Wild West B2 Preview!

Originally Posted
2009-05-11

Well, well, well – fellas. I teased that I was off into the sunset from the B2 West League but after a scintillating B2 West All-Star Game victory (thanks to the co-MVPs – Lee Greenberg (now in the B2 North) and Chris Dubois (Alnylium) – BFAB IS BACK!!

I’m now 1-0 as a “coach” in All-Star Game play. The best part? Tibbsy Poo’s ego was damaged beyond repair for losing a Draft Challenge to an out-of-shape D+ Player. Next – he’ll start losing chugging challenges to 22-year olds. WHOOPS – that happened in the off-season as well.

Well enough of crapping all over Tibbs’ pastiness and lack of judgment when it comes to actually building a talented team….and ON TO THE PREVIEW!!!

Tibbs and I will roll through the muddied water of the 12 teams in the Wild Wild West. I will compile our thoughts in the end and produce this season’s first “B2 West Power Poll”. For those new to the league – I refresh the Power Poll roughly every other week based on the play that happens each night. I can’t wait to hang withcha all at the Monday Night Meltdowns at the Morse this summer. Refreshments are mandatory for me hanging out there and sweating while standing. Don’t make me start wearing wife beaters like Joe Viera of Drago does on occasion.

Tibbs – for some reason – I will relent and since there are 12 teams – you get to pick the bottom of the barrel. The first three teams 9-through-12 are up to you. I act as if I’m giving you a candy bar where in essence I’m just setting you up (again) for the 12th seed to hate you for the rest of the summer season.

By the way – where is my case of ice cold beer for being undefeated in All-Star Coaching play?? ON WITH THE SHOW!

TIBBS: Wait a second, to whom and when did I lose this supposed chugging contest?? I’m a man of durability, substance, and incredible good looks (that’s what she said!). At no point in time would I lose a drinking contest, especially to any of the losers that hang out with me.

I think I dug myself in a hole there, so, moving on, YES I do still owe you beers, it’s humiliating enough to lose that game with what I thought was a sure fire runaway winner, but now everyone is reminded of it, again.

Thankfully my job is easy for the bottom rung of the barrel. None of these teams can really get mad at me, because they’re unknown, or have proved, in the past, they belong here (I’m looking at you ALS!!), so really, you get the tough part by trying to sort between the rest of the 8 other teams. Ha, I win again, as always, eventually, sometimes.

12. Players With Talent – Jamil Ball certainly is the master recruiter. Despite putting in 3 of his own teams, when I needed one more squad to round out the B2 West, he came to the rescue and put together a squad in a matter of 30 hours. Impressive stuff, but will they be any good? I have no idea, Jamil seems to know an endless string of guys that play ball, but Exantus is the only real known commodity on this team. Will they run the O through him? Are there superstars in the woodwork waiting to emerge as the next great CAC personalities? We’ll find out soon.

11. TBA – A bunch of free agents, plus Glumac and Gelow giving it another go in the B2 leagues. We’ll see how they gel and fit together. I know that Kyle Kelly claims to be a baller, but let’s see him back it up on the court first. We’ve gotten confirmation from everyone, so they won’t have any problems with attendance, if they do, I always have a FA waiting in the wings, but I expect them to take a few weeks to feel each other up, I mean out, and find some winning chemistry. Of course, having just peeked at the starting schedule, their first 3 games are all against playoff teams from last season. I swear I’m not out to get anyone, it just appears that way to all of you. Anytime Glumac wants to get me an actual team name to put in this slot, that’d be fanfreakingtastic.

10. John Bagley’s Body – Please note, this team is ranked the highest of the newbies simply because of the awesome team name. If the actual John Bagley were on this squad, then they’d be ranked, well in another league entirely. Brian Shaw and Dee Brown are not walking through that door fellas! Anyway, this is a group of guys that seems excited to play in the leagues and are chomping at the bit ready to go. Of course, they start the season with a couple games against teams in this ‘bracket’ of the West, so getting off to a good start is key for them, if they want to move up in the Power Poll.

