Can’t Tell Me Everything

Originally Posted
2010-05-17

Hold That Thought…Seriously

Apparently, people forgot how to read paragraphs in this country. There’s no other explanation for the most silly invention in the history of technology. It’s name rhymes with a crass name for a toilet bowl and it’s an apt comparison due to the nature of endless drivel that’s being placed on the Internet. An army of minutiae has been created as a never-ending obstacle course for all of us to decipher meaningless filler.

What’s the point? I’ve gone on Facebook lately and I’ve just felt that it really doesn’t matter what most clowns put up for a status every day, especially when it’s numerous times in a day. Koz and I were chatting about this a few months back at Cantab, poppin ’em back for my cousin’s 30th birthday. We just got to talking and the whole Facebook thing came up somehow. His quote was fantastic as it really resonated with me. He told me very loosely that “he has a million Facebook statuses floating in my head, but you rarely see me put up any of them…I’m not one of those people.”

The lightbulb finally went off for me this weekend. It took me three months to get a decent grasp of this idea enough to put it into words. Then again, that required some thought, some contemplation, some actual restraint. It’s incredibly odd to me that people literally let their mental diarrhea run amok for all to see. No holding back. It floors me that people are so trusting to people that they barely know. We basically have become a socially promiscuous society that will let it ride for all to see. Some people can pull this off successfully, but not everyone. For those of you that can’t, I have a dedication of sorts for this group of people. You probably know someone like this or close enough to the stereotype. Alas, here’s some advice for “those people:”

This is for the girl who posts five statuses a day on how she didn’t get her coffee with two sugars. This is for the woman you work with that complains incessantly about her freakin’ mortgage (for a house she probably shouldn’t have bought in the first place) and the bastards that are making her pay every month. And yes, this is definitely for that one male friend you have that just whines constantly about how tough his life is (even though he’s the one who signed up for his out-of-state job. If you don’t like it then, quit your damn job. Especially if you have the freedom to do something else. This topic slightly winds me up.) But still, we all know somebody like that. It’s maddening. Especially when you actually like the people that do these crazy things.

My first inclination was to tell all these people to go sit on a hot candle before posting another status update for the hour. But then…I got a little inspiration from one of my favorite Beatles and to take a slightly classier path on this topic. So before I part this blog entry, many thanks to Koz and to Sir Paul, before I tell five-posts-a-day Facebook guy one important thing:

Hey dude, refrain.

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