View From the Balcony: Laura Jasinski

The Jumpman’s Much Better Half

That’s right people, 2 blogs in one week! You think I’d be able to handle that throughout the season, but then, you’d be wrong and not realize how lazy I can truly be.  Thankfully, as is often the case, this week’s guest, Laura Jasinski, did most of the work for me.  LJ has been around the Women’s League for a couple years now and has noticed her CAC fame rise spectacularly in the last few months. I’m sure we’ll find out why shortly.  I just ask my inane questions and she was more than willing (what he said) to be put on blast.  As always, I put myself on blast and in bold, cuz that’s how I roll.

Let’s get the ball rolling LJ!  Like every interview that everyone does, tell us how you got here, the highlights and lowlights of (spoiler alert!!) growing up in Amherst (western mass!) before becoming a Jumbo, working a job that provokes you to be on GChat all day and joining CAC!

LJ: Well, I did make one stop between playing at ARHS and Tufts: Wellesley College.  While I didn’t love the whole women’s college scene, I did meet one fiesty redhead who made those 2 semesters worthwhile.  Erin bonded over our love of burritos and learned some valuable lessons … like jello shots are not the same thing as chasing a shot with jello.  I was OK with changing my name to LJ because there was already another Laura on the team (yes Laura is my real name) but when EJ wasn’t willing to give up her #32 jersey (even though it fit me better) I was forced to transfer.

Pft, she’s just selfish!!

Transferring was a great decision for me and I loved Tufts. Basketball wise, I didn’t start jacking up shots until I got to CAC.  In fact, I think my coach had it about right when she told me after my senior season “Laura, I think we got about as much as we could out of you.”  It’s true, I’ve never been a huge scorer or a flashy player.  Plus I had Khaliliah and Jess to do my scoring for me.  I just did all the other things, like defense and rebounding, and got a lot of minutes from it.  Who doesn’t love a player who knows her role?

See that’s what makes CAC so great, you didn’t have to EVER be good to feel like you deserve to jack up bad 3s and miss wide-open layups.  I felt at home from the instant i stepped onto the court at Wall Ball Arena!

After I graduated EJ grabbed me to play on one of the earlier Ladies First teams… back when it was the two of us, Caitlin and Fay beating up on the boys in the C league.  The rest was history after Erin brought me to an LNO (and almost convinced me that rookies had to wear their jersey to the bar).  I’ve been hanging out with CACers ever since, eating tuna melts with Erin and Jillian at Silvertone (dolphin free of course), working out with Callie, watching football with you, Caitlin, and Bush, listening to Miley Cyrus with the Milkman, and oh yea – dating one.

Whew, are you always this long winded?! NO wonder Terry plays so much Fifa! I kid!  You made your first mailbag appearance this week.  Technically you made it as a ‘chat’ and garnered an additional mention via a Miley Cyrus reference!! To what do you attribute your sudden fame and notoriety?

You mean besides my sparkling personality? I swear all those dirty looks I give aren’t on purpose…. except the ones directed at Bush.  Unfortunately, I don’t think I can claim that it’s my incredible skills on the court that have made me stand out at CAC.  I guess part of it must be the fact that I broke down and joined the ranks of Jabby, Ginger Cake, Loren and Spinny, and your very own Gibbsypoo duo.  Pretty excited for that wedding I must say.  And even if you and Terry do sneak off for a romantic get-away every now and then, at least Caitlin and I will have each other… and our Groupons.

I have no idea what you’re talking about!  Loren and TSpin really need their own nickname though, I agree.

But anyway, regarding your question, basically if CAC had a version of People magazine, I’m pretty sure Terry and I would have made the cover last April, that is, if EJ and Harv hadn’t stolen our thunder.  I have to say though, the guy tricked me.  He looks at least late 20s/early 30s.  I thought he was all established… maybe had a condo or nice car or something. I thought at least I’d be able to get a few more calls in the womens leagues.  Turns out no to all of the above.

I swear to god if you didn’t say I’m using you to get to Terry, then you don’t know me at all. Speaking of the Jumpman, aka Danny Granger, aka ARTHRITIS, how’s living with CAC’s most overrated and over publicized player since Filosa last regularly played around these parts??

Do you purposely try to hide your infatuation with on Terry by constantly trash talking him and denying him awards at the end of every A1 season? Or are you just bitter that he chose me over you?

Right, right, the whole moving in thing. Well, since we found a places to put all my clutter and hair brushes (you know, by reducing the piles of his clothes on the floor from 8 to 1), things have been going pretty well.  The three of us, and by that I mean me, Terry, and FIFA 2010, have a pretty good relationship.  They have their alone time, and we have two other roommates to keep me company.  Plus I got a major apartment upgrade.

In all seriousness, though you wouldn’t know it by playing against him in A1, Terry is actually a great guy and living together is awesome. Aww shoot did I just ruin his rep?

Yes, you really did, now everytime he demands the ball everyone will realize he’s just a big softy and not pass to him!!

Now I know that you’re a fierce cook, usually nodding your head like Yeah, and really, really into puppies, but what is something that would surprise most of the CACers to know about you??

Hold up… did you just say fierce? OK Tyra.  I thought saying “put on blast” was bad enough.  But yes I do love to cook.  And I’m pretty sure Terry prefers my cooking to yours Tibbs… remember that.

Leave the sexual innuendos to O’Cal and Tony Kornheiser will you?!

