B2 East Winter ’07 Preview

Since the normal narrative rankings seem so boring nowadays (seriously, I have run out of Serenity Now references), I have attached a New Year’s resolution to each team’s seed that might really help improve their chances of winning it all this season.  I do realize that you may also have a few resolutions for me, but, well, get your own blog!

#1 BALCO

To shake the ‘most dominant CRFC team never to win a title’ tag and actually win the unification championship this season.

#2 CHA-CHING

To not fade away down the stretch of the season again, like the Red Sox do every season (2004 excluded).

#3 GENZYME

To prove to the East that we can play with the best of them, when we really feel like it.

#4 BIOGEN

To continue to use our size advantage to its fullest, a la Selma Hayek.

#5 RIPCORD

To focus more on the actual game and less on the actual Wolverine.

#6 SERENITY NOW

To recover quickly from this really long plunge in our pre-season ranking.

#7 MULLETS

To realize that our past glory only goes so far with our fan base (see the Boston Celtics).

#8 SOLID GOLD

To find a way to win at least a few of those really close games that we always seem to have.

#9 DRAGO

To understand that our best shot at a title is to play these games 3 on 3.

WILD (Samoan) CARDS – From Parts Unknown, Weight Unknown…

BEACON TOWN BEAVERS

To admit that ‘Gray’ and ‘Chunky’ are no way to describe a successful beaver.

LIBERTY MUTUAL

To not get mad at the Wolverine for using yet another Geico joke in his write-ups.  

BAD NEWS BEARS

To realize that the only Bad News Bear worth modeling your life after was Kelly.