Official Thoughts

Ahhh – to kick off the Fall 2010 season with a mindless blog…Official Musings.  Well – for those not in the know – I started here as a writer/stat keeper.  Then promoted myself to being Tibbs’ personal nemesis when the Wolverine up and quit his job as No. 1 Needle and then was promoted (i.e. pushed out of Tibbs’ hair) to the envious job as referee.


So – I follow in the illustrious footsteps of Filosa and O’Cal and only stand close enough to DMac to be in his shadow, but this marks a full year (after this upcoming season) as an official for the CAC and I figured I should put what I learned over the past year on paper.  Well – on a non-maintained blog just to keep my place in the pecking order.


So here is a running bullet list of thoughts, things, and people from the past year as an official and just a resident CAC-aholic.


  • Chris Harvey would need to be linked to the 9/11 conspiracy at this point to garner any ill will.
  • A very good juicy steak tastes better when employed.
  • Being a referee – one would figure I would be softer or easier on the current crop of officials.  That is clearly not the case.  It is only because I’m older and just plain bad at hoops after a pretty nice run.
  • Being an official – I would be easier on Tibbs.  Nope.  Just as nice to win Banner #8 as it was Banner #1.  1-for-9 sounds better coming from him.  Banner #5 though (14-0) holds a special place.
  • Oddly – A1 Draft League became less-engaging as an official.  I was asked to cover too much on Monday nights and felt disconnected.  Did a dis-service to Magic, Mals-B, Kaplan, and J-Rod.  Special shout-out toMcGlynn as I – as a captain – failed you miserably.  Too late to the party.  For that – I apologize.
  • No apologizes necessary to Rory, anyone who names themselves after a Duke player, Nibs, Nate, Matty A-Team, and-or Celli.  You dogs played like little school girls in the co-ed finals after I talked you up as the undefeated monster you WERE.  Maybe this season.  Maybe in softball…nope, that’s out too.  More L-Money and Stockton this season should do the trick ass clowns.
  • Harold Smith will be missed.  “I’m taking my talents to South Beach” actually makes me laugh now.  Everyone – including me – needs a competitor to stoke the fire.  Harry was my needle.  Won’t be the same. Marino needs to step up her game and potty mouth.
  • It is my new mantra never to speak these ill-fated words again: “Keep the tab OPEN”.  I am currently still paying for a $2200-dollar night at Harvard Square Tommy Doyle’s AND a $280-dollar tab from the Warren Tavern on a very, very, very ill-fated Thursday night after winning the A2 championship.  MikeD will pay this season.  Plain and simple.  Win or lose – the Bank of Genzyme closes on September 2.
  • Someone who SHOULD have “kept the tab open” was LeBron James.  Now you know where I stand on that if you care.
  • Sure Harry Smith will be missed – but what about Shane O’D?  The Lex Lugar of the CAC has hung up the shoes except for a few lunch runs – or so he says.  OD – I tend to follow your footsteps a little too often, my friend.
  • Some others?  Macho?  Damien Martin?  P-Ray?  Kid Khalid?  Tom Layman and all of XJVJam Ball? Jamil – another great foil of mine – gone down the tubes.
  • Where are the new foils?  Since co-ed plays “off-campus” – the rivalry I build up with Game…Blouses only goes so far.  Bring it on people.  I like a good villain.
  • Next season – I’m no longer an official for the co-ed league.  What I will do is split the write-ups and decimate Little Lord Joshua Fauntleroy.
  • Zukerman has even built up some pent-up energy against the Evil Empire.  Zuk – let me apologize for being successful without having to bother people to be active on the blabber boards.  Big Baby Deep and I have quietly built an Empire like no other and your little inside-moves with Tibbs to deny Genzyme spots in Co-Ed Land DOES NOT go unnoticed.  Consider this a shot across the bow.  I’m bringing it this year on the Kennedy side of the co-ed league.  Hopefully you can keep up. Doubtful – but hopefully.
