Hit Em High and Hit Em Low With The Monstars

Originally Posted
2011-04-01

A Roundtable Discussion With The Co-ed West Division’s Most Hate

RD:  The Co-ed West inaugural regular season has come to a close and four teams are vying for the Division Title and a chance to take down the Titans of the East.  Of those four teams, none have provided the swagger, entertainment or brought out the venom of the rest of the league like the appropriately named Monstars.  Aside from being the team you all love to hate they’ve managed to win a few games, and they have as good a chance as any to make it to the unification game.

I’m fortunate to have TJ White (TJW), Zach “Captain America” Donnelly-Krall (ZDK), Alleigh Marré (AM), and Micah Witri (MW) with me to talk about, trash talk, baby powder, toungue tying cherry stems in knots and summer romance with Jimmer Fredette (yup, they go together), drinking games and how this motley bunch came to be…I’m sure along the way we’ll uncover some other fun tid-bits…

We’ll start pretty basic.  I know some of you work together at Kings.  How did the team come to be?  Who’s idea was it to put a team together and how did you settle on the “Monstars”?

TJW:  Back when we were a bit younger, Alleigh was a budding young star small forward at the theatre and communications school Emerson College. I was a bartender at a restaurant on Newbury Street where Alleigh was hostessing. I assume the boosters in division three women’s basketball programs don’t pay very well so she needed a part time job. Long story short, we played a lot of pick-up in Allston. Fast forward a few years. I start working at Kings. I meet Zach D-K (Captain America). More pick-up is played against middle school children in West Roxbury. They were mean and smoked more than Kevin, Micah and Tasia combined.  A year later Walsh and Kevin start at Kings.  We start talking about basketball leagues. Ivy says she likes doing stuff so she’s in. Two thirds of the people who say they want to play drop out. Kevin invites Micah. Jamie and Kendra are picked up during free agency.

MW:  Quick add on to this story, i was invited while at a bar too. I ran into Kevin at Conner’s by Northeastern after not seeing him for a while and he clued me in to the league.

TJW:  On a side note, while we were assembling the team, Kevin and I were really excited. We would talk about basketball every day at work. I would tell Walsh and our AGM Bizz, who later dropped out, how pumped we were and they would say they thought Kevin was “soft”. I disagreed. I was right.

RD:  I think we can all appreciate Space Jam, but in the end, your namesake lost the big game and their super powers…were there any second thoughts about playing the Villains who ultimately lose to Michael Jordan and a bunch of farm animals?

ZDK:  Once another Kings employee suggested the name to me and I brought it to the group, it was pretty much instantly decided.  Though right now maybe we would be better suited as the Flint Tropics.  4th Place!   4th Place!  4th Place!

TJW:  As far as second thoughts go based on our moniker, I think we were all pretty drunk and we probably too far into a hole of regret for the intravenous drug use and unprotected sex at out pre league celebratory orgy to tell any foreboding involving Michael Jordan and some farm animals even though the latter was present that night.

RD:  Actual farm animals or Swecker in a sheep costume?

AM:  I don’t think anyone could accurately recall or piece together enough of that evening to identify said farm animals….

RD:  Maybe we could ask Charlie Sheen.  I heard he was there too… So in addition to being the cause and solution to all of life’s problems, alcohol is what brough the Monstars together.  I’m afraid to ask this, but what’s the celebration going to be like if the Monstars win the West?

MW:  Can I say baller?   I think we have a parade through downtown lined up, at least that is what Mayor Menino told us when we spoke last night.

RD:  You guys have had an up and down season on the court.  You get the Bulletproof Tigers in the semi finals.  Thoughts?  Predictions?  Does Captain America have any disparaging remarks for Slim Jim, Todd or anybody else?

AM:  You ask this almost as though you expect us to give anything other than a winning prediction.  At the bar on Monday, Zack and I learned that Todd is sensitive about being old. Oops, I mean…refined, dignified, etc. So I’d expect some commentary relating to Todd’s geriatric status.

