Let me tell you guys, it’s not easy being the person to give out awards, because it means I gotta break a lotta hearts, piss people off, feed-egos, create egos, and moreover remind myself that none are ever bestowed upon me (sigh).
It’s been a great season and I’ve loved working with all of you guys, even if the feelings not mutualó I’m no stranger to unrequited love. The current plan of action is to return in the fall and continue to nurture you all from the teet of my pen, let the ink flow!! Now that I have my very own sanctioned Box http://cacbasketball.com/
Make sure to sign your team up ASAP for next season so I can begin developing a preview that will rock your socks off!! Now on with the showÖ
Most Valuable Player: The one, The Only, The Rolls Royce, ODB ñ Was there really any question in this department? It takes a lot to be an MVP and Royce’s got it all and a bag of trans-fat free, 100 calorie, extra-crunchy, zesty flavored chips. He has not only lead the league on the playa rata all season (aside from AO’s quick stint), but he consistently shows up ready to play, 101 temp or not, every game, every possession. Without him, ODB would not have earned themselves the best record in this league and if anyone else had been wise enough to roster him they too could have been checkin’ out the view from the top in all its glory. Royce is the guy who can turn the game around, give him the ball and he can get it done. If he was selfish like Terry, he could drive to the hoop at will, all day, every day. But he’s a team player, he even brought me my own personal fan to keep cool on the sides. Congrats Royce!! You earned this badboy. But don’t get all pissy with me as I continueÖRunners up: KO (Saugus Blades), Spidle (Silky Johnson)
Defensive Player of the Year: My Hubby, Adam O’Connor, Silky J ñ I’ve lost many a night’s sleep over this oneóthe award people, the award!!! There are so many well deserved contenders for the recognition, but for reasons that have nothing to do with his sass&charm, AO takes the cake. He may not be on the top of the Def. Playa Rata statistically, but his athleticism and agility alone, along with his wingspan allow him to cover a lot of terrain on the court and he uses this ability to his advantage. He has helped Silky Johnson to stifle their opponents and maintain the leagues lowest points allowed per game average. He also manages to grab an insane amount of rebounds on a team saturated with rebounders, where as Royce and KO pretty much do all the rebounding for their respective teams. AO, you might wanna watch your back for a couple a weeks while the dust settles on this one. Runners up: Royce (ODB), KO (Saugus Blades), Zack Toth (Hostile Take Over), Pete Mugar (The Corp)
Rookie of the Year: Khalid Lakanwal, Hostile Takeover. In an inaugural league, many of you would argue that you’re all rookies, but I had my eye on brand spankin new CACtriubtes that have now, hopefully, found themselves sucked into the cult that is CAC Basketball. Standing out from these fine men was The Immortal King Khalid who has helped lead Hostile Takeover to a 6-3 record going into the playoffs. Khalid’s leadership, hustle and ability to shoot the rock caught my eye early on, and I have no doubt that a large amount of his team’s success can be attributed to him, even if MixTape argues otherwise. Khalid has definitely slated a name for himself in the leagues and will be a player to watch out for in upcoming seasons, as I only expect his impact to increase. Bonus points for not only his ill ballin, for for his ability to throw it down afterwards at the WT. Keep it up Khalid! We hope to see more of that pretty face round these parts! Runners Up: Mike Kelley (Who Knows), Dave (Who Knows), Mike Fraher (The Corp), Dan Adamson (Mustard Gas)
GM of the Year: Kip “The Cage Fighter” West, ODB Cheese assured me that he did not want the credit for this one and that it went to Kip. Bravo for putting this crew together Kip. Did these guys just fall into your lap or is there a connecting thread that knits you all together?? Drafting the MVP is obviously a huge bonus, but bringing in handlers like Van Voorhheis & Pistol Pete and pickin’ up Cheese who played absolutely out of his mind this season (to think I used to be able to keep up with him on the pick-up courtóthose days are no longer!!). And we can’t forget the utility crew, Jack MacCarthy, the Predator & Sylvestor who step it up when needed and balance this team out to perfection. Props to the Corp for beating you guys, I’d like to see them do it again! Runners Up: **NOT** TIBBS…The Surgeon General (Hostile Takeover), Mike D. (Saugus Blades)