  • Check out the Co-Ed Awards.  Genzyme won the league.  See how many Awards they got?  Talk about drinking the Tibbs Kool-Aid.
  • I play more minutes in A2 then B2.  Tells me something about the personnel I roll out for Genzyme on a seasonal basis.  That’s about to change.
  • Apparently – I’m a fn joke to the Wheels of Steel. Just kidding Tristan and Monroe.  Keep stacking your team but The Greek isn’t going to help get you more calls – that’s for sure!
  • While the men of the CAC have failed to live up to the bill of their predecessors – the women – Marino, Doherty, Magic, Angelillo, Stockton, L-$, Gwen B, AB – as in Andrea Burgess – not Adam Biehler…all have done their part to carry the torch..
  • Zebra Pants – best nickname/dig of the season.  Beat out “Boozer”. Terrible yet awesome.  Even better?  I penned them both.  Nothing to do with Kosher Karolina.
  • Here is a Chinese proverb at its best.  Describes my situation to a “T”: Never invite others into your house unless your own house is in order.  Others may steal your stuff.
  • Tibbs is good at this…I must be drunk – I just complimented Tibbs.
  • I guess the Dizzy Llammas have leagues all over the place.  If the CAC was smart – they would let them run the leagues.
  • More John Bagley’s Body.  Dearborn, Roach, Fabians, Glover, not McAdie, etc.  They play rough and tumble – but when I grab dudes by the jersey – they know they crossed the line.  UNLIKE lunch run.  Lunch run = “I’m going back to work”.  It does not = “I’ll meet you in the parking lot”.  Or = “All you are doing is making this worse”.  Or = “Test the official till he throws the entire team out of the gym and then gets challenged for touching players”.
  • Rec Ball = Grow up.
  • My worst moment?  I blew up the water cooler closest to the gym equipment three years ago with a kick and a swipe with the garbage can.  Inanimate object.  I can be a total ass clown on the floor but never is it threatening, demeaning, throat-slashing, or disrespectful to a human.  I surely do not tell an official or anyone to go f*** themselves unless it’s Gerrity calling a timeout for no apparent reason, Zuk missing buckets for any team cause he is sleeping, or if Ken Cleary’s team leads by (fill in the blank) with 5 minutes to play.  (**this is obviously a joke people – note to selves – lighten up…)
  • Terry Henderson is – by far – the easiest person to light up with a technical.  Bar none.  99.9% merited – yet 110% hilarious.
  • I’ve been removed as a co-ed ref.  BUT – I’ve learned there are some “gentlemen” in this world that get their rocks off swatting chicks to the bleachers.  McEnelly and Reddick need not to chime in.  With that said – if I still had the whistle – and maybe I will have some influence at the Kennedy – that’s bush league.  We are all trying to have fun in co-ed and all trying to drink and have fun post-game.  Swatting chicks = angry highway stripes.
  • Serenity Now needs an infusion of one shooter.  The CAC needs Serenity Now more then Serenity Now needs the CAC so if Adam Kneeland needs a recruiter – I can be that guy.
  • That goes for quite a few teams from the early part of this decade (Big Nice, XJV, Steamboats, Heavy Hitters, Millrats,  Legends, High Noon, Cold Blooded, Cleary Club, Average Joes, NWO).  Well.  Screw the NWO.  MikeD owes me a season of beers this fall.
  • Next person that paints me partial to Genzyme will be the next victim of the infamous “T-Party” I have started as an official.  While I love to hang banners – I have zero allegiances to Genzyme when I have the highway stripes on.  In fact – I might be more partial to the other teams knowing people know I have worked at Genzyme for 6 ½ years now.


SO – I could go on and on.  And I may with a Part II.  But that’s it.  Figured I would give the people something to read going into the new season.  Also, I sit home pondering my future.  The title of “Director of Genzyme Basketball” does not exist within the walls of Genzyme Center – and so I’ve been told.  Hopefully I will see you all – Empire or not – very, very shortly….