Flash Guy Ramblings

Originally Posted
2011-02-16

Hello All, My name is Rory and I’ve been asked by Tibbs to try and squeeze my size 13 feet into JZuk’s tiny shoes as the new rookie blogger on the CAC hoops website.  See you later Kosher Revival…we barely knew ya.  It only makes sense to introduce myself and let you all know just a little bit about me.  Again, my name is Rory.  I’ve had many nicknames, but none at the CAC.  Since R-Duy doesn’t really have a ring to it, I can’t go the same way as B-Fab, J-Zuk, D-Mac, O-Cal or any of the other hundred people at the CAC that go by “first intial – first three letters of last name”.  I’m open to suggestion but reserve the right to veto.  I’m from Southern New Hampshire, went to high school withthis guy (no, not Lopez), and went on to attend Fairfield University.  After graduation, I spent two years broadcasting Minor League Baseball games for the Connecticut Defenders (now the Richmond Flying Squirrels) and now have a handful of part time sportscasting gigs while working full time at a real estate law firm, taking people’s homes and dying inside a little bit each day.

One of my role models is Randy Moss.  I strive to be like him in all walks of life one half-ass endeavor at a time.  Since none of you really know me too well, I’ll take a page out of my idle’s book.  During his brief 2nd stint with the VIkings he came up with an interesting concept after losing to the Patriots:

I’m not answering any more questions for the rest of this year. If it’s an interview, I’m going to conduct it, so I’ll answer my own questions, ask myself the questions and then give y’all the answers.”

That is too good an idea not to use.  Enjoy…

Q:  Rory, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today.  By the way, what song are you listening to right now?

A:  Right now, I’m actually listening to Diggin’ On You by TLC from the CrazySexyCool album.  For the record, Andre Rison totally deserved it.  I hate him as much as I love Randy Moss

Q:  Who is your biggest inspiration on staff at the CAC?

A:  God, that’s a boring question.  Nobody has inspired me…not in a good way anyway.  BFab inspired me never to drive without a license.  JZuk inspired me not to go to dental school (which was never my intent in the first place).  Tibbs inspired me to surround myself with good players who can carry my ass up and down the court.  All in all, it’s a pretty uninspiring group.  Next question…and it better be better than that one.

Q:  I’ve been told you hate Pearl Jam.  Is this true?

A:  Good question, plus a chance to set the record straight.  It’s not entirely true.  I used to hate Pearl Jam, but over the years I have grown to appreciate them more.  I realize that I’m on an island with this sentiment, but I do think they are one of the most overrated groups of this generation.  I do like some of their music.  Alive is good.  Dissident is great…but I still believe that Eddie Vedder sounds like a 65 year old man with esophageal cancer.  My dislike is more a product of the rabid Pearl Jam fans that have tried to shove their music down my throat.

Q:  So you work at a law firm.  That sounds miserable.  Tell me more about those part time jobs.

A:  Well, I flash people for a living.  Keep it in your pants, BFab.  I do sportsflashes on WEEI 850-AM part time and I do play-by-play for the Bentley University hockey team.  One time a caller on the Whiner Line told me to go back to Shaws and finish bagging his groceries.  That wasn’t very nice.

Q:  When did you start playing at the CAC and what are your favorite things about the leagues

A:  My first season playing was Spring of 2010 in the coed league.  I played two seasons in coed, and in this, my third season I added a couple of mens leagues.  It’s nice to play all week long.  The best thing about the leagues is the people you meet and the relationships you build.  You play the games, find the nearest bar and make new friends.  I’ve made a lot of them in under a year playing here.

Q:  Sure the social aspect is a big part of the CAC.  That’s why they do league night out!  Have you been to any of those?  What was your experience like?

A:  Well, I went to a League Night Out last May.  Excitement and anticipation of a grand celebration turned into dismay and some serious sorrow drowning when I got to Tommy Doyles and watched the Bruins blow a 3-0 lead in game 7 against the Flyers after watching them blow a 3-0 series lead that week.  Shortly after the Flyers scored to make it 4-3 I got a phone call from my buddy Ryan saying that we had been stripped of our dart championship because our teammate Mark “assaulted” a member of the other team before the final game.  That was the last straw.  The details of the evening got pretty foggy after that, but I did make out with a girl who I found out later needed a fake ID to get into the bar.  Beyond that, I’m not sure what the hell happened.  That ranks pretty high of the list of most painful sports defeats in my life as a sports fan.

Q:  Are you an alcoholic?

A:  Next question

Q:  You play in a dart league?

A:  Next Question

Q:  Are you still listening to TLC?

A:  No, “Right Here” by SWV…Human Nature Remix

Q:  Rank the following in the order you want them to happen:  Celtics win banner 18, Bruins win this year’s Stanley Cup, the Fairfield Stags win the MAAC tournament and get an automatic bid to the NCAA tourney, Red Sox win the World Series, Patriots win Superbowl XLVI, You get tickets to see Boyz II Men in concert, Weapons of Mass Seduction beat Shirt Before The Shirt in the Coed East Finals on a buzzer beater by you over Tibbs.

A:  Bruins winning the cup would have to be my top choice.  I love hockey and I’ve been waiting for that for a while.  Second would be my alma mater, Fairfield winning the MAAC and going to the NCAA tournament.  That’s my favorite sporting event.  I live for college hoops and they’ve got a real shot this year.  They’ve already clinched at least an NIT bid.  This is where it gets tough…are the Boyz II Men seats any good?

Q:  Front Row

A:  I still gotta go with me drilling the championship winning buzzer beater over Tibbs.  Patriots have to be 4.  Boyz 2 Men is a very strong 5…I mean really, I’d commit a felony for those tickets…just shows you how bad I want the top 4.  Red Sox winning the World Series would be 6, and I’d like to see the Celtics raise another banner…I’d just like to see the other six things happen a little more.

Q:  What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?

A:  Tough to single out one, but the candidates are Steve Wonder, my second Springsteen show (Gillette Stadium – 2003) or one of my first two times seeing John Legend.

Q:  What pisses you off?

A:  People who drive slow in the left lane on the highway, people who use the phrase “I could care less”.  It’s COULDN’T CARE LESS!  “Don’t Stop Believin” – it’s not a bad song, I just can’t stand when people born after 1980 play it and bug out like they used to love the song when it was originally popular.  It’s become trendy to like that song, which bugs me…”Lights” by Journey is much better anyway.  Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Snooki, Skip Bayliss, Brett Favre, my full time job, the phrase “lol”, TMZ, Perez Hilton and anybody else who makes a living on celebrity gossip, people who look for walks in slow pitch softball, Tommy Heinsohn, Jimmy Buffett, the Montreal Canadiens and lastly, it pisses me off that after such classics as Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America and Trading Places that Eddie Murphy has gone nearly 25 years without making a single halfway decent movie when we all know he is more than capable of doing so…such a waste of talent.

I think that’s about enough for today.  I’m not answering any more of my own questions, but thanks for reading and I hope you all were somewhat entertained.  Lots of material to come on March Madness, the Monday AND Wednesday coed leagues, some of the characters involved and some random things that I just happen to stumble across in that mess of a brain between my ears.

Signing off…Peace, Love and Straight Cash Homie.

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