B2 5v5 Combined Rankings – All 53 Teams!

Unfortunately, we are not having a giant March Madness style bracket for the B2 5v5 playoffs, even though that would be incredibly fun. This blog is for entertainment purposes only!

The actually playoff format will consist of the top 8 teams from each division will make their playoffs, and the winner of that 8 team bracket will move on to the Unification Bracket. 

Uni Bracket will give a BYE to the 2 teams with the best records and play itself out like that.
Playoff dates/times/locations here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ap8yZgk0io8MdEpIUnVRT1JRWWVYSFhZQWI0YklKUEE#gid=0
Subject to change depending on how the rest of the season plays out

But who cares about what will actually happen, let’s think about what COULD happen. I’ve decided to rank all 53 of the B2 5v5 teams and see how they would fit into a bracket facing each other. Sure some of the Sunday leagues have only played 3 games so far, but who cares! This was too good of an idea to pass up. I ranked all the teams (with minimal input from other sources) and also attached a spreadsheet of what a March Madness style bracket *would* look like if we were to do it. It’s a slow Monday and I have some write-ups to do, so of course I procrastinated.

The great thing about a format like this is that teams with losing records would be favored to win a playoff game! Once you win one, that can snowball (damn you baltimore). Anyway, take a look at what I came up with. Lots of my bias sprinkled in here, let me know what you think!

“A Playoff Upset would be Historic” division
53 Shakin Bacon (0-3 N) – Someone has to be ranked last, poor Shakin….
52 Goo Goo Balls (0-5 C) – at least they’re not last!
51 Servidio & Sons (0-4 M) – That game against Reloaded can’t come fast enough
50 TuneSquad (1-3 M) – What’s going on in the Sunday night leagues?!?
49 The Fly Ballers (0-5 S) – Obviously I’ve seen the most of the South so these teams may get undeserved bumps up
48 Shot Callers (0-6 E) – East is the most legit, balanced division in B2 5v5
47 ReLoaded (0-4 M) – see Servidio & Sons
46 Court Blazers (1-5 E) – Isn’t it great when 1 team wins only have beaten teams without a win?!
45 3 Finger Minimum (1-4 E) – East is a sprawling 12 team wasteland
44 Oxford Boys Club (0-5 W) – Maybe I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt here to an illustrious franchise
43 The Manswers (2-4 S) – Manswers somehow ranked lower in the 53 team combined than the 16 team S/C mash-up I did last week
42 Hand Down Man Down (1-3 N) – It’s Time for the Percolator

“Not Historic, but a Playoff upset would be Shocking” Division
41 Tummy Sticks (2-4 E) – Wait I have to come up with a blurb for all 53 teams?!?
40 Not A Dime Back (1-2 N) – I definitely want my money back after doing this
39 No P-Mo, Mo Problems (1-4 W) – PMo would help these guys out a lot this season, contract holdout?!
38 The Manch (2-3 W) – I have nothing on these guys, but here seems correct for them.
37 Bucking Fuffalos (2-4 C) – Rough middle of the season for these guys, but the good news is they have 3 weeks to turn it around
36 Careful What You Swish For (2-4 S) – Again, I don’t see another winnable game on their schedule
35 603 (3-3 E) – Forfeit wins always help your record
34 Team F (2-4 S) – 2 straight blown double digit second half leads, woulda/coulda/shoulda been higher
33 Let’s Try This Again (2-4 C) – most talented squad ranked this low
32 BostonHomeViewer.com (2-4 E) – Couple nice wins on the resume

“This is Where Things Get Interesting” Division
31 Vinegar Strokes (2-2 N) – A couple good wins but a couple blowout loses
30 The Tropics (2-2 M) – They’ve been here and done this before, they’ll turn it around
29 Team DUDEY Dudes (3-2 W) – who?
28 Murph Forgot His Shorts (1-3 N) – Been competitive every game and so close to putting it all together
27 Swamp Donkey Legends (3-2 W) –