I guess what people might not know is that there actually are people that build centers for ants such as those featured in Zoolander, and that I am one of those people.  I spend most of my days (and a bunch of nights) in a woodshop making models for an architecture firm… the reason why I’m always covered in super glue, paint, or sawdust.  But hey, if anyone needs any tiny construction done, give me a call.  And yes, I hope my models allow kids to learn to read good and do other stuff good too.

Maybe you can do me a favor and settle a debate that I have with everyone, but mostly gripp.  Warren, is it Central Mass, or Western Mass?!?  Our High School played in the now defunct Southern Worcester County League, had a 508 phone number and everything. I know we were West of 495, but come on, wtf, tell the people I’m not from the backwards @$$ middle of nowhere like you 😀

People that think living west of 495 makes you from Western Mass need to check the map again.  I’d say the unofficial line is where Route 2 goes from 4 lanes to 2.  And no Tibbs, you certainly aren’t from the 413… you’re not worthy.  I can’t believe you’re actually willing to say, let alone trying to convince people your from Central Mass.  And in my defense, the middle of nowhere is actually quite nice and peaceful. My little town of Leverett (no that’s not Everett with a typo like every bouncer who IDs me seems to think) doesn’t have a stoplight, cell phone service or high speed internet.  Yes, these places still exist.

As ZombieLand taught me “Enjoy the Little Things”.  Any win over a Gripp is a big one in my book! Thanks Lidge-it!!  I apologize that I’m not as witty as Ocal, as creepy as the Wolverine, or as non-sensical as Gerrity, but you’ll have to put up with me, as I often tell Gripp, ‘it’s almost over’… If you could sit down face to with any person and grill them, who would it be, and why?

I don’t think you ever need to apologize for not being like Ocal.  I would have to say I’d love to sit down and talk with Julia Child.  I mean she was an awesome chef and a spy… how badass is that?  At the very least I might pick up some good recipes, or at least find out where she buys size 11 shoes.  Otherwise I highly recommend sitting down and grabbing a beer with Pat Lawson.  Just bring up a random topic and see how many stories that ginger has that are relevant.  You won’t be bored.

Ha, you just hit the nail on the head about Lawson! I think it was last season, when he was about to break into a rant about something or other when I said “you know, you’re the guy that always knows A GUY”  Just unreal.  Funny dude, and a red head, the only way I could like him more was if he was a lefty (Terry’s the exception that prove the rule!).

I’ve heard some of the guys on the message boards claim that your Women’s 4v4 team and Gripp’s, are only scoring more on the new rims than the guys because your ball is smaller. I think that’s ludicrous, if that was the case wouldn’t the WNBA be higher scoring than the NBA just because the ball is smaller and 3 line closer??

Part of me wants to plead the 5th on the WBA… but I will say that women’s basketball is a very different game than men’s. Much more of our game is played bellow the rim.  It doesn’t make it any less fun to play or take any less skill, and I’d argue that it’s actually MORE physical, but it does lose some of the spectator appeal.

Hmmm, below the rim, sounds JUST like the guys @ CAC.  Please just say your teams are so much better than most of the guys teams…that’d be AWESOME!!

As far as CAC goes, I’d say that the women are just much better at playing together.  In case you’re confused, that means playing unselfishly, using your advantages each game, and passing even when you’re not trying to get a triple double with assists.  If you ask me, it sounds like the guys have other small balls they should worry about more than the 28.5.

If those trash talkers on the message boards want to watch some good basketball, they should come watch my team play Caitlin’s.  Has to be one of the best match ups at CAC.  And if you want to put some money on it I have a friend with a shady bookie.

Come on, like Bush, you’d never get paid for those bets!  What can I (and by extension, the Leagues) do differently to cultivate and retain a stronger women’s league presence at CAC? I think that’s the place we can grow the leagues the most.

First, you should start paying me commission for all of the new talent I’ve added to the league.  You can thank me for all of the Jumbos I’ve brought in… Powers, Khalilah, and Jenna.  And we’ve even branched out to other NESCACers (Go Bobcats…!…?).  So what if I’m just trying to stack my own team… there’s more where they came from.

Maybe you could offer a drink special for the ladies that come to League Nights Out.  You know… like the first six rounds on CAC.  That way we wouldn’t have to rely on all those “charming” male CACers for car bombs and shots of whiskey.  Then you end up having to give them your phone number in return and they text you at 2:30 for the next three weekends… oh wait… I guess that all worked out in the end.  Who is this again?
Yea, that’s not happening…

You know what, I hope that one day, this shows up when someone googles Laura Jasiniski.  That’s right, your last name is already on the CAC website, it’s just a matter of time before the crawl picks this up!  I know Terry will show this to your extended family (come on, it’s only the second reference i’ve made to him this entire time!!), but what do you hope is the #1 result when you google your own name in 20 years?

Well seeing as the “ski” in my last name is going to make it tough for me to become famous by being a cast member on the Jersey Shore… I guess I’ll play this one seriously.  To be honest, seeing my name on banners in the wall ball arena is the extent of the fame I need.  I guess I would have to say that I hope my name would pop up for an outdoor basketball court named after me in an urban park that I designed.

Who doesn’t want to see their name on the Wall?! Caitlin has her name more times on one banner than I have total titles. Makes me so mad…See, this all wasn’t so bad, was it? Leave us with something awe inspiring…

Damn, I just left the door wide open for you to include puppies, I should know better than that!  Great work LJ, thanks for taking time away from putting little trees together to answer these questions.   Hope you didn’t glue your fingers to the key board!

I can’t say I haven’t done that before..
-2L2Q (Caitlin, that stands for 2 Legit 2 Quit)