CORPORATE 5 ON 5 LEAGUE AWARDS – FALL 2010

Wow, it’s time for the end of the season awards already? I couldn’t believe the first seven texts I got from Tibbs telling me to get my awards up (even though I am on vacation!). But I saw a cloud for the first time in 5 days this morning, so I am feeling inspired. Well, it’s been a great season that had a lot of great moments, some good competition, and hopefully we all had fun and got our money’s worth. Thanks to the guys and girls of the league for a great season and not being too hard on me and BFab (even though BFab definitely deserved it at times). And our friend who sits next to me that provided great commentary all season – I should probably ask him is name at some point. On to the awards, which hopefully generate more than 4 responses on the boards – choose or lose people! And remember, attendance counts (see Jocelyn Velnoy of Banner 18 not getting a single award!)

MVP – Elijah Heckstall, The Team You Could Smell Like
Hex joins Cher, Madonna, Tiger and Michael as someone who can be identified with just one name. Hex did everything for his team – score, rebound, assist, defend. And he did it with the style, grace, and a smidge of arrogance we have all come to know and love. Ok, maybe more than a smidge. Congrats to Hex on a great season.
Runner-up: Bryan Muse, 6 Man Wolfpack. Could have almost gone co-MVPs here, but I don’t care for “co” anything. I like making decisions, for better or worse (speaking as someone who has never been married).

Offensive Player of the Year – Bryan Muse, 6 Man Wolfpack
Not only was Muse the league’s leading scorer, he was also second in assists. Great arguments could be made for his MVP candidacy, but he was definitely the offensive player of the year. Maybe the most talented player in the league (I can see Hex’s eyes roll right now).
Runner-up: Jay Acunzo, Team You Could Smell Like. Best pure shooter in the league, period.

Defensive Player of the Year – Nick Carino, Banner 18
The kid is a flat out animal on defense. He is athletic, intense, determined, intimidating – all the things you need to play great defense. I am pretty sure most of the league is afraid of him. I am definitely not though – if only I still played!
Runner-up: John McEnally, Genzyme. Most thunderous and memorable blocks of anyone. Always a good criteria for the DPOY.

Rookie of the Year – Malvin, Banner 18
Can we get a last name for the record books? Or is he going for the “one name” persona too. Irregahdless, Malvin was a great presence on the stacked Banner 18 squad on both ends of the floor. Hard to determine just who was the vocal leader of that team because they are all chatter boxes, but I’d guess him.
Runner-up: Sachin “the Dream” Shah, 6 Man Wolfpack. Low post moves couldn’t be stopped.

GM of the Year – Brent Kohler, BBN
Brent somehow managed to keep his team of 75 people happy all season long with a subbing rotation that was as complicated as Soduku. His mid-season team picture exemplified the camaraderie he managed to attain amongst all the players. And he is a pretty good player as well, despite playing limited minutes.
Runner-up: Ari Shaanan, Blue Men Can’t Jump. Always interested in improvement, which his team did throughout the season. Serrano – you don’t get consideration b/c you only “coached” a few games!

Best New Nickname – Sachin “the Dream” Shah, 6 Man Wolfpack
I don’t give out as many nicknames as I used to, but this one was perfect. I am not sure he even knows I gave it to him.

Best Game of the Season
The Team You Could Smell Like vs. 6 Man Wolfpack in Week 7. The #1 and #2 teams in the league as well as the #1 and #2 players in the league (Hex vs Muse) battled it out in an epic game. It lived up to all the hype as created and determined by me (always nice to be the pitcher and umpire).

Best Performance, Team
Banner 18 scoring 101 points in a statement game in Week 4. Unreal performance on both end of the floor by Banner 18. And didn’t hurt their player rater either.

Best Performance, Individual
Jay Acunzo, Team You Could Smell Like drops a season high 37 points in Week 8. I wasn’t there, but I did get a few texts about it. Will he show for the playoffs though?