9. ALS-TDF – Ben ‘Shaq’ Heywood says their adding a pg to open up the offense, but I don’t see anyone new on the roster to help himself and the Byrd get good, clean looks on offense. Even with all of their games moving to CAC (bumping CPP to Morse as a result) I don’t know if their offense is going to improve significantly enough for them to make the playoffs, let alone a charge at .500. I’m praying, hoping they do something in the next week or so to prove me wrong, but unless they do, or find some magic shooting formula, which C.A.C. then steals, patents and sells for even MORE profits, this is where they belong, and could end up, starting the season.

Your move funny man!!

BFAB: AS USUAL – you go mucking up the operation already – I said let’s do this in buckets of three teams – but you go overboard with 4. As much as I can tell Jamil till I’m blue in the face that a team he puts together will never lose to a team I put together ever again – there is NO WAY a team he is associated with finished last in any division. No chance.

The problem I have here though is Jamil is listed on 162 teams yet he works for the CAC on Monday nights? How is this possible? So if Jamil puts his name on every B2 roster – does it save everyone the entry fee for their team? Discounts for every team!! Well – except for a certain team in the B2 North that will remain nameless Smile THE X-FACTOR IS BACK IN THE WEST! Through your 1000 line drivel, Sir Pasty – you did get something right though – if the offense is going directly through Exantus – then it will be truly offensive for this squad.

Anywhooooo – if we are naming teams in the bottom 4 – how does Drago not get a mention here? The day after McNabb playful laughed at my plyometric routine – the Curse Of BFab West was tossed upon them. I’m not sure if theyíve won a game since! And Viera is showing up in full white on white wife-beaters, sneakers, and shorts with a glossy, sa-tine look to them – I thought he was a 1980’s model for Sergio Valente or something…and this team is considered middle of the pack?? No one wins with wife beaters. Not the fans, not the refs, not the janitors. No one. I think not and they will be placed in this bottom 4 before the night is out for sure.

Hey Glumac/Gelow – where is Orange Slices and Tino? This team looks brutal…maybe that’s why it remains nameless? Geesh…

And any brandy new team needs to be in the bottom of the heap just like Bagley’s career with the Celts. But fellas – once the summer season starts and it is freakin 143 degrees inside the Morse – the first team who brings adult cold beverages to the scorers table moves up the prestigious Power Poll. Just ask the News Team…

AS for the ALS – even though they are abandoning the Morse (smart move fellas) and forcing the defending B2 West Champs down to the Hot Box – they are ONE player away from being in the playoffs this season. Did they find someone? Hope so…The Bird needs to take flight and become tougher in his second season at the CAC. Heywood seems to always find a way. Drago “under” ALS is my call and High Ankle Sprain is not too far behind…

TIBBS: – Let me quote “The first three teams 9-through-12 is up to you.” – since I usually start to fall asleep about the third paragraph that and I saw the numbers – 9 – 12 is four teams seems like someone needs a math lesson.

And why the book summarizing exactly what I just said but not putting the next four teams on blast? You want me to be the one offending people still? NOT gonna happen! All I’ve got to say is that Drago does NOT belong with these last 4 teams – you’re up bookman

BFAB: Damn you…I picked up on that after I sent it. And you get a double whammy by sending it back to me to pick the next four – which means you get the EASY part of picking the top 4. Silly.

Team 8 – Drago/ALS – we agree to disagree here as I would flip flop ALS and Drago as Heywood plucked The Bird last season and I feel he might have another trick up his sleeve. He’s aiming for the playoffs this season and obviously needs to be in the 8th slot to make it.

But since we already spun a web for ALS – Drago will hold down the 8th slot here as they added a former Division 1 walk on and I mistakenly thought McNabb was still 22 years old and that Porter was actually playing with two good hands and I gave them the 5 seed last season. NO CHANCE here. But will McNabb become too frustrated and go the way of Kip? Is Kip coming back ever? Would help this squad immensely. They lost 15 points a game and replaced him with Coffey. Now – we pick on Coffey cause he was billed as a D1 (Northeastern) walk-on – but you gotta give the big fella credit. He has robotics on his legs and was just getting his feet wet with the CAC style of play – so look for him to get better and better as the season progresses – but they need more to move up and it does not look like they added anyone.

