View From the Balcony: Mike D’Alelio

Who forgets to post an intro?!?! This week’s second instalment of ‘View From the Balcony” is a guy that’s been playing at Wall Ball Arena since 2010. His playoff record is actually WORSE than mine, but he does have a title and tries to blame most of those losses on his teammates. Ladies and Gentlemen, get to know Mike D’Alelio, aka Dills aka MDA, aka Mr B2

Tibbs: This is a fluff piece Dills, probably the only reason you agreed to it. Start us out with who are you, where you came from and how you got here?
Mike D’Alelio: Pacheco invented me. He also invented the trend of wearing jumpsuits during games at CAC. He also has 14 cats.

Tibbs: Pacheco, that’s a Wakefield name. He hasn’t been around in forever! Please tell us all about Wakefield. None of us care or will ever go there, but I’ll indulge you.
MDA: Its for us to know and you to find out about. I will say that Wakefield will forever hold a grudge against you because of the League Night Out fiasco of 2010. Also an eternal grudge against Sam for costing us the B1 championship in F11 with what i will refer to as “poor scorekeeping/rules knowledge”.  But this interview wouldnt be complete without a shoutout to Greenwood.

I’m pretty sure Sam’s error was on purpose. Nah he was a ‘replacement ref’ stat-keeper that season, it was his first one! Remember when he was the kinda weird little kid no one knew what was up with?! He’s really come a long way since last season…
I feel like he is CAC’s native son (which would make him Matty Bells brother) and has grown up before our eyes. Other than Pacheco, Sunny is my biggest guiding light.

You mean Sunny D right?! How’d he latch onto this Wakefield bandwagon?!
He found me in B Draft, I’ve been a loyal sidekick ever since.

How did you walk away from B Draft?!
We had an undefeated season, capped off with the championship so I had to go out on top like Elway. Although Johnny was probably more of the Elway and I was a mere Ed McCaffrey…

You guys totally look alike too, I’m sure you’ve heard that before

dills

B2 4v4 has always been your go-to league, you’re one of only 6 players all-time to average 5 dimes per game. Why are you so unselfish, is it because you can’t shoot?
Its easy to rack up assists and not shoot when Marc [LeBlanc] is on your team. Ya know, I could get used to this interview thing. You remind me a lot of Oprah.  Similar interview style, Klout scores, body types…the list goes on.

I’m not giving you a new car if that’s what you’re asking for. Speaking of Oprah, do you have anything you want to confess to us? Lance Armstrong came clean on her couch, Cruise said he loved Katie Holmes, how are you going to be remembered?!
I don’t think I will ever be able to top my 15 seconds of fame in CAC’s “Create your Own Shining Moment” viral ad.

Wow I hadn’t even planned to mention that. It’s fantastic, so glad Matty got that on film. You look so happy to FINALLY have your first title. So you’re the only CACer to have their own viral ad, you’re also the only CACer whos autography hangs in my cube.

dills2

Be honest, how long did you think I’d keep your near quadruple double autographed box score hanging up ?
I didn’t think it would last into the next morning for you to see it.  I thought for sure the cleaning crew would steal it that night and I’d find it on eBay in the future. I could see the 3 Mullhollands pitching in to buy it for their living room.

When Josh fires me you better believe i’ll be selling that, dollar menu here I come!
More like Abe & Louies here you come!

Man I love that spot. Mmmm….steak….

Your basketball influences, who are they?
I try to do everything that Kid Flash doesn’t (See: pass, keep temper under control, play defense, wear shorts that fit me, commit to playing in a league). But that’s why we love him.

And because he’s actually good at basketball
I guess that’s why I will never have as many MVP’s as him.

Speaking of Kid Flash, throw at least one of your current/former #WarriorCountry teammates under the bus. Bad drinking story, embarrassing failed hook-up, give us something.
I don’t want Google bots picking up on anything too bad but I will say Greer shrieks like a girl at the sight of a spider. Also, ask Pete about his 3 dates with LaToya, or Flynn about the time he read Harry Potter at UNH.

Everyone is so worried about popping up on google these days. Is the site so popular that we show up on the first page of any results? Honestly, if I google something and it doens’t appear on the first page it might as well not exsist

/end tangent

Greer is the worst – it’s ok, you can admit it
Depends on his mood. He’s much peachier on the weekend. He’s got a lady friend, so I cant even get him to answer my phone calls. Actually, he probably just doesnt want to talk to me….

No one wants too, but could you be the Celtics starting point guard this season? They’re going to be so awful aren’t they?
Scouts compare me to Rondo so maybe. And by scouts i mean that one time Chao Quan told me that.

But as long as Marc makes the team with me, id be good for 5-6 assists a game… and at least 15-20 turnovers. Unfortunately with Rondo the Celtics are too good to be a lottery team and too bad to be anything relevant  Mediocrity is a terrible, terrible thing in the NBA.

I was scrolling my Facebook feed for a post about chao (why can’t you search your own feed?!? so dumb…) when I came across this instead

tibbs_matty

Who posted that? Chao?

No, me you jackass. Have some respect for the joy Matty brings!! Anyway, did you hack the website last week? If it wasn’t you, give us your top 5 suspects.
It wasnt me because i had a great game in week 1 and wanted everyone to see those stats. I think it was all a hoax and you did it.  Trying to prove your value to Josh, working on that raise.  The site seemed to be back up in no-time.  For someone that didnt hack the website, you sure got it back and running quickly.

Please, like I actually ‘did’ anything other than bitch at our webmaster and respond to calls/emails saying, hey, why is your site down? My favorite was this ‘heads-up’ 7 hours after the fact

That Mals sure is hilarious
[My] Darkhorse – B.Barrett. Packs his bags, moves out of town, all the sudden the website crashes?

From my Interview with PSmoove

“ Dills is a stat hound and loves to actively count his assists, so I take extra pleasure in missing the wide open lay-ups he so often finds me for.“

Did you ever respond to this by not passing him the ball, or benching him, or just taking him out at the knees one day
Absolutely not. You always pass to the guy with the biggest biceps in the league out of fear of what he might do to you.  And besides,  I made up a new stat back in 2010 called “AISHG” It stands for Assists I Should Have Got. Pete is a major contributor.

Any other suggested stats we should be tracking?!
Yes- Bust Factor.  The formula is Bust Factor = Regular Season Winning Pct. X 10 + Regular Season division titles / Early round playoff exits.  Pretty sure #WC has that one on lock.

That wasn’t the Bust Factor most of us were looking for, but I’ll work on that formula. Good lord you have been on quite a number of teams, with, as we’ve gone over pretty extensively, a wide variety of teammates. What’s the best excuse you have heard for someone missing a game?
Brad missed one game because he had a good parking spot at his apt, and didn’t want to risk losing it so didn’t leave the house for the game. But the best definitely goes to the O’Briens.  They were MIA at halftime of a playoff game so I called them to see if they were coming, where they told me no because “it is raining in Southie.”

Classic O’Briens, we’re ending on that, thanks for taking the time to do this Dills, I hope more people are now aware of what a terrible teammate you are, despite all the assists.