B2 East Winter ’07 Preview
Since the normal narrative rankings seem so boring nowadays (seriously, I have run out of Serenity Now references), I have attached a New Year’s resolution to each team’s seed that might really help improve their chances of winning it all this season. I do realize that you may also have a few resolutions for me, but, well, get your own blog!
#1 BALCO
To shake the ‘most dominant CRFC team never to win a title’ tag and actually win the unification championship this season.
#2 CHA-CHING
To not fade away down the stretch of the season again, like the Red Sox do every season (2004 excluded).
#3 GENZYME
To prove to the East that we can play with the best of them, when we really feel like it.
#4 BIOGEN
To continue to use our size advantage to its fullest, a la Selma Hayek.
#5 RIPCORD
To focus more on the actual game and less on the actual Wolverine.
#6 SERENITY NOW
To recover quickly from this really long plunge in our pre-season ranking.
#7 MULLETS
To realize that our past glory only goes so far with our fan base (see the Boston Celtics).
#8 SOLID GOLD
To find a way to win at least a few of those really close games that we always seem to have.
#9 DRAGO
To understand that our best shot at a title is to play these games 3 on 3.
WILD (Samoan) CARDS – From Parts Unknown, Weight Unknown…
BEACON TOWN BEAVERS
To admit that ‘Gray’ and ‘Chunky’ are no way to describe a successful beaver.
LIBERTY MUTUAL
To not get mad at the Wolverine for using yet another Geico joke in his write-ups.
BAD NEWS BEARS
To realize that the only Bad News Bear worth modeling your life after was Kelly.