TiCal’s Corner: Kenny Cleary

All Rise!!!  It brings me great pleasure to welcome royalty into the Corner.  Thatís right, the President of my Matignon High School Graduating Class of 2001 takes a seat for an interview.  Today, I get a fellow Warrior and GM of the Cleary Club franchise (as well as GM of the B1 West squad ìBone Sayz: Cummupinsî) to discuss how all our hopes and dreams came true despite our entire faculty believing no one from our class would ever be successful and move out of their parentís house.  Oh, how wrong those….um, yeah, never mind.

Kenny, it is a pleasure to have you step into the Corner…

Watch out there TiíCal, you know what happened to the last person that stepped in the corner with me? He was 50 and ended up face down on the ice with his jersey over his head, hands flailing.  What is TiCal anyway?  Didnít Method man say that years ago in one of his songs?

 

I believe ìTicalî meant ìSubpar loverî in Latin, but since no one from Latin American that I know seems to know the translation we can just assume it was the creation of Method Manís ebonics and move right along.

 

1.  Although I am an avid Cleary aficionado, please give the CAC following some background info on yourself…

I am the oldest of 4, one more and we would have had a complete team.  HENCE the team name Cleary Club,  Not because I am an egomaniac, that Tibbs alluded too in his last write up, but because I like to think that every member of my team is like a brother. 

You must pardon the Pasty One.  Tis part of the job description of the Player President: Must stir pot to enhance board activity.  If the message boards get a certain amount of posts the Commish gives him a 20% discount on sun block.

Well, I can see his motives then because he probably goes through a drum of SPF 151 a week to keep his dapper albino exterior.  Plus- The Cleary Club originated in the old Cambridge CityLeague.  My old man ran the team and they won 4 back to back titles.

I never played organized basketball, rec league what ever, until I came to the CAC.

Got my current job through a CAC connection-

My first passion is Hockey. Current team ìLabatt Blue Ballsî Reigning CHAMPS! www.labattblueballs.com

That team name is offensive.  Grow up.  Children shield your eyes.

2.  You are a Hockey transplant to the Basketball community, what is the one Major difference between ìhockey playersî and ìbasketball playersî?

First off, If I am playing hockey and someone messes up, You tell them straight to there face, then ridicule them mercilessly after the game and then into the next game until they make up for it. In Basketball, its more about feelings, and finding your shot and feeling out the ref blah blah blah,  Oh AND everyone thinks they are a scorer.  Everyone thinks they can ball.  If I ask you if you play basketball and you say yes, that could mean anything!  You know how to dribble, well anyone can dribble, I mean really bounce a ball. Can you shoot? Anyone can throw a ball. Come on!! But can you at least play?  Yea I can play- I can hit the back board, once and throw a ball in your general area.

I obviously am yearning for more people to tell me I suck.

Second Kobe and his finger? Garnett and the Flu? Its called toughnessÖ Personally, if I had to make one rule it would be full contact in the paint.  Just shoulders though, nice clean contact fun.  If you want to step in front of the freight train in the lane then be my guest.

I am still pushing for the Wall Ball Tournament where everyone plays with roller blades and hockey equipment.   Think about it? INSANITY!

3.  Which 2001 Matignon Graduate has seen the most success, post graduation:  Kenny Cleary, Sean O’Callaghan or ìA Shot at Love with Tellia Teqiullaî star Michelle Hart (http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/tila_tequila/cast_member/cast_member.jhtml?personalityId=9882)

Michelle Hart- HANDS DOWN.  I mean it takes some serious gonads to pull off that stuff. And you didnít mention that she was a female hockey stud?  Bet if she played b-ball she would have been on the View or something. That Tequila show is obviously more legit.

4.  Do you have a problem with every rapper using T-Painís Voice Synchronizer?  We hate on baseball players when they use steroids to do their job and when singers/rappers are suppose to sing/rap and cheat, they get a free pass.  Why is there a double standard?

I think the last Rap song I listened to was Bone Thugs and Phil Collins.  Does that even count?  T-Pain?  What is that?  Some thing that happens after you drink some harsh Tea and your voice changes?

Dam I should have drank harsh Tea in HS instead of waiting for puberty.  Does this Tea put fuzz on the peach?

Haha, ok Iím not a doctor so I will plead the 5th there.  And personally think there should be an all steroids league.  It would be like NBA JAM when you put the code in and you play with all big head dudes.  

