An Open Apology to Matty Bells

Dear Matty,

I hope this letter finds you well. I want to get this off my chest before I lose my nerve and maybe never tell you. As I type this at 11 PM, I wonder if the final B Draft game of the night has even ended yet.  Really, I don’t give a crap, I’m just curious if anyone has been locked into the Club yet this season. It’s only week 2, I’m sure someone will by the end of the season.

Anyway, that’s not the point of this letter. If it has one at all, it’s simply to say I’m sorry.  I feel like, just two weeks into the season, I’ve let you down.  I know you’ve expected a whole lot more out of me, and I have failed to deliver.

I was woefully unprepared coming into this #BDraft season. Based on the history of your drafting and expertise, I just kind of expected to walk over teams this season. I have clearly not showed up to games in the right state of mind or ready to play in the least. I wasn’t prepared for the intensity, the heart or the physicality that is brought each week. It doesn’t help that I showed up to our first game of the season rocking Shawn Kemp’s post ‘99 lockout body.

I’ve apologized to you before. I’ve sent you many a heartfelt, and unanswered, text messages. I’ve stalked your gchat icon to see just when you’ve come back from being idle. Hell, I’ve sent you flowers from Melrose Blossoms (have you heard of this place? I heard they have good people) but I feel like all my efforts have been for not.

I know you’ve said that you accept my apology and, to quote, ‘it’s not your fault, Tibbs’ but I don’t think you really mean it. I see the doubt in your eyes as you wonder whether or not you made the right decision. I mean, you could have had your man crush (hi LeBlanc!) at #12 too!

The light bulb didn’t get switched on until the third time I got knocked in the jaw tonight. I realize know, it’s going to take a hell of an effort to win this league this season. Yes I know we won tonight, but god damn was that ugly. This team has the D (38 points against tonight) and has the heart, hustle, physicality and all those other things needed to win, I just need to get my mind right. I am ready to go coach. You won’t find a guy who’s more fired up and ready to play each week for the rest of the season.