All-First Team
Hex, Team You Could Smell Like
Bryan Muse, 6 Man Wolfpack
Garrett Tingle, Genzyme
Malvin, Banner 18
Nick Carino, Banner 18

All-Second Team
Ferrante Sinclair, Genzyme
Greg VanHoughten, Team You Could Smell Like
Sachin “the Dream” Shah, 6 Man Wolfpack
Eric Chan, Banner 18
Jay Acunzo, Team You Could Smell Like

All-Third Team
Ryan Caloras, BBN
Broadway Joe Andrade, Grand Nationals
Aaron Kauffman, Missing Jersey Shore For This
Ben Prescott, Blue Men Can’t Jump
Charles Baakel, Blue Men Can’t Jump

All-Defensive Team
Nick Carino, Banner 18
Andrew DeStadler, Team You Could Smell Like
Derek Dally, 6 Man Wolfpack
John MceNally, Genzyme
Charles Baakel, Blue Men Can’t Jump

All-Wolverine Team
These are my personal favorite players for whatever reason. And Derek Dally isn’t on the list because he is already in my Hall of Fame and isn’t eligible.
Erika Mullen/Laura Shay, Missing Jersey Shore For This – Each went to the floor at least twice in every game.
Edwin Gomez, BBN – Never afraid to attempt making the highlight real passes.
Justina Clark, Blue Men Cant Jump – Purely an aesthetic decision.
David Hartjes, Grand Nationals – Usually makes his team’s first bucket, but happy to do the intangibles the rest of the way.
Amber Wantman, The Team You Could Smell Like – A woman amongst boys.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW

As I vacation in a Dick Cheney-like undisclosed location, I decided to make sure I finished a playoff preview (and get Tibbs to stop texting me!). Each team has a Floridian city associated with their style of play and general playoff outlook. See you all on Monday!

#1 Banner 18 – Jacksonville.
The most populous city in Florida, and therefore has to be considered the favorite. It is a tough, blue collar town that loves their Jaguars (and cougars) and coach Del Rio. I had them as my odds-on favorite early in the season, and I don’t see any team being able to stop all of their weapons. Except maybe themselves.

#2 Team You Could Smell Like – Miami.
Trendy, stylish, image conscious, a bit conceited – but Miami is a great place to visit nonetheless. While it is a city that everyone wants to vacation, does anyone other than LeBron really want to live there? Hex is the MVP and Jay is the best Robin ever, but attendance will be a question mark for this team so it’d be hard to put any money on them to win it all. If that kind of thing was legal.

#3 Wolfpack of Six – Tallahassee.
It is the state’s capital and gets a lot of attention, but maybe a bit boring at times? Muse is a stud, we know that, and so is Sachin. But I think they will need a third player to really step it up in the playoffs to win it all. Ben? Sokol? Satyan? Callng you out, fellas!

#4 Genzyme – The Everglades.
The Everglades are known for its dangerous marsh filled with lurking alligators, crocodiles, and snakes. It is also a federally protected park that forbids the killing of any of these animals. And Genzyme is just as dangerous of a team with Tingle and Ferrante leading the way, but, much like the above mentioned crocodile, I have also seen them lay an egg. So again, touch to put any big money on them to win it all.

#5 Grand Nationals – Ft. Lauderdale.
Ft. Lauderdale must have been (ok, was) great in the 80s and 90s, but its probably seen better days at this point. I know, I know, CHart is young enough to be my son, but the rest of them could be my less-handsome siblings. Nonetheless, this team may have that one last push in them to make a serious run at the title.

#6 Missing Jersey Shore For This – Naples.
Naples is a city of all flash and cash. Just like the Jersey Shore (did you know The Situation made millions this year?). Triple AA, Double AA and Single Acan keep them in the game, but that’s still not have enough A’s to make a run.

#7 Blue Men Can’t Jump – St. Petersburg.
Don’t know much about this city? Right, it is really an enigma, just like this team. They have a ton of people on the roster, but a different set of players show up every week. But they have improved greatly over the season and are always a fun group. Maybe they can make a few off-season signing signings.

#8 BBN – Orlando.
Orlando is the place you go to if you and your family just want to have some good, clean fun. And if that doesn’t describe BBN perfectly, then I don’t know what does.

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