Unsung Team: The Corporation. Ususally this award goes to an individual player, but I feel as though as a team The Corp defines what it means to be “unsung.” Overshadowed by all the personality at CAC this team quietly got the job done throughout the season and fought their way to the top game by game. You never caught them on the message boards (why the hell not?!?), or complaining about lines before the game, they just showed up and played. There are no super stars or show boats on this team, and that’s why they are so good. Their teamwork is inspiring, perhaps they should initiate a picnic with Little Nasty some Saturday afternoon, give them a little lesson on passing and humility in general. Best of luck to you guys in the playoffs and thanks for being so pleasurable to watch all seasonóInvitations to to my Box are in the mail, it’s my goal to get your personalities out to the rest of the league!! Runner Up: Unsung PlayeróThe Alius, Silky Johnson
6Th Man Award/Most Improved: Jack MacCarthy, ODB ñ Both of these awards go to none other than Jack O’ Lantern, Jack Knife, Jack ‘n’ Coke, (insert play on words involving the name Jack). Jack as been coming off the bench for ODB all season, and I’ve watched his confidence bloom. The level of play never dips as he transitions into the ODB rotation seamlessly. With his gangly limbs he’s a scrappy and hustle-y (yup, made up word) defender and now that he’s gained some shot confidence he’s good for at least 3 treys a game. Sound and consistent, Jack’s the kind of guy anyone would be happy to have starting on their team. Perhaps he just needed to shake off some early season jitters, because by the end of this season he looks to be heading into the play-offs as a serious impact player amongst a team of top-notch players, including the MVP!! Runners Up: Zach Toth (Hostile Takeover), Sam Quinn (Hostile Takeover)
1st Team: Rolls Royce, James Spidle, KO, Pete Mugar, Terrycloth Henderson
2nd Team: AO, King Kalid, JaySar, Paul Zermani, Phil Van Voorhheis
If the people on the 1st and 2nd team are injured or out of town: MixTape, Zach Toth, Will Jones, Josh F, Billy Fratelli
Defensive Team: AO, Rolls Royce, Zach Toth, KO, Mugar
The Awards that Really Matter: I was never an overwhelming recipient of MVP awards or Best of anything. I always got the Heart award, or the Perseverance award. Ha, as if to say, keep trying or thanks for all your hard work but you’re STILL lame. But that’s not how I feel about any of you guys, so here are the winners of this season’s very important somewhat obscure and off the radar awards.
The Mick Jagger Award: For the best lead vocalist goes to Pistol Pete of ODB. Part intimidation, part inspiration and part turrets, this guy was noticeably the most verbal on the court for his team and I loved every last word he dropped.
The Invanka Trump Award: A great player and deadly shooter Tommy Kís skills may have been a bit lost in the mix on Little Nasty, but his keen sense of fashion and delectable game day dÈcor never went unnoticed by yours trulyÖdefinitely the best dressed to take the court.
The Hannibal Letctor Award: Chris Hunter, Saugus Blades. Nobody wanted the ball in their hands when Hunter was guarding themóif you had it heíd hunt you down and eat you alive. A tenacious defender who may not have had tons of steals, blocks or rebounds but who played straight out DENY defense.
The Hemmingway Award: No, not EarnestÖIím talking about the most famous bar in the world at the Hotel Ritz in Paris. And you know who should be sitting behind it? Danny Ryan of SDM, because goddammit heís the best bartender in the world and he can play some mean ball taboot. And hopefully that gets me at least 1 free Guinness at the WT some night.
The Home Depot Award: Capitalizing on Americaís ìdo it yourselfî ambitions this warehouse provides all anyone could need and No one has a more ìdo it yourselfîattitude than Terrycloth Henderson of Little Nasty.
The Dominique Wilkins Award: Arguably the most underrated NBA player with ridiculous talent, in his name I bestow this award to Mike ìMixTapeî Turin– Hostile Takeover. The Turiniator would argue that he is the most underrated player in this league and after watching closely what he had to bring to the table in his final game, I tend to agree with him. A tenacious rebounder with strong moves to the hoop and a small basketball ego make him a consistant player that doesnít always get taken seriously. So what if his team didnít make it to the finals, he deserves recognition dammitóhe is after all top 3 on the player rater, who knew?!
The Insert Foot In Mouth Award: Mike D (Blades) and BWad (Mustard Gas) I think these two both take the cake for their memorable message board rants that are hilarious, offensive, and likely to be taken down by board administrators. Hey, if you canít get recognized on the court, then why not draw attention to yourself elsewhereÖhmm on second thought, maybe I should call this the JBerr Award??
All JBerr Dream Team: Just because there are players in this league that I like more than everyone else. And yeah, there are 6 because I like to have an ace in the hole.
AO, Silky J
BFrat, LiL Nasty
Toth, Hostile Takeover
Phil Van V (aka Friday 13th), ODB
Brady, Little Nasty