Move Over John Stockton

Move Over John Stockton, Here Comes Rip Hamilton


For the most part of my life I have been a Rip Hamilton fan.  I dig people who wear cool masks (Batman, Wrestlers, Joan Rivers).  However, this is the first time that I have noticed that Rip is the DIRTIEST player in the league.  I plead my case:


Game 1 he tosses a haymaker at KGís face.  Hey Stu Jackson wake the F up and get off your ass.  Amare Stoudomire gets suspended one game last season for putting a shoelace on the court but Hamilton can go UFC and not even get suspended?  Since the NBA has castrated everyone and the players cannot police themselves, he should have been suspended for Game 2.  John Stockton on the other hand should have been suspended just on principle:  NO one wanted to see your balls John.  Seriously, while everyone was wearing normal sized shorts, he clung onto those grape smugglers.  Where was the league dress code when we needed it?


Game 2 rolls around and Rip slingshots himself at the expense of Sam Cassell.  Not only does he grab Sam I Am (Nickname actually should be ìSam I Am Shooting the Ball Every Time I Touch Itî) to launch himself into the paint, but he gets a call from the officials.  Should I hate the player or hate the game?  I guess I could give Rip credit for that that one because he went after Samís shooting hand.  If he yanked Samís arm out of his socket Rip would have been doing us a favor. BUT…


In the first quarter of Game 3 he holds on to KGís arm, flops when KG tries to get him off his forearm AND gets KG in early foul trouble.   That I cannot condone.  Gutless.  Right there I wished it was the 80ís and we werenít in the NBA era or NO BALLS ASSOCIATION because I wanted to see KG stomp him after the flop.  Deep down I know Rip is wearing that mask because he knows one of these days someone is going to take exception to his selling out to EuroBall.


Last but not least, last night in Game 4 ñ He steamrolls through Ray Allen, using that facemask like Lex Lugar when he use to forearm people with his steel plated forearm.  How dare you take a shot at Jesus Shuttlesworth!  Granted I didnít know Ray Allen was playing in this series until I saw him get dropped by that 150lb degenerate.


Iím sorry but it has gotten to the point where I want to sneak into the Detroit locker room and fart right into that mask before Rip puts it on because that is what I think of his cowardly antics.  IT STINKS.  Where is the media when you need it?  How come every sports radio/TV program is talking about Willie Randolph and Big Brown (heís a frickin horse who gives a crap!)?  Someone needs to make a Rip lowlight reel and get it some TV play.  David Stern is no Josh Smith.  Plus, I donít know how, but I blame Rip Hamilton for high gas prices, the AIDS epidemic and the Wolverineís summer hiatus.