“Better Than They’ve Played” Division
26 PrimioTickets (3-3 E) – The retirement of Douche as really thrown this squad for an unexpected loop
25 The Stranger (2-4 C) – Gentile knows what it takes to win, do the other guys on this team?
24 Rick Fox, The Actor (2-2 M) –
23 Minus 1 Cuban (3-3 E) – #TIBBSTRONG
22 Hot Rim Action (3-2 W) – Take advantage of a weakened West
21 Steam Boats (2-1 N) – PootieTang’s season ending injury probably killed their title hopes
20 Bropocolypse (3-3 S) – The definition of ‘better than they’ve played’

“Enough Time to move into a BYE” Division
19 Huge Play Funk (2-1 N) – Intriguing roster and team make-up, might not have enough scoring to go the distance though
18 Repo Men (5-1 E) – I’m not sold on the Repo Men until they can get past Mason in the playoffs
17 Hurricane Ditka (4-2 C) – Wiley vets know how to get it done, this could be their season
16 Ball So Hard (4-2 S) – Ended their slump at the right time
15 Just the Tip-Offs (3-1 M) – Another Former Champ waiting in the weeds
14 Kung Fu Pandas (4-2 C) – Shut up rubin, you’re not ranked too low
13 44 Minutes of Hell (4-1 E) – Former B2 5v5 Champs are lurking
12 Earl Monroe Silk Factory (4-1 W) – Another case of questionable offense if facing some of the top teams

“BYES into the 2nd Round” Division
11 Good Fah You (4-0 M) – Beats me, but they’re undefeated
10 For the Win (5-1 C) – Doing just enough to continue to win most weeks
9 #pigslife (5-1 S) – I guess someone believes in them
8 Regime Boat (4-1 W) – Good to have Graham, Mahoney & co back
7 Hoosier Daddy (4-0 N) -almost lost to a 1 win team last night
6 NUB (5-1 E) – Don’t count out the former C league champs, they’ve threatened for the title before
5 Harvard Hoopsters (3-1 N) – Best team in the North already has a lost, but Camden is

“Favorites to Win It All” Division
4 Honey Nut Cheerios (5-1 C) – their 2 bigs give them a huge advantage over most other teams
3 Rail Splitters (6-0 E) – Lots of guys with B1 5v5 experience will make this team hard to knock off
2 Really, Really High Flyers (4-0 M) – Might be the first team of 4v4 all-stars to win a 5v5 league!
1 Kevin Ali (6-0 S) As much as I want to hate on them this team is nearly unstoppable



Again, if we could make this work there are tons of great matchups and upsets waiting to happen! Maybe we’ll try for next season…

I like the Final 4 consisting of the Kevin Ali, the Harvard Hoopsters, Kung Fu Pandas and Hoosier Daddy with this bracket.


  • Good stuff Tibbs. I don’t know much about 95% of the teams but Kevin Ali definitely looks like #1 so I will take our #2 overall ranking.

  • #5HH…. Really? The only undefeated team in B-2 north is 2 slots below the team they beat!!…smh truly tragic bracketeering… other then that hats off

    • Normally I’d say there was legit beef with that but the Hoopsters added Camden and he might be the only guy in the tourney capable of averaging 30 a night – I definitely jus pissed off half the ‘scorers’ in the L – totally worth it

      • LOL…truly… I can promise Mr. Camden and the boys of “Harvard” <-(to be read in a slighty pretentious/arrogant voice)….will surely get the best of play from here on out…

  • You know I’m going to comment on your biased hatred for KFP Tibbs. Here it is once again: KFP is a top 5 team and Mike Joachin is unstoppable. End of story…see you in the finals against Really, Really High Flyers (fuck..). But good choice with RRHF for #2 overall, that may be accurate.

    Keith > tibbs

  • Why is this not happening this season!!! If this doesn’t happen next season, I say we RIOT!

  • I have a dream that some day we will have a unification tournament of 64 teams, and that we too will have Gus Johnson shrieking at courtside. I have a dream.

  • Great, now that Ali is #1 we’ll lose fast as Indiana.

    Only critique I have from the B2 North is my boys Not a Dime Back should be up like 10 spots, swap em with Vinegar Strokes


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