Tical’s Corner – Kip West

Todayís guest is like the Robert Horry of CAC.  My man just wins championships, yet never receives the press he deserves.  I have had the pleasure of winning a brick with Kip on our beloved ìLove Explosionî crew, but Kip and his crew (the Predator – Dan Herman, & Foley) made their bones by buying me 800 car bombs back one LNO some time ago at Tonic (pictures are on the ìNewsî tab).  Kip, bring that championship experience and come on down!

 

1.  Kip, please give us some background info on yourself…

First Bro, let me say that in addition to the Love Explosion title, which was my first and quite possibly my favorite (Does Mama Tical remember her first? Likely not. By the way, is it purely coincidence that there is a blond hair, blue eyed, freakishly pale little kid your mom is chasing after up stairs?), I have also won an A2 title and back-to-back 5v5 B titles. As for the bio, I grew up inMilwaukee Wisconsin. Yezzir the land of Milk and Cheese. Now I know most of you Least Coasters forever hate on the Midwest but let me school you all on some actual factuals. We have plenty of ìreal citiesî west of NYC and east of Sin City. I went to public schools my whole life. I have never milked a cow, bailed hay, shucked corn or slopped pigs. I was the only Caucasian kid on my basketball team in HS and 1 of only 6 on my football team. So stop guzzling on the hater-aide suckahs. Now that that long over due tirade is over shall we move on?

Only if you put your arm down.  I am not arm wrestling you, you win, the MidWest rocks.

True dat. As I said I played football (quarterback), hoops (guard if you can believe it) and baseball (pitcher and 3rd base) in HS. Unfortunately when I graduated, no D1 school wanted to show any love for a slow, skinny 5î10í 145 lb kid by giving up a scholarship to play hoops or football so I cut my losses and went on to the University of Wisconsin (GO BADGERS! YOO-RAH-RAHWISCONSIN!) to try and edumacate myself. I spent 4 years there immersed in drunken debauchery and chasing around co-eds and surprisingly got out with a degree. I then went on to get my PhD in Biochemistry (Yezzir. Hard to believe, no?) at Syracuse (When the Cuse is in da House Oh mah God, oh mah God) and then after a brief stint in the nationís capital (no matter what people tell you public service is way overrated and in no way fulfilling), ended up here in the lovely commonwealth of MA, where I have been now for about 6 years, working in the Pharmaceuticals Industry (and tell your mom no, I can not get her any crystal on the cheap. Sheíll have to take her drunk-ass back to the methadone clinic).

My mom can get in line behind me.  I want some of the industrial strength Enzyte.  The type of stuff you canít get over the counter and can only find on the black market in the Dominican.

Weíll see what we can do for you wee man. Anywho, I started going to the CAC (the artist formerly known as the CRFC) in 2004. And that is sorted tale of how I came to start winning championships at the CAC. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. 

 

2.      Do you feel snubbed by the CAC community for not receiving the media coverage you deserve as a perennial winner or do you enjoy flying under the radar?

On the real, I could care less. I live my recreational sports life after the motto of the late, great Green Bay Packers coach Vincent Thomas Lombardi, ìWinning isnít everything, itís the only thingî and ìThere is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game and this is first placeî. Need I say more?

I would have loved to see Lombardi and Belichik in a reality show against each other.  Lombardi would trip over Billís ìcameras.î Bill would take a dump in his fedora and blame it on a bear.  It would be must watch.

 

3.  Michael Phelps or A-Rod, who wants to crawl in hole right now and hide more

Mos def A-Roid. Now come on, is there anyone who is a bigger fake and DB in professional sports than that joker? To first be all indignant about getting caught (who gives a tiny rats as to whether or not it was confidential testing) using PEDs and try and defame Selena Roberts for doing her job and then do an interview with Gammons (which might I add here that while Pete is a HOFíer, he dropped the ball when he had this fool in the cross-hairs) spewing all of that nonsense. Does he truly think baseball fans are that stupid? And then to add insult to injury, to hire a PR firm to try to bamboozle the American sports public with that BS story about how he got his fix over the counter down in the DR and he didnít know what he was injecting himself with and he and his cousin were young and naÔve? What a coward and a fraud. Face it Spanky you got caught, regardless of how or why. Now act like you got a pair and man up BIYATCHK. Makes you glad that Tek gave that fool a double helping of catcherís mitt sandwich a few years back, no?

 

I agree.  A-Rod is that guy who makes it so easy on himself to hate.  And now with him being out 6-9 weeks its all just a ploy to ease him into the season and take the pressure off him if he doesnít produce playing clean.  Vajajay.

 

4.  What is worse for the NBA:  the abolition of the travel call, Stephon Marbury, or HORSE at the All-Star Break

That is a tough one my freng because all 3 are quite heinous but I am going to have to with the abolition of the traveling call. Starbury and HORSE are likely (if there is a God) passing offenses in the BA but the non-travel call has become an institution. And it is no longer O.K. to only take 3+ steps. Now you can put your hand under the ball (what we old schoolers used to call a carry) to cross people over or, while going to the cup, jump in the air and come down with the ball and then go up with it again (the infamous ìjump stopî). What an injustice and a detriment to the game. By the way, as a wanna-be ref (and I use the term referee very, very loosely), you could start making some more traveling calls down at the CAC. Stop standing around like a cop at a construction site collecting a paycheck. If you ainít part of the solution, youíre part of the problem kid.

