Perched With The Pidgeons

Originally Posted
2009-07-23

If you read the B2 Write-ups regularly, the rumors are true – Killer Ken Abrahamsen and his right-hand man and brother in arms – Chris Von Seggern – will be hanging up the sneakers for the final time after the Spring 2009 season.  If you thought I openly rooted for Ken and his merry men before ñ I might bring Pidgeon Pom-Poms to the playoffs that start this Monday with two games at the Morse and two games at the CAC’s Wall Ball Arena.

 

What better way for the fellas to sign off then speak their honest minds on everything and anything CAC, pop culture, why Tibbs is so pasty, etc.  While I am new to the blog game here at the CAC it is my pleasure and honor to bring to you two of the original bricks from the CAC, The Mountain Man and CVS.  This might not be as funny as TiCal or witty as Wolverine ñ but I couldnít think of a better virgin couple voyage then the two wings that have stirred the Pidgeons since the Carter administration.  Without further ado ñ he is a town-hall meeting with two originals of CAC-Town:

 

First off – what’s with the name?  You don’t know how many gdamn times I wrote Pat’s Pidgeons vs. Pats Pidgeon vs. Pats’ Pidgeon’s vs. – Pat Pigeons – well, you get the point.  It’s annoying and at least take the mystery out of that please!!

 

CVS ~ Pat Pidgeon was the punter at Penn State when I was in college, and he is PSU’s second all-time leading punter. Here are his career statistics:

Season

Player

Punts

Yards

Avg.

Blk

1997

Pat Pidgeon

55

2341

42.6

0

1998

Pat Pidgeon

59

2512

42.6

1

1999

Pat Pidgeon

55

2276

41.4

0

I adopted the team name for Fantasy Football in 1997 after he absolutely destroyed a fraternity brother of mine in a fight during college.  He is also the inspiration behind my choice of number (#41).  In my opinion, there is no better way to remember an obscure college football punter that to name your C.A.C. B2W basketball team after him.  Perhaps if we had a more intimidating name we would make it out of the first round of the playoffs…

 

BFab ~ Good point Chris – I always made it my business the past three seasons to mock your abysmal playoff record.  But on to the real business. There is a nasty rumor abound that Dan Valles is the reason you fellas decided to call it quits?  It would not surprise me in the least!

 

Killer Ken ~ You know, CVS and I picked up Valles out of desperation.  We almost called it quits before this season because we were short a couple of players.  After finishing off a case of Miller High Life, obviously out of our minds, we made the decision to contact Dan.  I had no idea what the meaning of Black Hole was until I stepped on the court playing with him.  Dan pummeled us last season draining 4 threes and netting 21 points in a victory against us.  Who wouldnít want that kind of fire power playing for you and we he went to free agency, we decided to pick him up.  I guess there was a reason he had been left for dead by every other team in B2 West.  We simply didnít know.  Seriously though, Danís a great guy who plays hard every night and while he seems to have checked his ìAî game at the entrance to the Morse Schoolgym, it has been a pleasure joining forces this season.

 

BFab ~ I love it!  Not only did you toss The Walrus under the bus – you are blaming him!  Like singing “Blame Canada” fromSouth Park.  “Blame Valles” should be the Pidgeons new entrance song.  Oh, that’s right – we might be one game away from hanging up the sneakers, sniff sniff.  The B2 West guard is about to change and I wonder who is going to step up and take the torch for the proud Pidgeons franchise.  Speaking of change – what has changed the most since you first laced them up in 1977?

 

Killer Ken ~ The hardest thing for me to get used is the long shorts.  Back in the days of the ABA, the shorts we perfect.  Not so long that you trip over the damn things while running down court.  Now, some of these young kids wear shorts so long they look like high water pants!  I used to make fun of those poor kids in high school, but now I am the butt of all the short jokes!  The other big change is the pace of the game.  I have always played the power post game, but I canít even make to the post these days before my teammates have finished the fast break and are running back on defense.

