Saturday Morning Live

Weekend pick-up has gotten much press lately due to its recent rise in numbers. At some point nobody is going to come anymore because itís too crowded. I even began to rethink my entire weekend schedule that has been in place for the past 9 years to determine if it would be more fruitful to play Sunday mornings instead of Saturday mornings. While I remain undecided, I began to think about all the things Iíd miss about Saturday morning pick-up:

 

ß         Captains carefully examining the first 8 to determine who appears a little hungover from the night before

ß         Rip yelling at JRod for either calling too many fouls or not calling enough fouls, depending on whether or not JRod is on his team.

ß         Speaking of which, me trying to convince JRod that developing a baseline fade-away just may add a few years to his life. Who cares if you only make it about 25% of the time, your arms go home unbruised and healthy.

ß         Macho either carrying his team to 8 straight wins or pretty much disappearing under his oversized towel for the entire morning.

ß         As certain players that shall remain nameless stroll in around 12:15, you can see everyone who is waiting scramble to figure out whether to hit or miss their next free throw. Itís quite palpable.

ß         KevyKev yelling ìDave Mac (pause for effect) 1,000 degreesî or ìGP, are you wit me?î at least 1,000 times throughout the morning. I still have absolutely no idea what either of these phrases means.

ß         Cheese going into his diatribe about how the Celtics can still improve under Doc Rivers with a consistent 7 man rotation. Always the optimist

ß         Tibbs entering the gym to make his 127th straight appearance at CRFC, yet showing no signs of being upset by this in the least. Princess E, on the other hand…

ß         In a recent development, multiple Target bags strewn across the sidelines filled with random workout gear and an unusually large amount of bath products.

ß         Ramon playing the Bill Belichik ìdisrespectî card on random people sitting on the sidelines as motivation to hit game winning shots. ìI see you Sticks!î I guess I have just made myself next on that list.

ß         At least one random reference to the man only known as ìiPod.î

ß         Richio getting hurt at least twice during every game he plays.

ß         Turin getting completely steamed over the most random things, like his teammate passing the ball to the wrong Ripley. He didnít yell at his teammate, he yelled at Ripley for looking too much like his own brother.

 

And a few more things we are currently working on:

ß         Mandatory breathalyzer tests for anyone who looks or smells a little hung-over from the night before. And if a player is holding a cup of large coffee, then they are automatically assumed to still be drunk.

ß         Mandatory membership check upon the start of every game, performed by BRip. Something tells me that 10 day passes will not be an acceptable form of membership.

ß         Automatic 2 game penalty for anyone attempting to sandbag teams, including missing free throws on purpose or telling new guys who have no idea how it works that they are/are not next on the list.

ß         Institution of a scoreboard operator, including full pick-up stats and write-ups. I nominate Tibbs.

ß         Automatic team point deduction for anyone who calls out the score incorrectly in their favor and on purpose.

ß         Mandatory t-shirt change every two games for both Big Ben and Richio. I also have a few extra youth large Nike dry-fits if they want them.

See you on Saturday