaySar.
JaySar: No problem. Itís a pleasure to represent Saugus in the Trap.
Wolverine: First off, please tell the CRFC Nation where you are from, what sports you played in high school/college, and how many different colored Champion sweatshirts you owned growing up.
JaySar: I am from Saugus – ìsomeplace special.î In High School I played basketball, golf and tennis. In college I went to Northeastern and I played with computers and partied like a rock star. I owned four different colored Champions with the accompanying Champion turtleneck underneath. I also owned one IOU shirt that I wore on Fridays.
Wolverine: I completely forgot about the matching turtleneck underneath. Fabulous. That is so Togs. Please explain the ìUSuckî Ethan Chang and ìEvilî Brian Bolger nicknames on your team.
JaySar: Usuck is pretty easy to explain. His real name is Usok (pronounced You Sock), but he decided to change it because of the endless amounts of comedy that can come from a first name like that.
Wolverine: I canít imagine anyone from Saugus making fun of that.
JaySar: And once you get to know Evil, you would understand his nickname. He is ìevilî in every sense of the word. He enjoys watching others fail. He likes to hit you while you are down. Whenever a baby cries, his powers go stronger. I will not go in more depth cause I am sincerely afraid of him.
Wolverine: Sounds like a nice guy. Given our Saugus accents, do you find it difficult to have an R in your last name right before the T?
JaySar: Even TiCal has trouble with the R. If you look at his write ups, the box score is always correct and in the write up he writes Satori without the R. Everything is difficult with aSaugus accent. My name phonetically is pronounced ìJ-Saaahh.î
Wolverine: For years I thought Anna Parker Park was named after someone named Anna Pakkah. What celebrity would you most like to see schedule a guest appearance at the Cabaret?
JaySar: The Cabaret is someplace that I hold dear and near to my heart. It was the first place Jim and Jeff Sar took me to on my 21st birthday. The one celebrity I would like to see is Pamela Anderson. ìLetís hear it for Pamela in the red roomÖÖî
Wolverine: Knowing Saugonians, weíd probably find some fault in her too. Other than me and Chise, who were your idols growing up?
JaySar: Michael Jordan and ìSuperflyî Jimmy Snuka.
Wolverine: What is your favorite Wedding Crashers rule?
JaySar: My favorite game is ìLetís play a game called just the tip – howís it feel.î My favorite rule is Rule #7 – Blend in by standing out. I sometimes wear fluorescent yellow and green outfits with matching sneakers. I will buy and wear anything that has bright colors.
Wolverine: That must have come in handy on the SHS tennis team. I prefer either Rule #94 ñ ìDeep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doorsî followed closely by Rule #24 ñ ìIf you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.î
Wolverine: If you figured out a way to get a Mullets ping-pong ball in the 2006 NBA draft lottery and somehow won, who do you take with the 1st pick?
JaySar: JJ Redick – we would be a sensational 1-2 combo. Pick your poison.
Wolverine: I think Iíd take Skerry over Reddick any day. How long can you hold your breathe and what is the longest you have ever remained underwater?
JaySar: 8:59 seconds because David Blaine is a wuss and I can do itÖ.sure I hold my nose, but does that count?
Wolverine: I think thatíd qualify. When was the last time you tight-rolled your jeans?
JaySar: If Iím currently wearing them tight-rolled, does that count?
Wolverine: Fantastic. Do you think playing in the A1, 5 on 5, and B2 leagues this season will take its toll on you come playoff time in July
JaySar: The only thing come playoff time is the weekend before the 4th of July and all post weekends before that. Itís especially hard to play B2 games on a Sunday night.
Wolverine: Would you ever consider dumping OD and coming over to Stackpole ñ the Saugus A squad?
JaySar: No Way. OD and I have been schooling kids at the Evans since I was in high school and now we still do it. Why ruin a good thing?
Wolverine: What is your favorite aspect of CRFC basketball?
JaySar: All the players in this league are cool and there donít seem to be many idiots and everyone seems to get along. That and the fact that a half court shot is really nothing more then a long 3 pointer on a regular court.
Wolverine: Who will be your teamís toughest test this season in B2?
JaySar: Serenity Now seems to have given us the most trouble in the past. Drago and Cha-Ching are also tough. All threats aside, the Mullets plan on repeating with the addition of Mike D and his hot potato jump shot.
Wolverine: I have been a big Mike D fan ever since he took us to McDonalds after practice when he was ìcoachingî us in CYO. Will the rising price of gas affect your fan attendance?
JaySar: No, we intend to have the most chicks and the hottest come to our games. Chicks dig Mullets. You know how Saugus guys roll.
Wolverine: If you take a peak at the latest 5 on 5 champs photos, every team is trying their best to look tough, with the exception of your Saugus squad, who is hugging so closely that youíd think their plane was going down. Care to explain?
JaySar: Saugus is a close bunch, those are my brothers.
Wolverine: These questions are not related. Are their wedding bells in JaySarís future?
JaySar: Ha ha. Who knows whatís in Jay Sarís future. Itís like the playoffs – anything can happen.
Wolverine: You sound a lot like LeBron. Will you, your squad and your fans be at the next CRFC League Night Out, Friday June 9th?
JaySar: We plan on making an appearance.
Wolverine: Great, keep that Evil guy away from me. Thanks for being in the Trap, Jay Sar. See you at the annual 2 on 2 McMahon Invitational this summer.