BFab ~ HA! You brought up the “shorts” joke before I was even able to get to it!! You can thank Jackie “Big Country” Kelly from CAC N Ballers for your 32nd nickname at the CAC – Ken “Larry Bird Shorts” Abrahamsen!  He told me privately you were one of the toughest guys he played in the paint and while you seemed to get the benefit of the calls ~ and here is the main quote paraphrased “Trying to post up a grown man in Larry Bird shorts really isn’t my idea of fun”.  Hilarious.  This is getting pretty good for both of us being blog virgins.  Ok – so you sure, the shorts are certainly different – but instead of what’s changed the most – what will you miss most other then the free-love era of the 60ís and 70s that the CAC offered you?

 

Killer Ken ~ There was simply no better time than the 60ís.  Until the CAC starts actively recognizing 4:20, on a daily basis, then there is not possible to improve upon the 60ís!  I wish I could say the CAC brought in crowds of young ladies to watch the talent in the B2 league, but the only one who ever brought in crowds of women was Broadway Joe!  Now there was a guy with an entourage.  For those of you who never had the pleasure of playing with or against Broadway Joe, that guy brought game, and crowds of people especially, for a playoff match up.  I think he once had 25 peeps show up, including one lady for each arm.  I think Valles should try taking a page from Broadway Joeís bag of tricks, both on and off the court.  If he could hit a couple more threes and learn how to pass, the ladies might take notice.

 

BFab ~ WOW – a Broadway Joe reference!  Somehow – Not Your Average Joe has been banned to the C League the past two seasons. We need more Broadway Joe.  Maybe not the riff raff he brought to the Morse a few times two seasons ago.  Bring back the women Joe!! I think Andrade got married.  That ruins even the best of the best – even a playa like Joe.  I know all too much about this topic.  But actually – the CAC does bring a fine array of breezies to the gym – but guys like us are banned to the Morse so Tibbs can hold onto his precious A1 leagues and he refuses to move from the CAC perch to let us all see LJ, EJ, JBerr, my favorite retiree CMAC and Anna Bell dominate Wall Ball.  The CAC Ladies head out for League Night Out ~ so count me in on August 7.  CAC Ladies.  I like the sound of that.  MOVING ON….

 

Give me your best memory inside or outside the CAC that was player or staff related.  Any shenanigans in the Pidgeons nursing home post-game?

 

Killer Ken ~ Having been in this league for so many seasons, I must have played more than 200 games, trying to pick out one memory is tough.  I guess one that kind of sticks out was my first or second game in the wall ball arena.  I donít know too many rules of the game, but I was pretty sure I knew the basics.  In a span of 60 seconds the following happened:

  1. The ball bounces lightly off the wall, but it is clear the Wolverine canít see it because it is under the hoop (and he never moves more than 3 feet in either direction from the center line) and my guy collects himself and lays it in.  What is up with these walls?  Are they in play or are they out of bounds?
  2. My guy steps on the out of bounds line while lining up for a 3 pointer in the corner, he is clearly out of bounds, but again no call and the guy hits an uncontested three.  I am no besides myself bitching at the Wolverine.
  3. Finally, the other team commits a back court violation.  I turned to the ref positive of the proper call, but, again, no whistle. I am ready to explode!  Next thing I know my guy is streaking to the hole for an easy two.
  4. At halftime, the wall ball arena rules are explained to me.  When CVS joined the squad, I gave him the run down before the game started!

BFab ~ Ken?!  I would have let CVS bake in the Wolverine’s misery for at least a half.  Everyone used to go through his silly little smirks when all along he was just waiting to get another game of squash in before the gym closed.  First the Wolverine retires – then the Pidgeons.  What’s next?  Turin becomes funny?  Tibbs gets a real job?  Josh cracks a smile?  Valles actually shoots better then 30% in a season?  Wait – the Wolverine didn’t retire?  I thought that’s why is picture is blurred out and my blog is on top of his?  My bad.  I guess he hangs out in downtown Cambridge looking for action…

 

How did you originally here about the CAC?  Or too the wily veterans the CRFC (see Wolverine – they even took the “racquet” out of the club name to further embarrass you):

 

Killer Ken ~ Another old timer by the name of Matt Sweet was playing on a cellar dweller team called Fred Roberts.  They signed me because I knew who Fred Roberts was!  If that doesnít indicate how old I am, I donít know what will.  They brought me having no idea what they would get.  I dropped 30 in each of my first 4 games and I knew this was the league for me.  Many thanks go out to Matt Sweet and the team manager Andrew Darien for taking a chance on me.

