Half the Pickle

Thou Shalt SHARE


Seriously, have I said this yet?!?!

Online sign-ups are now open as the Spring ’10 season approaches!  Please use this link for more information and email CACBasketball@gmail.com if you have any questions and to sign up yourself or your squad!

Oh right, I have, multiple times, we’re less than two month’s away, sign-up!!

So let’s get to the point, shall we.  Let’s say I was hanging out with CAC female player X (Obviously Gripp, but this is someone else, we’ll call her LJ for anonymity’s sake) and she had recently visited the Balcony. Luckily for her, I really, really appreciate the quality time her boy toy and I can put in together.  Yes, even if it’s a Duke vs UNC game where my team is getting doubled up. I feel like I’m handling it pretty well, but apparently other observers don’t feel the same way.

Well on this night, ‘SpillJ” puts together a little shindig at our sponsor (TOMMY DOYLE’S people!!) and of course I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to do a Car Bomb or two with the Danny Granger of CAC.

Let me set the table for you.

We’re a little hungry; it’s been a few hours since anyone has eaten, so the Youngest Arthritis Case in History orders a giant appetizer. His better half asks me,

“Do you want to split a burger?”

As CAC’s resident fat@$$ and the man who will eat pretty much anything, I immediately say,


Again, I always put myself on blast. Now I love burgers, especially at Tommy Ds.  Sure we weren’t getting 2 for 1 like on Tuesday’s, but I’d survive. Oh yea, and those $12 pitchers turn into $15 on the weekends!! Lesson learned!

But let’s get back to the delicious possibilities of the Burger. It meant I got half the spoils on the plate, or so I thought.

Dun Dun DUN!!!

As Gripp makes sure to rub ‘that spot’ in my neck, I down my ‘half’ of the prize.  Good news is there are fries AND a salad, so everyone wins, or so I think.

All of a sudden, I look up, and that delicious Dill Pickle that I always save for last is suddenly just a memory in the twinkle of Lidge-It’s eye.  As any rational human being would do, I immediately lose my sh!t.  Who offers up half a burger then turn’s coat and eats the ENTIRE PICKLE!?!?

Now fellas, back me up on this one (by going to the Message Boards and VOTING) but if someone offers you half their burger you expect half their Pickle.


Seriously, If I offered you half of my pitcher and kept all but one beer of that for myself, you’d hate me.  And I’d hate you right back for drinking my beer!!