Team 7 – High Ankle Sprain: – Right off the bat – any team that makes fun of ankles is not a friend of mine. For those of you who do not know – I ruptured my achilles and it rolled up like a fruit roll up into my calf. Heel fracture for some icing on the cake. So any mention of ankles, feet, calf muscles, tendons, etc makes me cringe – so of course, a newer team does it to get on my bad side.

But these characters are not totally new to the game. Mike Marien was tired of hanging out in the shadows of Bar Stool Acosta and Pat Sparkles Spaeth with the Average Joe’s and put together his own run n gun n fun team surrounded by B2 West All-Star (yup – another of my selections!) Nate Ray. Ray is an “A” – if he was playing in A1, which means he has attendance issues – so while Nate will single handedly keep this squad in the middle of the pack – he needs more help as he is good for at least 3 misses a season. Marien was great off the bench for the Joe’s – but does his Player Rater go up with 30-35 minutes a game – or does the team suffer?? Howard Mapp sounds familiar – but it also stinks of a place holder for some D2 superstar from Oklahoma Wesleyan that just moved back East…time will tell.

Team 6: Channel 4 News Team: I know for a fact that Mike Shea is going back to school so these guys lose one of the top 3 players in all of B2 West for primarily the season. Team President & C.E.O “El Gato: Maguire MUST have something up his sleeve to leave this team on Monday nights knowing Shea Money will not be cashing in. Isn’t Daniel Cheeseburger Warren getting hitched too? Is the MAC back in town? WAY too many questions for this team as they move forward. I promote these guys to the hilt for their unselfish style of play, the fact they all get along also goes a long way (some teams will say it is the No.1 reason some teams are just better then others), but no Shea, spotty play from Warren and with Que Serra Serra all of a sudden being an attendance problem guy – we have some serious ironing to do before the season starts.
So let’s set expectations low here and build. YES WE CAN fellas.

Team 5: Alynlium – I can honestly say – it was a PLEASURE watching Dubois (who you left off the original All-Star squad) decimate your rag tag bunch of All-Stars – including his teammate Baby Face – who was just lost against the Law Firm of (Lee) Greenberg and (Ross) Goldberg. Been wearing my championship yamaka ever since!! Baby Face might of even quit that game…not sure cause he was so transparent in the stat line. You are welcome, Chris.

Anyway – these guys could be making a bigger splash in the Power Poll by season end. This season could be it as Dubois can officially say he is off the Tibbsanator bandwagon after the HUGE snub in the All-Star draft. And when one disassociates themselves from Tibbs (see A1 Finals – i.e. Jumpman) usually good things happen.

If the squad is back and intact – there is no question these guys are back in the playoffs – but can they go the distance this year after a very disappointing loss to CPP who were without their pride and joy – The Big Ragu. Still licking their wounds from that loss – and that’s why they stay here…and no father up the chain till I see them avenge that loss.

BATTER UP DOUGH BOY!!

TIBBS: How is this supposed to be easy? I’m left with Huffed Out, The Pidgeons, Rebels and Canal Park Posse.

I LOVE that you have the C4NTs in the bottom half of the preview. Are you officially, finally, three seasons too late, off the bandwagon?? They haven’t been the same since their rookie season and they took the league by storm. Once you jumped on the bandwagon it was all down hill from here. I’m not the ONLY one that gives the Kiss of Death around here.

How is Huffed out ranked ahead of Alnylium?? My boys are coming off their best season ever, but STILL get no respect from you in the preseason power poll. At least you have them in the top half, but I’d have had them in the top 4. You’re slacking. This West league seems a bit weaker this season, how can they not be expected to build on the momentum from last season’s playoff win??