MW:  The Tigers are well rounded and solid. I expect a lot of composure and few mistakes, so we need to do the same, which we can.  Also let Ben Sloan know I am gunning to slap a shot of his to the 6th row, preferably a layup but I will take a jump shot. He and I grew up together and played under the same high school coach.

TJW:  Defense. Expect to see a different Monstars team on the less glamourous side of the floor. We have proven we can score points. Now that the stakes are “win or go home”, expect us to step it up a bit. You’re going to see more blocks, blood, fouls and fast breaks caused by turnovers.  I’m predicting a battle come Monday. Nobody wants to go home and the Tigers are probably the best all around team in the league. We match up better with them than any other team does. I don’t think they are expecting not to play in the championship. Neither are we.

RD:  Whoa, best all around team in the league?  What’s all this “coach-talk”?  I bet I can count on Captain America for something a little less PC

If you guys could have one of the rappers from the Monstar Anthem join your team, who would it be?  Busta?  LL?  Method Man?  B-Real?  As a second part of the question…and the answer may not be the same…who has the best verse?

MW:  LL is a sexy man, but i would have to take Method Man solely for his swagger. If we were going for hype man Busta is my top choice, but not the “Pass the Courvoisier Busta”, the “Extinction Level Event” Busta who used to hang with Rah-Digga.

RD:  People want the wild shit, gimme some more

ZDK:  I would want Method Man on our roster namely because we bring fans and I would want the RZA, the GZA, and the Ghostface Killah to come watch.

AM:  Considering I have 100% faith in the skill and talent that the Monstar’s currently posses, I would add LL to the roster for reasons already covered by Micah. Hell yes to additional eye candy.

RD:  I’m glad you said additional.  D-Mac and I would have been a little hurt if you didn’t acknowledge the eye candy you and the rest of the Co-ed West ladies enjoy on a weekly basis.  Be sure to thank Tibbs for assigning us to that league.  Speaking of eye candy for Alleigh, I understand you have a little bit of history with a certain All-American/All-Mormon point guard from a school in Utah?

AM:  HAHA – Oh boy. Let’s take a walk down memory lane, to summer 2003 and an overnight basketball camp in the Adirondacks…queue the montage music.  Long story short – Jimmer Fredette, myself, and one other guy got pulled from our age group and moved up with the big kids, so we immediately latched on to one another as the big kids were mean and intimidating.  At about this time, I had learned that I could tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.

RD:  Giggity

AM:  At 15 I SWEAR I did not understand the connotation this skill had, and after proudly showing it off on ice cream sundae night, I suddenly had some friends in the mean and intimidating big kids crew. It wasn’t until explaining to my Dad on the phone later that night how cool everyone thought it was that I was clued in as to WHY they thought it was so cool. Whoooooops.  I later shared this story with Jimmer who seconded my Dad’s wisdom…apparently I was the only one not clued in, and a flirtation was born. I think we held hands once. And our high schools were in the same athletic conference so we’d see each other play. But at 15 with no license and 45 minutes between school districts, that flirtation fizzled quickly and alas, I never needed that skill.  So yeah, love and basketball and all that jazz.

RD:  Wow…I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of random CAC blog reading guys at the next Monstars game…a Mormon and a 15 year old girl who could tie a cherry stem in a not with her tongue…you two would have been quite the pair.  Two things is for sure; your kids would have had great jump shots, but we’d have a better chance at getting the Wicket Smaht Ewoks to the bar for post game beers than your man.  Switching gears, largely thanks to Captain America you guys are easily the most hated team in the league.  Is that the way you all like it?  If it wasn’t Captain America ruffling the collective feathers of the league, who could possibly fill that void?  I can’t see Micah playing the loud mouth villain

ZDK:  I know who I am, I know I’m gonna run my mouth while playing sports.  I’ve been doing it since high school in any sport I played.  Hell, I even talked shit in my college bowling league.  But a little bit of it is exaggerated, I’d never done the baby powder toss before this league, as shown by my terrible first week performance, but I’m glad I did because now I’m actually doing it for the feel.  Having non-sweaty hands is a definite plus.  I’m a loudmouth because so many people get pissed off by it and don’t play their game.  They try and beat me and not the team.  Back in High School in particular I would shoot 5-7 FT a game (and at over a 70% clip) because people would foul the shit out of me.  It worked better when we had refs who made it up and down the court faster than Boozer and would actually call fouls.  Ask TJ though, when he first told me there was an all Jack-Hole team, or Zach-hole team when I’m done with it,  I was like, yeah, I’ll be on that.  I know how sarcastic I am and how little of a filter I have when I’m not around kids.  Honestly, who is letting me be a role model?

