World Cup

The World Cup is currently the talk of the world, except in the United States where we are much more pre-occupied with Phil Mickelson’s club choice on 18 rather than anything being done on the ‘pitch.’ But I think by watching a bit of the World Cup we could all learn some valuable lessons from a sport the rest of the world calls football.

 

Born In The USA

For those of us that were taught growing up that soccer guys donít get the girls, have you seen the Fox Sports gallery of World Cup babes? This explains why all-time US goal scorer and ESPN analyst Eric Wynalda has that ìI really wish I was born in another countryî look on his face every time he looks into the camera. http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/pgStory?contentId=5676192&pageNumber=1

 

Americans Can Be So Immature Sometimes

Now that you are back from the bathroom, did you happen to catch ESPN soccer analyst Julie Faudy giggle like a school girl after Wynalda indicated that an Argentinian player currently suffered from dwarfism? The awkwardness in the studio could have been cut with a stilt.

 

Some Things Are Better Left In Europe

It appears that there is a tradition for team captains to exchange sweat-soaked jerseys after the game as a gesture of good sportsmanship. As always, the league offices are interested in any feedback as to whether we should implement this tradition of good sportsmanship at CRFC. Of course, you will not receive a new jersey until 2010.

 

Land of Confusion

Making it pretty confusing for the novice viewer like myself, soccer fans are apparently allowed to bring (and blow) their own whistles during games. Mark Cuban is currently lobbying David Stern to be able to do the same in NBA arenas.

 

Clock/Cash Management

After the actual 90 minute time expires, the referee is allowed to simply add an undisclosed amount of time to extend the game. I am sure the amount of time he adds has nothing to do with which team he has a brick on at -140.

 

Tue Sei Terribileí, Wolverine

I watched a game between Togo and Switzerland where there was so much complaining to the referee that it was like watching a Ripcord/Millenium game. I was really enjoying these arguments until I remembered that before the game ESPN noted that the referee was Japanese! How does this work? Was the referee required to learn Swiss and whatever language they speak in Togo before the game? I still think this is the most entertaining part of the game though and from now on, I will only acknowledge complaints communicated to me in a foreign language.

 

Soccer Trap

Speaking of the referees, I noticed that they periodically write things down on a very small notepad that they keep in their sock during the games. This must be because he has to do the write-ups for the games later on that night. I wonder if he has his own blog too.

 

World Poker Tour

I am a big fan of all of the flopping that goes on in soccer. I have been told by some former soccer players that flopping is actually an art form used to both get calls from the referee and to get a much needed rest ñ the soccer equivalent of trying to take a charge at CRFC.

 

If you want to be a soccer coach, you have to shop at Armani

Other than Pat Riley, NBA coaches are historically terrible dressers (see Lou Carnesseca, Flip Saunders, any Van Gundy that has ever coached). But have you seen these European soccer coaches? And they play outdoors on grassÖ

 

No Checking

I am glad to see that the World Cup has implemented the CRFC ìno need to check the ball with the refereeî rule after fouls and out of bounds plays. And just like CRFC players, soccer players take some serious liberties with their ball placement.

 

Daryl, Daryl

While American fans are perpetually stuck on the ridiculous wave and ìLetís Go Red Soxî chants, soccer fans seemingly have very rhythmic and unified chants accompanied by both drums and some of the largest flags I have ever seen.

 

Italians Do It Better

The Italian soccer team is by far the best looking group of men I have ever seen. And you know you agree.

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