 

BFab ~ Fred Roberts.  I don’t remember you on that team.  I guess that is how bad it was.  BADUMP.  Bad joke.  I said I’d give you a shot at a pop culture question.  Lots of deaths in the world of entertainment and sports recently so of these recent four ñ which death most affects your life the most?  Which one is ìgood riddanceî, etc etc

  1. Michael Jackson
  2. Arturo Gatti
  3. Farrah Fawcett (just for you Ken)
  4. Ed McMahon

Killer Ken ~ At my age, hearing about the death of anyone is a little scary. My time could come at any point in time, which is even more reason for me to hang them up now before I kick the bucket. I am fine with the King of Pop going down because the only King I am interested in these days is King James! I never was much of a boxing fan, so no affect there. If someone’s not biting off an ear and punching below the belt, then I don’t really take notice. However, when the most beautiful of all the angels passed it was truly sad. She only spent one season with Charley, but boy would I have liked to have been Bozley for that year. My guess is no one but you understands anything I just wrote. I guess the death that affected me the most was Mr. Ed McMahon. How I am supposed to win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes if he is no longer around. God knows my CAC contract didn’t pay well, even after 20 plus years in the league.

BFab ~ Ken Ken Ken – remember the NWO?  The Mullets?  Those jokers are in their mid-50s.  Maybe they actually forgot about Charlie’s Angels.  We are old but these fellows were watching Gunsmoke with their nephews when we were learning the ABCs.  They actually still play in the B2 East.  Stop by for a champagne reception sometime in the off-season as we retired these guys in Winter 2008.  Pound for pound best fight series ever?  Gatti-Ward.  Three fights – a trilogy and they are making a movie about it.  Highly recommend a Netflix membership when you settle into the rocking chair.

But – yes, the Farrah poster still brings back some solid memories even though the closest I got to a bearded clam on the bedroom wall in Queens, NY was Keith Hernandez…

SO with so many deaths in such a short time – we all need to update our death pools.  I’m rolling with Valles since he single handedly destroyed such a proud franchise.  AND he’s no-showing the first round of the playoffs.  What a shame minus the “e”.

Killer Ken ~ Death pool, good question. I would say Dick Clark, but let’s face it, he’s already dead and just doesn’t realize it! Based on our game against Drago, I would put a couple dollars on our favorite ref, Big Mike. I thought Chris Coffey might have choked him since he seemed to have choked on his whistle that night.

BFab ~ HA!  Mad Mike Harris asks me multiple rapid fire questions about blackberries and technology weekly.  Not sure if he even knows what the internet is all about.  I was at this game in question and it proves what a tough hombre you truly are to bait a fellow as big as the Coffey Pot to curse Harris for the “rough play” TouchÈ my friend – touchÈ’.  Dick Clark!  Awesome.  I think you win with that one – but I refer to any friend who never ages as being related to Dick Clark so hopefully not cause there goes one of my five jokes in life when re-acquainting with people.

Have you had any brushes with celebrities, sports stars, etc?  Iíve crossed paths with Edgar Renteria, Mike Redmond (Twins), Gary Sheffield (jerk), Drew Bledsoe (the man ñ took him down in foosball), and Traitor Damon.  Damon came to watch an old-man softball league I played in with a 12 pack of Bud.  He hung out and took some post-game swings for the kiddies in attendance.  Gained a lot of respect for him that day and then he signed with the Yanks.  Jesus had to ruin my cool story, right ?

Killer Ken ~ I once met Pedro Martinez in the Montreal airport. He was standing in the check in line with his wife and kids. There was NO ONE else in line. I couldn’t resist saying hello. It was the year after he went to the Mets and he was rehabbing his shoulder. I asked him when he expected to return to the rotation and he simply replied he was on track. I also got his autograph. As it turned out we were on the same flight to Boston. He was the last to board the flight, but no first class. He sat in the back with the rest of the cattle. I have to say I was a little disappointed with his wife. I think Valles could have done no worse!