AM:  Before meeting Captain America, I totally had TJ pegged for the feather ruffling role. However, TJ’s approach is a bit softer. He has a way of winning you over after insulting you to your face.  I don’t know if we’d have this reputation without Zach, and I’m glad we have it.

RD:  Since it’s fair to say that beer brought you guys together, who is best on the team at drinking games?  Any game, beer pong or beirut if you want to be snobby about it, flip cup, beer di, polish horseshoes…any others?

AM:  I haven’t played any drinking games with these guys, but I’m going to go with Captain America by sheer will. I don’t think he’d let anyone beat him.  Unless we’re talking flip cup.  That’s not really an individual sport, but I’m pretty nasty.

MW:  I am all about testing the teams in drinking games. You can learn a lot about who someone is on the court, but the drinking game is where the salt of an individual is really on show. I like my drinking games but favor the power games over the skill ones. I like a game that drives people away after a couple rounds because of over filling the belly. Games like landmines, full cup flip cup, red card rinse etc. Of course beer pong is a classic, and thanks Rory for calling out those beirut folks.  I am so sick of that.

RD:  ::whiny voice::  “But it’s a different gaaaame!  You play beer pong with paddles!!”  Reddick and me still have a cornhole showdown planned with Walsh and Swecker.  I’m looking forward to it.  What is your favorite part about playing in a CAC league?

AM:  The write-ups, trash talk, message boards, and commentary make it easier to swallow that the glory days of college or high school are over because it still feels like a competitive league. And anyone who says that the love of the game trumps the feeling of a W or seeing a solid stats column isn’t a real athlete.

RD:  Alleigh, you might want to use a different cliché than “easier to swallow” after telling CAC-nation about your cherry stem skills.  If the Monstars were forced to acquire a player from another Coed West team, which player in the league most embodies the Monstar spirit of kicking ass, taking names, and ripping shots of Jameson?

TJW:  I would go for some Sweet Lu for the pre-game low post practice or Dave Grubb because he seems like a nice guy.

ZDK:  TJ stop trying to add a mistress to our roster.  Practicing low post moves, how low are you talking man?

RD:  I’d say we’ve rambled on long enough, but I’d like to finish with a little name and word association.  Whatever you think when I throw out a word or a name, quick answer give me whatever comes to mind.

TOMMY “RoY” KAHANA

ZDK:  You need a social life

AM:  Attention starved

TJW:   How is this name oozing its way into every crevasse of my life in the CAC?

D-MAC

TJW:  Great mid-range shooter and all-star of the SML. Oh wait, you mean as a ref? No comment

AM:  You’re asking this pre-playoffs?

BOOZER

AM:  Standoff with Captain America

TJW:  Great outside (jump?) shot.

POP-A-SHOT

ZDK:  I prefer Pop-n-lock

TJW:  Rigged…I swear it only counts half my baskets

AM:  Jameson, just for you Rory

Well, aren’t you sweet?  MIKE REDDICK

ZDK:  Still waiting for that punch

AM:  probably the only person who will talk as much shit as our team does collectively

TJW:  Nice modern gentleman. I’m sad I won’t get to play him again this season

SLIM JIM

TJW:  Macho Man Randy Savage

ZDK:  You think I got in your head last time we played?  You ain’t seen nothing yet.

CAC CO-ED EAST

AM:  Weak

TJW:  Never heard of it

SHIRT BEFORE THE SHIRT

AM:   Cabs a’ heeeaaa

KEMBA WALKER

ZDK:  If I were in TJ’s shoes it was a son I was having, his name would be Kemba Emeka Rip Donnelly-Krall.

 

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