DJ Jazzy Jeff Hall
This season’s 2nd installment on the Wolverine Trap is DJ Jazzy Jeff Hall – the point guard for defending B champion and preseason #6 seed Cobra Kai. Jazz has improved greatly over his seasons at CRFC from just a jump shooter to a guy who can do it all – score, rebound, pass and defend. His leadership was also evident in last season’s championship game by designing the perfect inbounds to play for the last second win. Let’s dig deeper into the life and times of DJ Jazzy Jeff Hall.
Wolverine: Thanks for being on this week’s Trap, Jazz.
Jazz: Thank you. It is an honor. It is not everyday you get to sit down a man who gives out nicknames as his second job. Nice bathrobe, did I wake you up?
Wolverine: When you turn 32, they give a bathrobe and slippers as initiation. The funny thing is, even though I have always made fun of them, they are both very comfortable. Anyway, as always, I will ask the easy questions first. Tell us a little about yourself, like where you are from, where you played your basketball prior to CRFC, how you got a cute girl to marry you, etc.?
Jazz: Born and raised in Phoenix, where it is sunny all the time and people don�t slash your tires for taking �their� parking spots during the winter. Went to college in Denver where I excelled in intramural competitive ice fishing. She loves short bald men.
Wolverine: There has plenty of chatter recently on the Boards about the talent of the B league versus the talent of the A League. Care to weigh in on the matter?
Jazz: There are extremely talented players in both leagues, but I don’t think that there is really a question that the number of very good players in the A2 league is much higher.
Wolverine: How did you and your team feel about my preseason #6 seeding of Cobra Kai despite being the defending champs?
Jazz: I would like to say that we like being the underdogs or something like that, but really we just think you are an a$$. Not really.
Wolverine: Can your team win without Primetime?
Jazz: How did I know you were going to talk about Primetime?
Wolverine: Is there any other reason to interview you?
Jazz: These pictures you have all over your Wolverine den are a bit much. He’s awfully tan in some of them. Were you on vacation in that one?
Wolverine: Yes, but not together.
Jazz: Anyway, we obviously lost an integral part of our team, but we are very happy with our replacement Jeff Doane. We also have Scotty and Rev really picking up the scoring. While we lost last week to the high school kids who absolutely ran us out of the gym, we have been winning without Primetime and will continue to. Also, Jose wrote up that last second play, not me. Credit where due.
Wolverine: Sondra Huckstable would be so proud. Your team has more nicknames than Apollo Creed. The Perfect Storm, The Reverend, Primetime, Jazz. What do you attribute the tremendous cast of characters on your team to?
Jazz: Myself, I’m quite magnetic. Please control your cat.
Wolverine: She must smell your cat. How did Primetime’s bold posts and predictions on the boards affect your team during the playoffs?
Jazz: Mr. Freddie Mitchell, as we like to call him, is always good for a little motivation for the other team. We had to then back him up on the court – which we did.
Wolverine: That question was from one of our fans. But can you tell I am not quite over Primetime�s departure?
Jazz: There�s nothing wrong with a little man crush every once in a while. Rev has man-love for the Rock.
Wolverine: Really? I would have figured the Undertaker for him. Ok, aliens have decided they want to see how earthlings play basketball. They invade the Cobra Kai dojo and take your entire team hostage into their spaceship. But before they head back home, the aliens hover over CRFC and drop you into the basketball court via a 50 foot bungee cord. You see that the aliens have tied up Dave, Brian, Josh and me in the netting in front of the mirrors. The aliens then hand you a special pair of scissors that can only make one cut and they demand that you set one of us free to referee all of your games in space. The others are condemned to referee basketball at CRFC forever. Who do you choose to take with you and why?
Jazz: I thought you had less time at your new job, not more. I would take Dave.
Wolverine: What does the future hold for Jazz?
Jazz: I start active duty in the Air Force JAG in January. I�m also getting married to the aforementioned �cute girl� in August.
Wolverine: Wow, congratulations on the JAG gig. I guess the military�s background checks aren�t as thorough as I would have thought. How would you describe the evolution of the Cobra Kai squad � going from a pretty good, middle of the road team to the league champs in just one season?
Jazz: The first season Rev, Primetime and myself would bomb 3s the whole game.
Wolverine: How many bags of ice did it take to ice down your arms after those games?
Jazz: Are you saying I shoot a lot? Clearly, that was not working. Calling our first season pretty good is generous. We were like the Suns, but slow and unable to compete. Then I made Primetime play in the post and the rest was history.
Wolverine: True. Not that it�s a bad thing, but doesn�t it seem like it�s Rocky month almost every month on some channel?
Jazz: It is always Rocky month at my house. I have the DVDs in constant rotation. Speaking of Rocky, my arms look like they were chiseled out of stone. Sorry, just caught a glimpse in the ceiling mirror. Are you sure we can�t do this interview somewhere else?
Wolverine: Hey, I never asked you to take your shirt off. So, I recently saw manager Tony LaRussa in the Prudential Barnes and Noble and had the sudden urge to ask him why the &%$# he pitched to Gibson in Game 1 of the �88 Series. What athlete would you most like to see in town and what question would you most want to ask him/her?
Jazz: I don�t know what question I would ask, but I would pay a large sum of money to go out for a night on the town with Ricky Davis and his fabulous sideburns/goatee/beard thing.
Wolverine: If we did an episode of CRFC Cribs at your pad (which we will soon begin doing), what would we be surprised to find?
Jazz: Well, let me tell you what you wouldn�t find. You wouldn�t find a cat. Only man-pets are allowed.
Wolverine: To compensate for the lack of testosterone in the house.
Jazz: And you wouldn�t find any fuzzy coats for my dog. You wouldn�t find any pictures of Primetime. Anyway, you would find my entire collection of John Hughes DVDs, including Sixteen Candles. I also love Beaches, and Bette Midler CDs. Shut up. I�m sensitive.
Wolverine: Alright, alright, quit crying you big baby. Ok, you can pick anyone that has ever played in any B league #1. Who do you pick and why?
Jazz: Mazzone. He�s all around the best player in B.
Wolverine: From the �duh,� category, Eva Longoria was just voted the sexiest woman alive. Given the fact that my pursuit of her will undoubtedly end up in success, who is your number 2?
Jazz: Is there any question? Elisabeth Shue. �Ali, with an i.�
Wolverine: Oh, man, she�s very close to the top of my list as well. Fell in love with her about a million times that summer and then again in Palmetto. Ok, thanks for being on the Wolverine Trap.
Jazz: Thank you. Can you please turn the lights back on so I can find the door