BFab ~ Pedro’s shining moment was tossing Zimmer like a rag-doll.  Valles is better then Pedro?  My heart just stopped!  Best player you’ve faced and at what level?

Killer Ken ~ The two guys that come to mind are Micah Sherman and John “Big Country” Kelly. No one could stop the Sherman Tank. He was the Kevin McHale of the CAC. I couldn’t even slow him down, let alone stop him. The only one who slowed him down were his teammates not getting him the ball more. And Big Country, he was impressive. I did outscore him head to head in the Morse School, but that is only because he got winded in the second half. In the Wall Ball Arena he can score at will without getting tired and he completely dismantled me and the Pidgeons.

Highest level of play is easy, never played organized ball. Ok, not completely true, but one year of riding the pine on a crappy JV team doesn’t mean much. Everything I learned was on my own or from CVS. I am at my best when playing against grammar school all stars. I have to bring my A game because the kids are the best (for their age group) but I am generally two feet taller than everyone, so only half my low post shots got blocked!

BFab ~ Ahhh Big Country again – rumors are he went the way of his buddy Ant Herbert and will no longer walk the halls of the CAC.  That is a shame.  Death to the CAC N Ballers.  Another franchise that’s been a pillar for quite sometime.  The walls are caving in!!  Any more Dan Valles humor we can squeeze out of this one since he claims to have a torn hammy?  So you know he will be the first to read this.  And to know you get all your knowledge from the dog days of the CAC is refreshing and disturbing all in one sentence.

Killer Ken ~ While traveling for work a number of years ago I bought single ticket to watch Kevin Garnet battle Tim Duncan at the Target Center in Minneapolis. The game was terrific, but what stuck out the most was the number of blonde haired, blue eyed bomb shells in the stands! The Scandinavians settled their years ago and the long term results are simply spectacular. Even for Dan Valles it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

BFab ~ If Tibbs was in a canoe with no oars ñ would you save him?  I mean did the guy ever give you fellas one break in the 27 years of playing?  He is my arch nemesis.  In fact after five years it seems I’ve developed quite a few over at First Street.  Maybe the tide is finally starting to turn…beer anyone?

Killer Ken ~ I have no issues with Tibbs. For the life of me I can’t figure out why he would ever go canoeing without any oars. That’s like going drinking in Boston without any money It really isn’t up to me to give anyone an oar or anything else for the matter. Furthermore, he’s a pretty weak arch nemesis! You could step it up with a verbal show down with Shirley Temple!

BFab ~ Ken – final question:

Which is worse if you were never to return to the CAC?

    1. Not showing up for the Winter All-Star game (in which I posted an 11-point win over Tibbsí hand-picked team)
    2. Not getting your name emblazoned on a CAC flag (I know you have a West title or two but no Unification wins which essentially makes you the Charles Barkley of the CAC).
    3. Not playing for Genzyme ñ seems everyone else has.

Killer Ken ~ The Unification win would have been nice ~ no less we lost to Genzyme!  Damn you BFab. We had our shot in the early days of my career, but barring some miracles this post season, it appears my teammates and I will go out with our heads held high, but no rings or banners. No matter what happens in the playoffs, I can honestly say the CAC has been good to me and CVS. I would guess that CVS and I are the all time CAC leaders in total wins by a brother duo, total assists between brothers, most career points scored by two brothers, and probably every other combined brother record at the CAC. To all the fans, all the competitors, the entire CAC staff including Josh Smith, the Wolverine, Tibbs, TiCal, Big Mike and you, BFab, thank you for letting me call the CAC home for the last 27 seasons.

 

BFab ~ Personally, I know the Mulholland twins (Scott and Brad ~ B2 East/North) are after your records for wins, points, rebounds, assists, and steals as a brother duo – but they will have a very difficult time in even matching the integrity, heart, and good-ole fashion ass kickin’ each CVS and Ken brought to the table each and every night in the B2 West on Monday Night Madness.  This league, this gym, and all of CAC whores everywhere are worse off without the Pidgeons flying high.  I predict you are back in Fall 2010, Ken.  The CAC is like a virus – once you get a little taste you just can’t get rid of the stench.

Hope everyone enjoyed the Perch With the Pidgeons.  See you on the message boards.

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