I wish I could but CAC has a pro-offense mentality.  Do you know how many people wouldnít be able to score if we called every travel and carry?  Why pay for a league that calls travels?  People go to Vegas because they get to do stuff that aint exactly street legal where they live.  People come to CAC for a little bit of the same reason.

 

5.  Who are your all-CAC starting 5?

WOW. Nice question. And here I thought you spent most of your time down here surfing YouPorn and e-mail harassing girls on Face Book and Match. Silly me.  Looks like someone is trying to graduate to junior journalist. Very nice. Anyways, seeing as I am kinda old (literally) school here you go:

Chris McMahon: Just a beast. End of story.

Greg Poulous (GP): At the time I came to the CAC, he was one of the most dominating forces around.

Wolverine: Relentless on both ends.

B-Rip: He could score with the best ofíem

Todd Billet: Here I go a little new school but come on the kid played and started in the ACC. Not many at the CAC can holah that Iím guessing.

 

6.  Is there any truth to the Rumor you have recruited Pacman Jones off waivers to be your defensive stopper on your 5 on 5 squad?

The thought was there kid. I mean although he doesnít cut or backpedal (unless it is in an interrogation room) like he used to, Pac still has great straight line speed (and he is a definite asset in fight, or at least his boyz are). My biggest worry was that although there are few quality gentlemenís clubs in the Boston metro area (or so Iíve heard), the Foxy Lady is just a limo ride away. Couldnít take the chance he might sully the good name of ODB (or refuse to take me with himÖand pay).

Damn, I wish the Rainman was going to suit up for you guys.  Id request a transfer so Id be covering you games at all costs.  At least heíd probably bring some eye candy to an interview, albeit probably candy that cost $500 an hour…

You make it rain with oneís Shiz, but Pac makes it rain with hunds.

 

7.  What is your favorite aspect of CAC?

The Hoops culture. The ball is really good and I have met some mad cool people there and have some good times both on and off the court (I vaguely remember a couple of the early LDNs). Just good clean (except for the Fo vomiting out of his car and wiping it up with his shirt but that is a story for another day) fun.

What would you like changed at CAC?

I hear they used to have a bar there. What the &%$&!?!? Why would you go and change a beautiful arrangement like that? I can think of nothing finer than to play a tough A1 or A2 game (or maybe an hour or so of pick up on a Saturday morning) and then crush brews into the wee hours (bet Mama Tical knows a little something bout this). Sounds like a recipe for success to me.

I have said the same exact thing.  We need to 1.  bring back the bar. 2. fix the scoreboard 3.  hire Erin Andrews

Feel you there dawg. EA is by far the hottest sideliner bar none. Dee-lish.

 

8.  Brett Farve basically came back for one more year to ensure the Pats wouldnít make the playoffs (lost last game intentionally to Dolphins this reporter thinks) and now he is retiring.  Is this time for real?

First of all itís F-A-V-R-E you pint-sized delinquent. And since I am from Wisconsin and bleed Green and Gold, I am not only disgusted by the absurd accusation of Favre throwing games, I donít know if I can dignify that bush-league question with a response, but I will try. Let me first say that the patsies got what they deserved so stop your whining MA. Anytime you are praying for someone else to do something for you so that you can make the playoffs you already lost. Shoulda taken care of your own business pahtnah. As for Brettís retirement, I truly believe that this time it is for real (and sadly, probably one season too late). I can honestly say he is one of the best QBs to ever buckle a chin strap, a for sure HOFíer and at one time in the mid-late 90ís, the best player in the game. Period.

You donít see him strapping on a Purple and White Vikings jersey?

Excuse me a second, I believe I just threw up in my mouth. Did you just say Favre in a purple and white Vi-Queens jersey, and in the same sentence to boot? Oh no you didnít. You are very lucky my friend that you uttered such blasphemous fecal matter here in MA rather than in Wisco. Out there shizzle like that would get your punk-ass treated like a detainee at Gitmo if you know what Iím sayin pahtnah.

 

9.  Diamonds or Gold, which should man give to a female give in order to get some pink triangle?

Neither. If you need to pay for it kid you ought to have your playahs card revoked (assuming you ever had one).

Zirconia is a form of diamond and I have no problems handing those bad boys out like tic tacs if I get me some touch tacs.

 

10.  Ok, I want funniest and most embarrassing drinking stories about you, The Predator (Dan Herman), and Foley

Most stories arenít for public consumption kid but I do remember one time when we were on a golfing trip (yeah thatís what old guys do, go golfing). We were at a bar in Sof Cacky and Herms and I were macking some honies so Fo thought it would be funny to start sending us over a bunch of shots to try and get us too drunk to continue (if you know what I mean). Well we ended up trading mad shots and needless to say at the end of the night, we left the bar honie-less and Fo passed out on the beach and we had to get all of our boyz to lift him into the back of a Taxi van (no simple feat if you have seen Fo). And then on the way back to the hotel, he proceeded to throw up all over me and the taxi (or was that me that threw up on him, I forget). Suffice it to say that the cabbie was none to happy and we ended up hoofin it the last 3 or so miles back to our hotel, some of us smelling like regurgitated Jaeger Meister. Truly disgusting.

Haha, great stuff Kip.  Let me just say, keep up the banner raising and leave the player hating to the rest of us.  I hope to see you partaking in the 3 on 3 next week (still time to sign up for all those that havenít yet) and just an FYI,  there will be a League Night Out after Sat at Tommy Doyles in Kendal Sq which I expect everyone to attend, whether they play in the 3 on 3 or not!