MY top 4 looks as such:

4. Alnylium/Huffed Out – You disagree with ALS, I disagree with Alnylium. Huge surprise, I don’t like the bile you’re spewing. Rugga is of course bringing his boys back, but as you were so fond of saying last season, they were just a few bounces away from being at the bottom of the barrel. I didn’t see them that much, and won’t again this season, so it’s on you to make sure that they don’t think too much of themselves this season.

3. Runnin’ Rebels – Jamil put in about 7 teams this season, overtaking you for ‘most chances at a banner’, and you’ve forced me to put this Rebels squad here. They don’t have a whole lot of size, or scoring, other than the combo of Jamil and Hudson. But Hudson ‘got bored’ on a really good B2 West squad last season. Can he be called upon to carry a bigger load this season? Or will he not feel like it?

2. Pat Pidgeons – Once again, they’re ranked near the top, will probably finish there, but is THIS the season that they finally win a first round playoff game?!?! It’s been what, exactly a year since they’ve done that. That’s 3 FULL seasons for those that aren’t so good at that math. It’s been a long time since Captain AHAB has tasted the sweet nectar of post season victory. There have been some solid tweaks to this roster, and like I said before, I feel like the West is pretty open this season, so they’ve got a great shot at the top overall seed, but can’t rank them there now.

1. Canal Park Posse – They lost their best player for the entire Winter 09 post season and still made the B2 Final Four. That’s impressive. For that feat alone, they deserve recognition for the # 1 overall spot. But their biggest challenge won’t be compensating for the long-term loss of the Big Ragu, oh no, it will be the fact that almost all their games are at the Morse this season. That’s right, they got the bump and will play all the 6:20 games at Morse instead of CAC this season. That may balance things out and prevent them from going unbeaten, but until teams prove they can take down the 8 headed monster, this is where they deserve to be ranked.

Any final thoughts before posting this on the boards??

BFAB: I left ALS where they were – I put Drago ahead of them VERY reluctantly and now you want me to flip flop Baby Face with Rugga after his three-point stinker in the All-Star game? Well – I guess Rugga played on the losers as well – so you, being the Captain Loser – should know all too well who goes in front to be King of the Losers…

BUT – while I will leave your choices in the middle of the pack alone – as I know they will change after the first week. I am NOT giving you the final word and Pat’s Pidgeons gets the kiss of death as the No.1 seed to start the playoffs. Any team that loses a first team All-CAC defensive player (Matt Thompson) THEN loses one of the best big men to ever play B2 West in Giorgio – can not be expected to defend an undefeated regular season crown – can they? Just cause Kansas one the NCAA title in 2007 didn’t give them the right to the No.1 slot the next season. Sam applies here. No Giorgio? No Number One slot. AND I think Piper is all done as well. Straw that stirs the drink is gone too?? go ahead Ain, Charm, and Chopko – prove me wrong.

But Iím never wrong cause if it is decided that I am wrong – I admit it – which just makes me right AGAIN.

TIBBS: You’re crazy, there is no way the Pidgeons get the # 1 spot! I step back from this debacle, and all the blame is getting put on YOUR shoulders, this is YOUR move, YOUR preview, YOUR mistake alone! [/b]

BFAB: Come on – if they get Colombo back in the fold AND the additiion of Valles (the shooter they are missing) – this team WILL be the team to beat as the middle will open up for Killer Ken to dominate. Now – the North team Valles (pronounced – VIAAAA-ESSS) – LOVE IT – that’s a different story as that team will be a disaster. But Valles fits with these guys as long as he defers from time to time to the vets that run this show (Cole, AHAM, CVS, etc).

Week 1 B2 West Power Poll:

1. Pat’s Pidgeons
2. Canal Park Posse
3. Running Rebel
4. Alynlium
5. Huffed Out
6. Channel 4 News Team
7. High Ankle Sprain
8. Drago
9. ALS-TDF
10. John Bagley’s Body
11. TBD
12. Players With Talent