5.  Who are the Four Best Players at CAC right now and why (wall ball only)?

#1. John from Lunch.  I donít even know his last name. But he hucks the ball with a high release.  Runs around, and is in better shape than 90% of the people in the gym, sets picks plays D you name it.  And I donít want to speak to age but this guy is about 60+? LEGEND

#2 John Mazzone- Floor general. Can get Freddy B to shut his mouth. Big dude- drops threeís, assists, defense.

#3 That Toasti dude.  Just hucks and drains regardless, anywhere anytime.  Its crazy- for me itís the equivalent of having a hockey sniper in the offensive zone nail top dog, where does mama hide the cookie jar? TOP SHELF- from anywhere, regardless if Zed Chara is all over you or if Shawn Thorton has finger tips on his gloves following you around. 

#4 My man- GeoffÖ. Probably the best shot blocker in the gym.  Not a pure basketball player- had a stint with pro soccer- but a pure athlete who will throw a ball through the wall regardless of who you are.  Defense is key and he holds down the fort.

6.  Do you still hold a grudge against the Wolverine from when he called you pretty much called you fat in a Preview?

To clarify it was, Beef Cakes, or something.  And no- I cherish my stalking demeanor and the ability to face up anyone and get a low center of gravity despite my 5í10íí slow white guy tag.  

7.  Who is the better Boston team this winter, the Bís or Cís?

Bís-  You want to see a team play watch these guys.  I am a die hard Cís fan and boast that I went to 20 home games when they had, Gerald Green, Big Al, Pierce, Orien Green, the Candy Man, Wally, Delonte, GULP, I just threw up a lil in my mouth.

No love for AC Earl and Erik Montross?  Ala Abdulnabby!!!???

STIFFS!!!  BUT- you canít deny that Boston is at heart a Hockey Town! I just hope it comes back for good.

You canít beat a sport that lets two gentlemen square each other up and settle their differences like men.

But the better teamÖ I am thinking Bís as a TEAM, but you canít beat the star power of

the Cís.  Plus I still think Doc is goon.  You know that Tom Thibedo (sp?) is pulling the game plan strings. 

8.  Better dream date, Porn Star or Rich Star (Not a guy named Richard Star, but just a celebrity with money)?

Well, I guess we know what keeps you up at night. Richard Star?  I would like to go on a date with Oprah.  Maybe she can give me a car or something. And you know she still has a food dark side. I bet she would role out like some legit steaks and a smorgasbord of food from around the world.

(http://www.tv.com/video/175/101/15677/)

Haha, you aint the only one who is trying to bury their coal bone in her mine in hopes that a tadpole diamond emerges.  She probably has Brinks protecting her baby hatch so you better assemble an Ocean 11ís like squad if you plan on slipping one of your DNA pucks past her goalie.

9.  Favorite aspect of CAC?

The thing that I like the most is the witty and constant banter that surrounds the hilarious brand of wall ball basketball and the gang of characters that fill the chat boards and makes basketball a culture and not just a game.

What would you like to change or see more of at CAC?

No mix gym leagues.  Especially morse vs the wall box.  Seriously this is like playing pond hockey and then playing on an Olympic rink.  Just doesnít work.  Hell I donít really even know how to play this game, and you throw me a curve ball like that? Also, why not give the score keeper a ref jersey and provide help on calls where the one ref canít see? Kind of like an instant replay review.

Plus! Anytime two players or players and refs have a problem with each other.  I say we roll out a small boxing ring. Provide gloves and let them go.  Both players then have to sit out til the last 5 minutes of the game, but the winner’s team gets the call. In the ref’s case, if he won, he would get to roast that player verbally in front of everyone with out response.

10.  At first, it was the ìHigh-5î, then it was the ìChest Bumpî and now, we have the ìJump and Bumpî (when two player celebrate by jumping and bumpin each otherís hip).  The ìJump and Bumpî is getting played out so I need a new celebration when I want to celebrate every minor positive play I make in a game.  You are a man of unparalleled creativity with a history of success in sports so I pose to you Kenneth Cleary, what should be the new celebration that storms the land?

In hockey the options are endlessÖ You have sticks and gloves so you can do any kind of endless option.  I could go all day but my favorite is when you snipe, top dog, what kinda booze makes the panties fall? TOP SHELF!  You take off one glove throw it in the air. Take your stick aim and shoot that duck right out of the sky.  Pick up your glove and show it to the crowd, thatís right you just snipped and put your team up.

But in B-Ball-  I am thinkingÖ Two people line each other up, run straight at each other full speed- then stop short.  And do the kid N play dance from that Lebron insurance commercial.

Or the fake gut punch could work well tooÖ

Kenny, great material.  It was pleasure having you in the Corner and thank you for not bringing up the fact that I was captain of the WORST basketball team to ever grace our alma matters HS.

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